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I was waiting for the Voice to get these up before I put them up.  Well here they are.

There was a Batman theme called “Dark Nyte” which I thought was cute.  I met a girl that I took naked photos of in Vegas, but she kept her clothes on this night.  One girl that I did not even say a word to me flashed me, so NSFW.  I hope that girl from Vegas hangs out again, she’s super cute.  Anyway, this party was a week ago and I sort of forget what went on.  But I just saw that the Voice put these photos up so I figured I would do this update before I fell asleep.  I am now on sleeping pills and fading fast, so with that in mind:

Your BYTE photos go here.

I totally forgot about these photos.  I have had them for like 3 weeks or something.  I met this girl at Happy Endings.  I was talking to her about how she lived in LA and how she has something to do with fashion or something.  I am not actually quite sure.  Anyway, her friend was like “she will get naked for you”.  And so we went to a bathroom, took some photos and then she called me from Cape Cod two days later drunk or something and was ranting about something.  I actually wanted to hang out with her more, but I had to deal with something and she disappeared.  She should come back.  We could take better photos.

Here are a few cute ones.  NSFW.

Sarah 2.0 is called Sarah 2.0 because my friend was dating a girl named Sara for a long time and then he broke up with her and pretty much immediately started dating another girl named Sarah. I dubbed her Sarah 2.0. Although I have not seen Sara 1.0 in a month or something and am now good friends with 2.0, he will still always be 2.0 to me.

Anyway, we tried to shoot this set once before, in this exact same bathroom, but she had really bad sunburn. I thought it would make for really great tan lines, but it was too uneven and ended up look like some kind of rash or something. It was really too bad. When she was wearing a mask to Trash last friday for the Masquerade Ball thing, I thought this would be a really good time to reshoot it. I think the photos are pretty hot, but before we get to them some completely unrelated notes of interest:

1. I am watching this Rolling Stones Rock And Roll Circus VHS tape that my coworker lent me while I am updating this and John Lennon is jamming with Keith Richards and Eric Clapton (They went by the name The Dirty Mac) and Jimmy Hendrix’s drummer and they are all rocking out and it’s great and everything and then Yoko Ono comes on and it is like screaming and wailing and it becomes the most awful thing ever. And everyone is just sort of looking around feeling embarrassed except for John who is taking the whole thing very seriously. It is very fucked up. I had no idea how bad Yoko really was.
2. On Friday night, I didn’t take any photos, but I was at Trash and I was talking to my friend Nicole and this really drunk girl comes up puts her arm around me and starts telling me that she wants me. Me and Nicole are sort of laughing and I am holding her up. Nicole and I keep talking. Then she goes up to Nicole and says “If you have a problem with him going home with me, we can take this outside.” Needless to say that Nicole fell on the floor laughing and I decided right then and there that that was the best and will be the best thing that anyone has ever said to me, about me, or involving me in anyway for as long as I live.

Anyway, it is time too look at half naked photos of the lovely, long legged Sarah 2.0. NSFW.

I guess it bares mentioning from time to time that the Tuesday party upstairs at Happy Endings is called Disco Down. While I am friends with both parties, 66Sick started first, so the party on this site is categorized as such. They should really just team up.

Anyway, Tuesday was pretty nuts. The most crowded I have ever seen Happy Endings maybe. I sort of went there looking for some people who never actually showed up. Some other people did, and I had some long conversations, including several I did not want to have about other party photographers. Sophia Lamar and Larry Tee were there… Dances With White Girls was dressed in a little sailor suit and Jackson was sans glasses. I am not sure that any of that is important, but that seems like the type of thing people mention when blogging about parties. I got to hang out with my friend Erica who I had not really talked to in ages, and I went to breakfast with Xochielt after who I had not seen in even longer. So that was good. Also, right before I left I took photos of the biggest boobs to ever appear on this website, or maybe ever anywhere on Earth. So be warned.

Enjoy the madness here.

That I have about 5 or 6 updates ready to go up, I just haven’t had time to get them up.  I am taking tonight off, and things should be up late tonight.

In the mean time I wanted to post this clip.  I have been holding onto it for a while now, waiting for an excuse to post it.  It is probably the greatest sports highlight I have ever seen.  A female streaker hits a shot from 30 feet out.  It is sort of amazing.  It is slightly NSFW as the girl who kicks the goal is in fact naked, but it is not really that bad, and it is really that amazing.

So yes. Friday. It existed. I went to Trash at 40c then Annex for Ruff Club then back to Trash for a bit and then I got to eat fried chicken which is my favorite thing to do on Earth. I have photos of Trash and Ruff but not of chicken. I am not really sure if anything important or interesting happened, but I did notice that everything was dead in the city because everyone was watching fireworks on some random apartment in Brooklyn, or so one might suppose. Oh, the first group of photos in this involving my friend Stormy water boarding my friend Kelly, taking off all her clothes and then setting off a smoke bomb. NSFW. Happy 4th of July motherfucker.

