By the time you read this I will be on my way to Miami, FL to take a bunch of photos at Art Basel and Miami Art Week and then watch my Dolphins play the Oakland Raiders on Sunday. I won’t be back until Tuesday and I kinda have a feeling I won’t update so much when I am gone. I will be updating my Tumblr and Twitter a lot but I don’t really see too many updates between now and a week from now. I will try to get something up Friday and something up Monday but I don’t even know if I will have reliable internet access. When I travel I rarely make plans so who fucking knows.

Anyway, since I wanted to get something up as to update you to the status of my adventuring I looked around to see if I had any old posts that slipped through the cracks and I did! During CMJ I shot the Bruise Cruise party at Public Assembly but I was only there for about 90 minutes so I didn’t really have a full gallery or anything. The party had an amazing line up but I missed almost everything so I never put it up.

The one band I did get to see was Bleached and they were amazing. They sounded a little bit like X and a little Ramonesey and all awesome. Also their lead singer lady was walking around with a teddy bear full of honey all night cause her throat was fucked up. That was pretty adorable. I bought their 7″ single and it was pretty great. So check them out for sure.

Okay, that’s it. It’s Miami time. Click here to see pictures from the Bruise Cruise CMJ party on my way out of town…

You guys remember Whitney right? We went on a road trip across the country this summer. You might recall that we took topless photos of her along the way. It was good times. Unfortunately after she dropped me off I didn’t see her again until a few days ago. Whitney was in NYC for a little bit after that but we never managed to run into each other and then she was back to LA from whence she came.  Luckily for us she was in town this past week and we decided we had to do a new photo shoot.

But where could we shoot I wondered? I am pretty much out of locations. I noticed on the Twitters that Mishka was promoting their Black Friday sale pretty heavily and it gave me idea.  Their 350 Broadway flagship store is right around the corner from my Brooklyn apartment so I hit them up and asked them if I could use it as a location. Mishka said yes and we pulled come clothes for Whitney out of boxes in the back (including this Engineered To Destroy snapback that I now own) and we got to work.

350 Broadway has insanely weird mixed lighting so we got to mess around with that a lot. The photos glow of liquor store esque neon lights. We had her play Street Fighter and lay around on top of sweaters. They probably could sell for more now… One of the funniest parts of the shoot was that we did it right around 3PM and school kids and Hasidic families kept walking by.  We hid her pretty good when we could but I think a few people got a pretty good show.

Anyway, enjoy the NSFW photos and make sure you score some Mishka swag for all the hip kids on your Christmas list. They are having a big Cyber Monday sale today only!

Click here to see all the shots of Whitney at Mishka’s 350 Broadway flagship in Brooklyn.

Since I didn’t update on Thanksgiving and I probably won’t update again until Monday I wanted to give you guys a little Black Friday update. I figured nothing would make you guys happier than watching a few videos of people getting trampled on Black Friday.

By the way I did some Black Friday madness at Best Buy last year and it was kinda fun and I got really cheap hard drives. This year I have been reading Twitter and it’s just post after post mocking people who get up early and wait in line for Black Friday sales. I have heard several people talk about how they should work harder the rest of the year so they would have more money to pay for full price things. I also have heard people talk shit about consumerism and how it’s gross that people buy things.

I just wanted to say fuck you to all of you. How can you judge people like that in this economy. How can you tell parents that they shouldn’t by their kids Christmas presents because it doesn’t mesh with your bullshit vegan hipster lifestyle. Shout outs to all the people out there doing what they can to get the things they need for their families at a price they can afford.

Now all that being said, watch these fun videos of poor desperate people try to kill each other over discount electronics.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOVD-m8urJU[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeSgBL7gpAk&feature=related[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCoR2hcseIw[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DigiWS1YhxI&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

Last night it was miserable and rainy and the day before the day before Thanksgiving but I just got a new lens and I wanted to go play with it. I picked up a prime 35mm 1:2 lens that a photographer recommended to me at Fun Fun Fun and at $300 it’s more than $1000 less than the 35 1:1.4 that I have been longing. It’s not really an ideal lens for nightlife and I got it for low light portrait work but I wanted to play with it.

I headed out to the Wolf Party which was surprisingly packed for how shitty it was outside. I pulled my flash off camera and shot with two flashes for the first time since I got my current lens which is too long to shoot using my pop up flash.  The two flashes plus the depth of field I got with the new lens opened up made for some nice shots, but it’s way too much a pain in my ass for normal use. By the end of the party I had my flash back on my camera and was missing my zoom lens.

Anyway, I am 100% sure that unless you are a photographer you do not give a fuck about the last two paragraphs. So just look at all the wild pics from the party and I will shut the fuck up.

Click here to check out all the shots from the Wolf Party at Le Souk.

When I was in Austin and unexpected opportunity presented itself. Alysha Nett just happened to be in town and wanted to take some photos. Alysha travels all over the place to model but she is based out of Philly. We have talked about shooting many times but I figured it would be in NYC or in her neck of the woods, I never thought it would be in Texas of all places. Fortunately we were both in town for Fun Fun Fun Fest and we both were still in town on the Monday following the festival. I went over to her friend Hattie Watson’s place (who I hope to shoot (for real) one day too!) and Alysha took off her clothes in Hattie’s kitchen.  Actually I should say that she took off my clothes since the shirt she is wearing in the pictures is my 150th anniversary of Texas shirt that my grandmother gave me when I was six years old. It seemed appropriate wardrobe for a Texas shoot.

