It has taken me nearly a week to even think about posting these photos. Last Monday my Miami Dolphins lost in the worst fashion I have ever seen. They lost by 27 points to the New England Patriots in a game they were winning on both offense and defense. Somehow in one game they had a punt blocked, a field goal blocked for a touch down and had a kick off returned for a touch down.  Add in a late interception for a touchdown and the game was a blow out despite the Dolphins pushing the Patriots around the whole game. I have never seen anything like it my life.  NFL Betting on something like that happening you would get 10000000000:1 odds.  It crippled me.  Luckily the Dolphins have bye week this week and I can take some time away from weeping in a corner of a sports bar because of fucking football. At least we have raised a bunch of money for charity this year.

Now despite the horrible loss, I did take  some pictures before this disaster befell us.  You should click here if you want to see the photos. And of course, if you are a New Yorker interested in watching Dolphins games with us you should click here.

So after one of the UIST events on Tuesday I headed over to Happy Endings for a minute and then over to the Blind Barber to congratulate Nicky Digital on a photo show he had that I missed. Then I went over to Gallery Bar for Rando but I ended out standing outside for most of the night. I was probably out there for 9o minutes or something before I even went in.  I met some Canadian babes, I did a mildy dirty photo shoot with Brian and some babes for Sex Cult Records and I complained about my new lens being too wide.  I went in for a bit and when I came out Indigo Augustine and Annika were out front and they made out on my car with their boobs out to bring this gallery a nice NSFW rating to end the night. Also, Alumni was in the house….

Click here too see all the very wide photos from Tuesday’s Rando at Gallery Bar.

I recently shot a couple of events for the 23rd Symposium on User Interface Software and Technology or UIST as the hip kids call it.  I can’t even begin to tell you what this is about, but I think it involves making computers work better.  At the awards show I asked a guy what he won a prize for and he explained it to me and I just blinked at him so he tried to dumb it down for me, and I still had no idea what he was talking about, so another guy dumbed it down for me a second time and I still have no idea what he won for.  I seriously have never felt dumber in my life.  That being said I was also the tallest person in the room and I gave a 20 min lecture on New York nightlife to a few people, so maybe we are even or something. Actually everyone I talked to was pretty awesome and the whole thing seemed very interesting if completely over my head.

The symposium lasts all day for several days and at night they have a party. I was hired to shoot three parties by the boyfriend of one of my earliest college chums. I couldn’t make the one on Monday night because I had to watch the worst football game I have ever seen in my life. I did shoot two events… the opening night reception at the New York Hall of Science in Queens and a mad science themed awards banquet at The Theater for the New City. Both of them had some pretty cool elements.

The opening night reception was in a big ugly room and people were just standing around eating and talking and I just walked around taking pictures of tech geeks eating. It seemed like it was going to be pretty boring until they made an announcement that the whole Hall of Science was open for us to play in.  It is a pretty fantastic science museum and we had the whole place to ourselves.  It is also amazing to watch computer programers discuss a science museum built for children. At one point I heard a woman say “Don’t ruin the magic!” when someone explained how one of the exhibits worked. I photographed everyone but I aslo got to play with stuff myself! I found out I can throw a baseball about 50mph which is pretty good for a guy who has a completely destroyed shoulder and throws like a girl now.  It was actually pretty embarrassing trying to throw a baseball for the first time in a decade. I can’t make a full rotation in my shoulder so a few of the balls went flying into the ground.  My high jumping skills were a bit better but I never got to try the arm wrestling machine… but I guess there is always next time.

On Tuesday night they had the awards banquet with amazing food and crazy blue drinks that bubbled when they put dry ice in it.  All the staff were wearing lab coats and there was a big chandelier made out of Laserdiscs. There was an open bar and everyone got pretty fun and they gave people all sorts of awards for things I could never conceptually grasp. The Theater for the New City is a pretty cool space on 1st Ave and it was cool to get a chance to check that out.  They did have an art show up while this was going on and there were some some relatively offensive art on the wall involving nudity, nazis and black face but no one seemed too offended… I ate four mini cannolis and a plate full of some dead meat so I was happy.  All and all a good night. I hope they have me back next year.

