Zombie Beauty Pageant – 10.24.10
I cover most of the NYC Zombie Crawl events because my buddy Doug Sakmann runs the things. He also does Strip For Pain, makes porn with Burning Angel and then does totally legit shit like film festivals and commercials. It’s been well documented that I love the dude, but sometimes his events can be a bit much for me.
I hate being sticky and he always smells like fake blood. It’s made with syrup and every time I smell pancakes I think of Doug and his blood. After the Dolphins lost on Sunday I had no interest in doing ANYTHING much less going to Beauty Bar to get covered in fake blood for some sort of insane beauty pageant. But Doug and his right hand woman Autumn yelled at me for not coming and then my friend Darenzia was hosting and she gave me shit and I hadn’t seen Beauty Bar owner Mike Stewart in ages and Michael T was MCing and Erica Starr produced the whole thing and I knew I would get crazy pictures so the pressures over came me and I relented and got in my borrowed car and I drove to the East Village and pulled my camera out. (How’s that for a run on sentence?)
The Beauty Pageant started out slow and I missed most of the first round so I don’t even really know what was going on but they narrowed the field down to a handful of girls. They took a break in between rounds and I said hello to everyone and got pulled into the bathroom with my favorite fat naked chick Sammie Sprinkles. I don’t think I had ever seen boobs that big in real life, so I was pretty pumped to shoot them. Round two consisted of girls eating weird eyeball and intestine food and telling the crowd what their favorite zombie movie is. They were all wrong. Let’s go to the list:
IGOR’s TOP 5 Zombie Movies:
I would have also accepted Night of the Living Dead, any of the Living Dead Films, and Zombi. Speaking of zombie movies… Check out this article I wrote a few years ago.
Moving on…
The third and final round of the Zombie Beauty Pageant was the bloody t-shirt contest. It was like a wet t-shirt contest except instead of water (or Faygo) the girls were covered in fake blood. It was totally insane and horrific. It looked like their had been a mass execution. Beauty Bar will never be the same.
Ultimately, Suicide Girl and burlesque performer Bettina won and everyone went home completely fucking sticky and smelling like a Waffle House. The end.
Oh, and these photos are very obviously NSFW!
Evil dead isn’t a zombie movie (it’s a DEMON movie)
To me living dead is living dead. But you have a point. A zombie hand wouldn’t come alive and try to kill anyone. Although there is that great scene in Return of the Living Dead where half a dog comes to life…