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I am having a fucking shitty day. I am going to try to get up one set of photos from Miami today and hopefully the rest tomorrow and Thursday. I have them all thumbed and watermarked and ready to go. I should never have let them sit around for this long, but right at the end of the trip some shit happened that sort of left a bad taste in my mouth. I don’t really want to talk about it, but I think it is probably resolved. Then today I have just had a horrible day, again for reasons I don’t want to talk about. I want to just go sleep my life away, but I got up and was slightly productive. My room is in shambles as I still have not unpacked from SXSW or WMC. I have like 10000000 things to do and I can’t seem to be bothered to do any of them. I never want to go out and shoot any more and I am just depressed I guess. I am sure I will be fine, I just gotta get past this bump. Today has just been extraordinarily shitty. I just need to take some deep breaths or something. Grrr…

And just for content sake this might be the most strangely impressive thing I have seen myspace post on their front page. Kill me now.

So I have been here for 2 days and slept less than 5 hours total.  I am sleeping on the floor for the next few days, not psyched about that.  It is only like 1 AM right now am I am going to try to sleep for a few hours in a bed before people come kick me onto the floor.  The hotel has house music blasting in the lobby though so any sleep will be tough.  Tomorrow I will party forever.  I have pretty much just shot people holding Vitamin Energy which is the energy drink made by the Vitamin Water folks.  I am not really a big energy drink fan, but they are better than others.  I am pretty much obsessed with Vitamin Water though.  Tomorrow will be more interesting I think.

I go to Miami every year to watch football, but I never go to South Beach or anything.  It is pretty interesting.   I have never seen so many hot girls that I am so uninterested in talking to.  I have zero to say to these girls.  So many fake boobs and blonde hair and tans.  It is pretty fun looking at them… and then walking away.  Everyone is so awful here.  Shirtless muscle bound dudes with blow outs abound.  So weird.  So gross.  Luckily everyone I have been hanging with are good people and I have a bunch of fun.

I had another piece of camera  equipment quit on me. This time my lens some how got jammed for no reason.  I had to buy a lens and drop almost $200 on a lens that is worse that the lens I have now.

I will try to get some photos up soon.  Here a completely random shot from the Club Monaco/Vitamin Energy event I shot today.

My website is pissing me off.  I can’t upload stuff proper.  I have like 3 galleries to go up today but they didn’t.  I will just put an ass load of shit up tomorrow.

I spent the last 2 hours watching episode’s of Tom Green’s new internet/tv show.  I think you should spend from now until whenever I update again watching it.

Watch him tattoo Kat Von D.

Sorry for the total lack of content. Last time I went out of town I was all prepared with Auto Updates and stuff. Next time I leave town I’ll try to be on top of shit. SXSW is over and despite the bullshit and the broken camera I had a blast and have a bunch of weird stories to tell about the trip. I took nearly 3000 photos and am probably going to upload half of them over the next week. I get back tonight at midnight, so Tuesday I go back to work. I think I have about 8 updates worth of stuff to go up at probably 2-3 a day. No naked people though. Lots of boring photos of DJs though. I spent 5 hours last night organizing photos and I still have to go through them all and put them in to separate categories to make sense of them all. I don’t have to leave until 5 tomorrow, plus an 8 hour trip back to NYC, so I should have a lot of time to work everything ready to go by Tuesday.

On the bright side, I found out that since my camera is so old I can get one used for less than I paid for my flash. This experience did stress to me the importance of having a back up system, so I think I am going to get a used D70 (my current camera) and then use the money I made from this trip and the money I hope I will be making from Winter Music Conference to buy a D300 or something. I got to play around with a Cannon on Friday and and then I shot with a different Cannon on Saturday and I have to say that I am pretty happy sticking with Nikon.

Anyway, so you can have something to look at, my friend got his name shaved into the back of his head by a drunk hair stylist at a bar on Friday and we had a long conversation about hair design videos on YouTube. What I noticed about these videos is that while some of these hair cuts are fucking amazing, all the videos about them have the worst fucking music on earth as the soundtrack.

So today my camera broke. Like for no reason, out of nowhere. Something in it just said no more. I had to rent a camera and I am pretty fucking destroyed. I think it is going to cost an insane amount to fix it, so I will probably just get a new camera… maybe the D300. I have no money for this, but this gig is paying well and I think I got a job shooting Winter Music in Miami so hopefully that will cover the new camera, only… I need it BEFORE I go to Miami, so I will probably be selling some shit soon.

IMPORTANT TO NOTE! If anyone in NYC has a Nikon D70 or 80 or D1x or anything like that they never use and would let me borrow until I can get a new camera I would be extremely grateful and I could probably toss you a bit of $.

Anyway, right now I am on my friends computer and having an allergic reaction to his cat. And he just played a the worst show of his career (and once I saw him get in a fist fight on stage with his drummer) and he was pissed off all night. And then he and I tried to get into the Blender party but it didn’t happen, so instead we just walked in to the VIP part of the Blender party and I ran into Drop The Lime and took pictures of Kid Sister throwing peanuts into Diplo’s mouth with my film camera.