Anyway, I separated the images into two galleries.  Click here to see photos from the UIST opening reception at the New York Hall of Science and then click here to see the UIST awards banquet at the Theater for the New City.

Ps. These events made me realize that I hate my new wide angle lens. I apologize for weird flash issues and distortion at the edges of the shots.  Augh.

The Death Set wanted to do new press photos to go with their new upcoming album and they wanted the pictures to be with some naked tattooed babes.  Clearly they knew the right guy to ask to do the shoot.  I introduced the guys to former Suicide Girl and current Gods Girl Jasper Trash and Burning Angel and Driven By Boredom favorite Jessie Lee.  Let’s just say we all had a lot of fun.

The guys had two ideas for a shoot.  They wanted pictures of themselves under a girls legs, and they wanted to shoot some random hanging out shots on the roof.  It was all pretty easy and Jessie Lee has kinda an epic butt so she was perfect for the first shoot and the homies had a great roof to shoot on and we took pictures until the sun set.

This gallery is the edit I pulled for the guys so they could pick their best shots so I could do proper edits to the photos for their press kit, so there are a lot of the same photos over and over again.  Get over it. There are also some photos of a quality that I wouldn’t normally post, but I know I could fix them in PhotoShop if they loved the shot. The darker ones on the roof where the boys have tape over their eyes for example.  We didn’t really have enough light to shoot without flash but I know I could fix those if I wanted to spend the time on it so I threw them in the batch even though they are too dark. I think you can deal with that…

Anyway, these shots are really funny and pretty awesome and very NSFW.  And of course, you should click here to see pictures of The Death Set with two hot naked tattooed girls.

Ps. I have been posting outtakes from this and other fun shoots on my Tumblr and of course my Twitter. Get on that shit.

I feell like we just did one of these posts where I talk about bullshit you don’t care about and offer no content… Well it’s time already time to do it again. Sorry.

You may have noticed that I haven’t updated this site in several days.  There are three reasons for that.  The first and most important reason is that I was putting together a package for a watch advertisement that I am hopefully going to shoot this month.  I had to cast models and locations and then just put the damn thing together so that took up a lot of time.  Secondly, if you notice the last update was about Monday Night Football.  Well that MNF game was one of the most crippling moments of my life so I had to sleep all fucking day the next day an mourn for the Miami Dolphins. The last reason was because of camera issues.

As you may know I bought a new camera and a few other accessories. The Nikon D700 is an amazing camera and I thought it would inspire me to go out and shoot a lot, but the camera is actually so similar to my D300 that I actually didn’t feel the need to play with it that much.  It is much better in the dark, and it has a full frame sensor, but other than that for practical reasons its pretty much the same camera.  I also was waiting on my new lens to go with said camera (17-35mm 2.8).  When I got it I hated it. I shot two events with it and midway through the second one I realized it was WAY too wide for me. The distortion is awful and I just don’t feel right with it. On top of that I got it used and the lens sticks when you zoom and I missed a bunch of shots. I am going to try to return it, not because I hate it, but because it sticks and is in way worse condition that the ebay auction led me to believe. Unfortunately they are not responding to my emails and until I can get my money back I can’t buy a new lens. In the mean time I think I will be shooting with my fixed 20mm lens.

All that being said, I did shoot nearly 2000 photos since I talked to you guys last including two parties (Rando & Big Top), a Gods Girl, two corporate type events, and a bunch of press photos for The Death Set that featured some hot naked girls.  You will be psyched about the updates I have for you over the next few days.  I spent several hours editing the images down and they are almost ready to go, but in the mean time they are uploading and I am uploading images for clients and the whole thing is taking way too long so you get this super boring post about why they aren’t up yet.  But in just a few hours I will get up those Death Set pics and you will realize they are well worth the wait.