I like a bunch of these photos because Alysha is such a good model but maybe using the harsh track lighting in Hattie’s kitchen wasn’t the best idea. Still, when you have a girl like Alysha drinking wine with a straw naked in a kitchen you cannot possibly go wrong. Also I should mention that not only is Alysha a babe but she is also an amazingly cool girl and she once convinced me to go rollerskating with her which is a pretty impressive feat. I hope I get to hang out with her and take a lot more photos soon!

These photos are NSFW of course and you should look at them until your eyeballs explode.

Click here to see all the magical naked photos of the babelicious Alysha Nett in Austin, TX.

During this years Gathering of the Juggalos I got a chance to sit along side Camille Dodero while she interviewed the Insane Clown Posse and their proteges Twiztid. During and after the interviews I had a chance to take some photos of the guys up close and I got some shots I really liked. I was planning on running these pictures way back in August but I was waiting for Camille to run her interviews. She ultimately ended holding on to the Twiztid interview until it was time to promote their recent show in NYC. I was going to finally publish the photos then but I got stuck with all this CMJ Fest coverage and then Voodoo Fest and Fun Fun Fun and I am just now getting around to posting these photos. So click the links above to check out the interviews and then check out my photos by clicking the link below. It’s a good mix of digital and 35mm including some 35mm black and white which really brings out the violent clowniness in their eyes.

Click here to check out my portraits of the Insane Clown Posse and Twiztid from the Gathering of the Juggalos.

I don’t even know why I need to keep telling you motherfuckers about how life changing my punk cover band is, but you need to know. You get another chance tonight to see Fucking Bullshit if you have the balls for it. We are playing a free show tonight at Lulu’s in Greenpoint. Not only is the show free but you get free pizza with every drink order. You cannot fuck with that. The show starts at 9 and we play around 11. There are two metal bands from Boston playing with us.

Seriously you need to go for one of three reasons. 1) You are a friend of mine/fan of this website and you need to support. 2) You want to just see a wild fucking show and like the idea of watching me do something insanely fucked up on stage 3) You like punk rock and this shit will actually be an amazing fun time for you.

We have played three shows so far and I have bled on stage in two of them.  I will get drunk and possibly vomit. I might get naked. Who fucking knows? I certainly don’t. I can’t promise anything other than it will be a wild show and the more people who show up the more likely it is for the show to end in a horrifying display of violence.

To get a better understanding of what I am talking about look at these photos and then enjoy this short video clip of me trying to knock myself unconscious with a microphone while covering a GG Allin song. I love you all, see you tonight.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3m9cIFWP6g&feature=related[/youtube]

So now that I am finally caught up with all the Fun Fun Fun Fest/Voodoo Fest posts I decided to look back and see if there was anything I missed. Turns out I have four galleries that somehow didn’t get posted. Two of those are Miami Dolphins related. I think part of it was that the Dolphins are not good at football and part of it is that I already blogged the pictures over on DolfansNYC, but most of it was just that I have been insanely busy. But whatever the case these pictures are over a month old and it’s time to get both galleries up at the same time so we can move on.

So as you may know I am one of the founders of Dolfans NYC the New York City Miami Dolphins official fan club. I know to most of you that sounds completely insane when you look at it with the rest of the shit I do in my life, but such is the case. I also care about the Miami Dolphins more than I do anything else and if I could trade naked girls for a Dolphins Super Bowl victory you would never see a boob on this website again. Luckily for you I cannot make such a trade.

Anyway, when the Dolphins come to NYC to play the New York Jets Dolfans NYC has to hold it down. This year we bought 71 tickets as a group and had a lot more coming. We threw a huge tailgate party and caused a ruckus despite losing the game. We also had two of our members beat the shit out of three Jets fans who started shit with them. It was pretty amazing considering I have never seen a away fan win a fight at a football game, much less do it without getting arrested.

Aside from the invasion of the Meadowlands and our tailgate we also threw an event at Third & Long the day before. Nat Moore, a Miami Dolphins legend, came to our bar to watch football with us. He signed autographs and posed for pictures and talked football. I know 95% of you on this site don’t care about things like that but it was a really cool event for our group. The Miami Dolphins video crew even came to the event and filmed us for the Inside The Fins TV show that is shown ever week in Miami. (I am interviewed in Episode 8 if you want to do some digging.)

So let’s get these photos up and get back to your normally scheduled Driven By Boredom madness!

Click here to see Dolfans NYC takeover of Met Life Stadium vs. The New York Jets.

Click here to see the Dolfans NYC Nat Moore meet & greet at Third & Long.

Hey kids, meet Dylan Ryan! She was visiting from San Francisco and hit me up about taking some naked photos as every attractive woman should do immediately when arriving in NYC. I have pretty much run out of locations but when she said she would be in Ft. Greene before our shoot it made me think to hit up my old friend DJ VH1 who just happens to have an amazing apartment not so far from there. He was down and it worked out great because there was tons of stuff in his kitchen to play with.

Dylan is pretty hilarious so I put her in the sink and she started trying to eat carrots and hang upside down from his crazy spiral staircase. All of this was great and I am sure you will love all the photos… not because the photos are life changing but just because I know you guys like nudity. We have plenty of nudity here. NSFW of course.

So click here to see all the very exciting naked photos of Dylan Ryan hanging out in DJ VH1’s kitchen!