Point is… I have shot over 2000 images so far and will figure out how to get them up on here once I get home. I have Sunday free so maybe I can get some updates going on. Also… I might have a photo published in People Magazine… so here’s hoping.

In the mean time watch this stupid extremely old video of Pikachu singing Mindless Self Indulgence. MSI are horrible, but this video is amazing. I was in love with it in like 2001 and I just heard the song for the first time in at least 5 years yesterday and I had to watch it again… so now you have to too. Or not. Whatever.

So, updating from now until Monday is unlikely at best. I was staying at this girls house that I met in Austin two years ago. We hit it off so well and she came and visited me in NYC and then we hung out at SXSW last year and we talk via the internets all the time. She picked me up from the air port and I was so fucking excited to see her. We went straight back to her house and made out and were all cute and I was totally excited. She told me she was coming to NYC for an internship this summer and it was awesome. So then I shot this party for 14 straight hours and she didn’t come pick me up and I had to get a ride with these three random girls I met. They took me to this house party where I ran into Cobra Kai, and Jackson and Flick Master Flash and a bunch of people I know from Austin and friends of my brother and Terrence and my friend from NJ and Clayton from Everyone Is Famous and Diplo was swimming by a pool and people were jumping off the roof into the pool and it was amazing… but I was exhausted. Then we got back to my friends house and their friend came over and they smoked weed while I looked at all the photos I took. Then my friend was like “I need to go to bed” and I was like “I’ll be right there.” And that’s when she told me that the guy who brought the weed was going to be sleeping with her tonight and I would be on the couch. I was completely fucking enraged. I was so fucking hurt as well. So I had to sleep on the couch right outside their room while I heard them talk and giggle and moan until 7 fucking AM. I couldn’t sleep at all. In the last three days I took an 8 hour plane trip, shot a 14 hour party, and have slept a max total of 5 hours. I want to die, but I have to shoot all day then party all night.

Anyway, point is, I am obviously not staying with that girl anymore and I am now at my old roommates place and he does not have wireless internet. So I am on his computer, but I don’t have access to mine. So I can’t really do this or any update right… hence the lack of content and even links.

Hopefully I will figure something out, but right now shit is totally fucked up. See you as soon as possible. Fuck.

I check my key words that people search in google every day to see who comes to my site… most people are looking for the Lindsay Lohan topless pics, the Vanessa Hudgens nude photos or for some reason videos of Japanese Sharking. That being said my most popular keyword is overwhelmingly “driven by boredom”. So anyway, yesterday I was looking through my key words and I found that “2 Topless Girls Walking Down The Street” was searched for like 10 times. I am not sure why this is the case, but I honestly want to go take a photo now of topless girls walking down the street just so I can help these people out. Anyway, here are 10 amazing key words that people searched in order to get to my site in the last week:

1. my favorite things are fucked faces
2. lauren flax lesbian
3. girlfriends kissing balls at home party pics
4. safe sites for amimal humen fucking
5. 1970 thru 1990 softcore pornstars
6. girls who smoke crack and get naked
7. cow fucking
8. girl shoots football out of her vagina
9. guys who jerk off watching a girl get a flat tire
10. free blackula sex fetish

Amazing… Also, I don’t like leaving you guys without some media so here is one of those Japanese Sharking videos, but this one is of bottom sharking where a guy pulls up a girls skirt and pulls down her underwear on the street. It is basically rape, and completely horrible and these guys should go to jail and be sodomized by huge men. That being said, watching sharking videos is like watching a car accident, you just can’t stop. uncomfortably NSFW.

Sharking Bottom sharking

Hey guys! How about an advertisement!! I don’t know anything at all about fashion, I pretty much just wear jeans and a t-shirt every day. I mean, I dig on some street wear brands and my Nike high tops, but other than that I am pretty out of it. Fashion week was fun though right? Anyway, what I do know about is that I get a lot of people coming to this website and clicking on links. And that makes people want me to talk about things… Such as Zac Posten’s fashion week show. Evidently I am going to get some free stuff that until 30 minutes ago I didn’t think I needed if I write the following on my blog:

“If you haven’t heard of Zac Posen…wait till you see his fall 2008 line. Hes a NYC based designer who has a whole new take on the fashion industry, his new designs are creative and innovative with a mostly black and white theme.”

“For the full 2008 Fall Fashion Week Line click here“

Now, I am not sure what that means, but I am positive it is true. The guy who is giving me stuff would not lie to me. I mean who can put a price on things you don’t really want right? I could put a price on ad space on this site though… if any one is interested.

Anyway, I at least think these clothes are pretty fun. I would probably hit on a girl who was wearing this… or at least take her picture…

For all the inane bullshit myspace posts on their front page, this National Geographic clip about Yakuza Horimono tattoos is extremely awesome.  I actually want to write a huge article about myspace video comments.  Every time they post a video I can almost guess word for word some of the comments.  It is only the most ignorant racist people who post on there.  Like the dregs of society all signed up for myspace just to comment on stupid videos.  I won’t go on, I will save that for another time, but I will leave you with a few choice quotes from the comment section of the below video.