Oh, I also had a 15 minute conversation with Danny Tamberelli who was the little Pete in Pete and Pete. He went to school with some friends of mine, and was involved in some sort of drama involving his ex and her boyfriend. Thew two of them are making a book about celebrity shaped penii who live in boxes and they want me to photograph it. I am not sure. Danny seemed like good people and I am sure I will run into him at some point or other in the fure. Okay Okay… Pictures now.

WLTF is a personals acronym for “Would Like To Fuck”. It is also the name of an online art magazine dealing with sex. Issue number 1, is actually the second issue and it features images representing the theme “Let’s Fuck, Not Fight!” I had meant to submit some photos, but I sort of forgot until after the deadline. I asked them if I could still send some in and they said it was probably too late. I sent in a few and I guess they liked one of them enough to publish it. The shot I have in the magazine was an unpublished shot that I took with my 35mm point and shoot camera on the set of Hell’s Kittens a porn that I got behind the scenes on. It was truly a weird experience. You can see my digital images from that here.

Anyway, check out the magazine, it is pretty sexual in nature, so be warned…

So last night was weird. I did have a lot of fun though. I was there for about 15 minutes when this girl I had not seen in months showed up and when I went to say “hi” she sort of ignored me. So I said “Do you remember me?” To which she replied, “You are that photographer for that shitty website.” Then over the next few minutes she proceeds to tell me my site is shit, I am shit and that I am a creep, all the while she is caressing my face. I was not sure to make up for it until she told me she needed to puke. I took her around the corner so no one would see her and bought her a Gatorade and some gum while she puked and hung out with her until we could find the people she came with. We ended up getting along and it was actually kinda nice. After that I met a DJ named Jen Lasher who was part of the same club scene that I was moderately part of in the late 90’s in DC. That was cool. Anyway, while I was talking to her, Mr. Photog came up to me and told me about a photo project he is working on that involves taking photos of people in bathrooms… WITH CLOTHES ON?! I am not sure I get why he would possibly want non naked photos, but I agreed. I felt weird being on the other side of a camera in a bathroom, so I did what came naturally… I showed him my tits. Now to get the shot, he had to climb up on the sink and put one foot on the door and suspend in the air. Right after he finished taking the shot, someone opened the door and he tumbled out onto the floor. It was quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever seen. The guy who opened the door did not quite no what to make of it, and when he saw me walk out with my camera in my hand too, I am pretty sure he was just bewildered. He kept telling me that it was just between us.

Anyway, I took a ton of good photos last night because I was in a good mood. Look at them.

Ps. This gallery is mildly NSFW.

Kandace is a Burning Angel girl who strangely enough I met on Suicide Girls. I went on SG looking for some girls to take photos of months ago when I was stuck in DC for a week. She didn’t get back in time, but we kept in touch and finally when I was in town for my grandmother 91st birthday we met up. Kandace does not have the figure or look one might associate with a model, however it was pretty much immediately obvious that she was the exact type of girl I am interested in photographing when she agreed to take naked photos in a shopping mall. She was pretty rad and pretty much everything she does makes you think about sex.  She also has these signs in her house.  Hilarious.

Anyway, the mall is an underground shopping center called Crystal City which is just a few miles from the Pentagon in Arlington, VA. At some point it was a very popular mall until the Pentagon City Mall was built just a few blocks away. I lived probably 3 miles from it my entire life and had no idea it even existed until I was driving around one night looking for the entrance to a seedy 50’s style motel off the side of Route 1. My friend Andy and I had the idea of getting a hold of a tank of Nitrous Oxide ant throwing N20 hotel party there. None of this actually happened but we did stumble onto this mall at 2 AM one night. The Mall itself was completely empty at night and until I shot with Kandace I had never seen so much as a security guard there. Being in it was like being in Dawn Of The Dead or something. You could walk around and see the empty food court and things and the Muzak is playing and everything is extremely creepy and everything sort of goes in a circle and you never really know where you are. There are also several passage ways that lead to other office buildings in the area that are strangely similar to the layout of a level from Doom. Many nights of my high school summer vacations were spent watching my friends skateboard and generally cause havoc in the mall.

Kandace and I roamed all over the mall and the passageways and exits of the mall looking for places to shoot. We did actually see several couples who were using the mall as a late night date experience. We even saw a security guard who walked slowly towards us after a few minutes of my flash going off, but he really never got near us as we moved around the mall to new places. He did not seem to want to stop us, just doing due diligence checking things out. I was not surprised to see a security guard there as the last time I visited this mall my friends and I dumped roughly 12 full bottles of laundry detergent into the water park that was across the street. The last several images from the set of Kandace are taken in front of the water park. Where she is standing at one time was covered in 4-5 feet of foam thanks to our detergent terrorism. It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. A friend of mine went back several weeks after our attack to try it again and was immediately met by security. So I have to say, maybe I had some help in securing Crystal City in this post 911 world. God bless me.

