My friend Kiki Valentine has been trying to get me to go to the variety show she hosts every month since the fall.  Things keep coming up every month, but finally I made one, the Easter Spectacular!.  Her show is a semi-secret affair that combines a variety of performance art in a quite uncensored manner that requires the location to be a mystery until a few days before when performers are announced.  The show I saw featured juggling, comedy, magic, hoola-hooping, and a whole lot of girls taking off their clothes. If not a burlesque show exactly, it is a burlesque environment.  Now burlesque is not normally my thing, but there were some really great performances.  Kiki hosted the whole thing as Amy Winehouse in perfect character even when things fucked up.  She made the mics not working and the curtain not open hilarious.

The highlight for me was actually a juggler named Michael Karas who did two acts, one where he juggled fire dressed as Jesus, and the other where he juggled while stripping and then juggled five balls for his finale.  At one point he dropped one of his fire sticks and it went into the crowd and he nearly set his Jesus robes on fire… Other than that though he was pretty on point with the throwing and the catching.  Other highlights included two friends of mine, Coco La Pearl who ate fire and deep throated a banana with skill that is usually reserved for only the most revered porn stars and Justina Flash who did some surprisingly impressive things with a hoola-hoop.  She also happened to be covered in silver paint and fully topless which helped.  Also worth mentioning was the most horrifying thing I have ever seen.

Famed performer Queen LaQueefa dressed up as Michael Jackson and fucked a baby doll with a strap on and put out two birthday candles with her vagina but none of that compared to the horror of her second act.  She dressed up like a meth head version of Mary and had a comedian friend dress up like a hip hop Jesus. She then proceeded to suck on Jesus’s toes, rip off her clothes showing off her stained ass, wiped it with toilet paper and then threw that as well as used tampons at the crowd.  So, okay, maybe it wasn’t real shit on her ass or real blood on the tampons, but the effect was still unbelievably revolting. She then pulled an airplane sized bottle of vodka out of her vagina and then Jesus fucked her with a strap on as the curtains closed.  It was certainly like nothing I had ever seen before, and I feel like that was probably a good thing.

Anyway other performers I haven’t mentioned yet were Magic Max The Magician and his amazingly round assistant Stormy.  Honestly she is built like a beach ball… and I know that sounds mean but there is something strangely hot about that.  There was this really intense thing were this extraordinarily hot girl named Meira got attacked by naked men dressed as bunnies.  They would rip her clothes off and then she would bop them on the head, so to speak.  At the end she was naked and covered in blood.  There was a comedy duo named RAPE who tried to sell the crowd fake vaginas, a visiting burlesque dancer named Miss Sugarpuss, a dancer named Misty Lux who came out in one hell of a costume and a woman named Philly Caramel who did an act where she worshiped delicious Peeps to the Marvin Gaye/Tammi Terrell hit “You’re All I Need To Get By”.  I was really into that since all I really listen to these days is 70’s soul records.

Okay, there are 250+ pictures from this thing.  I had to put up a lot of mediocre shots so you could follow what was going on in each act, but there is some nice stuff in here too (The Justina Flash shots especially).  Of course, due to Queen LaQueefa these shots are more than a little Not  Safe For Work.  View them all here, but you have been warned.

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