Nick the Destryoyer if you loved Jesus some much why did you love to suck DZZZnuts dont every saything about Tats even with your gay ass snake bits.

i would never get a bodysuit! then ya got no room ta put new shit wen ur fiendin for more ink

gross!! hey, do you know that Jesus loves you so much that He went to the cross to die for you?

My friend died last year from chain letters repost this or she will come and kill you every thime u here a ring in your ear she will make your life shorter and shorter repost this to 10 other videos

And that is just in the first two pages… out of 61.  You should read the shit people post after something mildly controversial.  Expect more on this in the future.

You can order Super Bowl Championship gear for BOTH teams in the Super Bowl.  I find this sort of amazing.  Even if they lose, you can get the Giants stuff.  That is hilarious.  Once several years ago I saw a homeless man wearing a Buffalo Bills Super Bowl Champ hat.  I did some research and found out that they make stuff for both teams and that they some times give the rejects to homeless shelters.  These things gotta be some sort of collectors items.

And for the record, as a die hard Miami Dolphins fan, I will be rooting so hard against the fucking Patriots.  Nothing would make me happier than to see them lose the Super Bowl.  Plus I grew up loving Sam Madison who is now a Giant, so I would love to see him win.  Plus… you know… I live in NYC.  I still don’t know exactly what I am doing for the Super Bowl, but LETS GO GIANTS!

Meet Erica.  She is a Gods Girl.  I called her when I was driving from Las Vegas to LA.  She is from San Diego and decided she would meet me in LA to take photos.  We go to the city at almost the exact same time.  We had coffee and watched people play dominoes for about 20 minutes and then walked to my rental car and took dirty pictures in the back seat.  She had a really bad cold and it was pretty hard to get stuff out of her feeling as bad as she did.  Luckily we had the time to take a LOT of photos and I think the good ones came out very well.  I just hope she digs them.  After we took the photos she immediately got back in her car and drove the two hours to San Diego.  Crazy.  Rad girl.  If you want to see her naked you should click here.  NSFW.

I am going to be back in New York at 9AM tomorrow morning. I have a ton of weird photos to go up, but I have had no time to deal with them. I have been pretty busy and in a room full of like 20 people at all times. It is sort of hard to get work done. I left my sleeping pills in LA so last night I woke up like every 20 minutes. It is sort of amazing that I got any sleep at all. With the altitude, lack of sleep and my allergies I feel absolutely horrible. It is so weird to be here because I don’t know anyone in Hollywood and I don’t know how to get into any parties. I just randomly walked the street, but I did run into my friend Joe Swanberg who is covering Sundance for Myspace. He is a reasonably respected director and couldn’t really get into any parties either. The two of us and a bunch of his friends sort of ran around doing nothing and they went to hang out at their place and I went home and tried to sleep. Anyway, this is sort of unexciting, but I did meet Danny Glover. Check out one of Joe’s videos below.

PS. My naked clown photos had a broken link.  They work now.

Fuck.  I have been awake for 32 straight hours.  It is so fucking cold in Utah.  I took photos of celebrities holding products all fucking day today.  One party I tried to go to ended when I got there, the other was too crowded.  I just went back to this HUGE penthouse sweet I am staying in. Oh.. on the flight here they searched my bag and there was like 8 porn DVDs, a bunch of copies of my x-rated x-mas card, a book on pornographic motel photos and a clown mask.  Fucking embarrassing.

I have to sleep.  So busy.  Will try to update in future.

For now, I got nothing.

I am a few hours away from leaving this city. I didn’t really do anything productive while I was here. I shot one party and one girl and got a bunch of free porn. Last night Day By Day took me to this illegal Japanese piano bar where the woman who owned it sang lounge music in Spanish. According to some people at the bar she used to be as big as Madonna in Japan. I am not sure if they were talking about the pop singer or the religious icon. There was a 6 dollar cover to get in and I had to buy a $5 water, but it was the water was insane looking and they gave us free pop corn. Afterwards we got very lost because everyone including the driver was completely drunk. There was some sort of insane argument over directions and we almost crashed several times. Madness. Here are some photos Dave took last night. I kept my camera at home. Below is one of their videos that they just showed me. Evidently 1.3 million people have seen it… yet some how I haven’t. Insanity.

The gang’s all here - Watch more free videos

I actually got some sleep last night, and I didn’t take any photos last night.  I am just sort of hanging out.  I think I’ll be shooting a party tonight maybe, but I am also sort of enjoying not doing anything.  Yesterday I went over to VividAlt and hung out with Eon McKai who is my favorite porn director.  He just kept handing me free porn… I don’t think I will ever be able to watch all of it.  Whoever checks my bag at the airport is going to be amused with the huge stack of porn.  I then went and hung out with my brothers friend Toby who is awesome.  We watched 3 Ninjas: High Noon At Mega Mountain and determined it to be the worst film ever made despite the appearance of such legends as Hulk Holgan, Loni Anderson and Jim Varney.  I think hung out with former New Yorker Lauren Foust and we drove around the Hollywood hills for like an hour after making some pit stopps at some hipster bars.  Good times.  I have nothing else to update you with though, so I apologize for that, but I will leave you with this 3 Ninjas rant I found.