The one regret I have of these photos is not including enough background in the shots. I was trying to take the photos as quickly as possible so we would not get arrested, and I didn’t concentrate on really showing the fact that we are in a mall. Some of them are better than others.

Anyway, enjoy the shots. NSFW of course.

Last night was super fun. Slightly stressful though. It was one of those nights were everyone I had not seen in a long time all showed up at once and I didn’t know who to pay attention to. I just talked to everyone for a few minutes even though I wanted to catch up with everyone. Still, I got some great photos out of it and had a blast.

Nothing too exciting happened (that I can talk about) and then I went and ate a banana split with some people and that was good. Go look at the photos they are pretty good. There is some NSFW stuff in there. That’s always fun.

I am in DC and about to go shoot some BA girl who lives here. So more naked people soon.

Adios.

I seriously thought I updated yesterday. I didn’t go out until like 2 am. What the fuck was I doing for two hours? I was talking to this girl about doing photos and she was all excited about it, and then today I was in a shitty mood and I started talking to her and yelling at her for wanting to get a real job and not be a fuck up like 20 year olds should be. Oh well. I have been a bad mood for two days. These photos from High Voltage are particularly bad because not only was I in a bad mood, but I was dealing with some other shit and working on my 4th Of July project and not taking party photos. But I was at a party with a camera and people kept demanding I take their photos, so I did and I just sort of wildly tossed around my camera and took shots when I felt like it. It seems like half of them are photos of my friend Delilah and her drunk friends. One of them was going to get naked for the site, but then her boyfriend called her and they got into some argument or something and she didn’t really get naked. She did flash a cab driver, which was hilarious. The look on his face made me want to pee myself. And everyone in this pizza place saw and was cracking up. She does have one boob out in these photos, plus my friend Sam flashed me, so like, Not Safe For Work and stuff. I actually ended up with a few shots I like over all, so check the photos out and we can all just have a good time.

Speaking of Sea Gulls, I saw the biggest fucking gull I have ever seen the other day, and I was thinking that if you had never seen a bird and that thing came up to you, you would probably be scared shitless. More frequent updates soon. Sorry for the slack.

So Lotus is closing and Michael T asked me to do a photo booth because the party was zombie themed. Once I got there we scrapped that idea and I just did my normal thing. I got my new camera to start working again although I am not sure why it stopped in the first place, which is a little bit of a concern. I also got a new bounce thing to go on my flash which I am pretty happy with. I dig the results. I met this girl who I made out with for like a second and then we sat down and started talking but she was kinda drunk so I just gave her my number and told her that if she wanted to call me when she was sober I would probably pick up. I was just saying goodbye when her large gay friend pulled her away from me and wouldn’t let me say bye to her. He was being a complete dick for no reason and I am not exactly sure why we didn’t get into a fight, but I am pretty sure it had something to do with me holding on to my new camera. The thing is, I was actually really trying to be a good guy and not mess with her. I pretty much got “hug blocked” Grr.

Anyway, here are pictures from the night. They are pretty fun. NSFW for some giant boobs towards the end of the gallery.

This event at Supreme Trading was soooo long ago. I shot it on spec for the Village Voice and they bought it from me. I got the check today. I was waiting until they posted it to post the photos, but it has been weeks so it needs to go up. I thought now was a good time, because my next post is going to be a plug for ANOTHER zombie party. So yeah. Look above this post for fun party times tonight. Anyway, I don’t want to go into the whole thing, because it was a while ago, but it was nuts and the pictures are fucking crazy and not safe for work…. but for once not because of nudity (although there sort of is a bit) but because of gore and bloodshed! There were suspensions and hooks and fire and blood and madness. REAL blood. Not just zombie blood.

Here are the troublemakers involved:

Doug Sakmann: Ringleader Extraordinaire.
New York Zombie Crawl: Zombies Like Brooklyn Too.
Nassau Chainsaw: Band + Weapons = Amazing.
DisGraceLand HooK Squad: Suspentions, Hooks And Violence
Zamora Torture King: Putting The Sideshow In Zombie Sideshow
Burning Angels: Half Naked Zombie Whores!

 Okay okay, check out the fucking brutal photos already.

So I love swimming.  And I love girls in bikinis.  And I love dance parties.  I cannot think of anything better than a Hotel QT pool party.  It is slightly terrifying that I will destroy my camera, which is why these photos are shot with my recently made back up camera.  And although I am sick of making excuses for why my photos sometimes suck, due to me being a moron, these photos are not that amazing, but I will keep why that is to my self.  Fortunately they are really fun, so I am pretty sure that makes up for it.  ALSO, they were good enough for the Voice, so bite me.  I can’t wait for the next one.   Check out all the sexy photos here. (So sexy in fact, that I am rating these NSFW due to some ever so exciting female nipples!)

Am I the only person who still wants to bang Amy Whinehouse despite that she is a crackhead and you know… not hot? I just have a thing for damaged women and fucked up teeth.  Click the photo to see her nipples.