Since I have you all here I wanted to give a shout out to my boys Semi Precious Weapons who are in town tomorrow night at Irving Plaza. I am going to be there and I hope to see you fuckers out. You get a discount on tickets if you say “Semi Precious Trash” at the door.  I am not exactly sure what the discount is, but who gives a shit, you should be lucky you don’t have to pay $100 to see them at Madison Square Garden.

Also, if you are interested in online gambling for some reason you should look at this link. I had to write about that in order to cash a check. Sorry about that, but I gotta pay for these fucking new lenses and cameras and stuff. Don’t judge me. At least I tried to make it slightly funny right? Right?

What else can we talk about? Did you know I am listening to Elton John right now? What the fuck is up with that? I feel like I had something to talk to you about.  You could vote for my friend maybe? He is trying to win a car, in hilarious fashion, but I think the contest is going to be over by the time you read this. Hmm… We should plug my Tumblr again because there is always good shit going on over there even if I am not updating this site. Speaking of my Tumblr, yesterday I posted on there about how I paid someone $40 to sharpen a pencil for me. I love the idea of artisanal pencil sharpening plus the guy who did the sharpening (David Rees) was the guy responsible for one of the all time most fantastic comics, Get Your War On.  Speaking of…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nhYAOWEKxE&NR=1[/youtube]

Well guess what, I have no updates for you today. You know why? Because I care about professional football more than my job.  Pretty retarded right? Yeah. Seriously, if the Dolphins lose tonight it pretty much means our season is over by the first week of October and I can just go ahead and shoot myself now instead of suffering through another 13 weeks.  But then again if we win tonight it will be clear we are the greatest team to ever play the game of football and I will go out and have sex with the first stranger who looks at me the wrong way. Party forever.  Either way I am not doing any fucking work today so instead you get to watch these videos.

The first one is by this asshole Patriots fan Paul “Fitzy” Fitzgerald who I run into in real life once in a while. The guy is clearly some sort of commie bastard fuck but he seems pretty down on his Pats so I’ll take it.  The second video is the intro to the greatest Monday Night Football game ever played where the 1985 Bears lost their only game to Danny Marino and the Miami Dolphins. Yes I was too young to remember this game… but I do remember when the Wildcat embarassed the hell out of the Patriots who had not lost in 21 regular season games, so you get to watch that too.  Enjoy and fuck the Patriots, fuck Tom Brady and fuck Boston.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u24qIOzbyWY[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbaZyDJX-4A&feature=related[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5c4DKdxU9g&feature=related[/youtube]

Well evidently it’s already Sunday and for whatever reason I haven’t really updated in two days and I haven’t really taken any pictures.  Well, that is not actually the case. I have shot a few naked girls and I spent all Saturday taking photos of locations for a shoot I am doing for for a Swiss watch advertisement.  But I have admittedly been slacking a little bit.  Part of that is because I got a new camera and I was waiting for a new lens to arrive, but I got that lens and now it should be time to rock.

Let’s talk about the new camera.  I got a Nikon D700 so I finally have a full frame sensor which means I can take advantage of some better lenses which would be pointless with Nikon’s DX cameras, such as the 17-35 2.8 Wide Zoom lens I just got.  I am pretty excited about that thing although I don’t normally shoot that wide so my party photos might look pretty different from now on.  I got the lens used for about $700 less that it is new and it looks like it’s in pretty good shape other than some cosmetic damage.  Now, I know most of you aren’t camera geeks and you don’t give a shit about any of that.  All this should mean to you guys is that I will probably be using my flash a little left because the D700 with a 2.8fstop can pretty much shoot in the dark and it means that my shots will be a lot wider than you are used to. Also with sharper glass I won’t need to sharpen my images so that might effect the way they look as well. But I guess we will find out in time.  It also means that if you rob me walking home from a club you can pawn my camera for more now than you could have a week ago.

Okay, now that that’s out of the way I gotta plug a few projects that don’t directly have anything to do with me but are project that I sort of worked on and I figure I should promote them.

The first is the debut of the first half of the Ruffeo Hearts Lil Snotty (RHLS) movie called “**** CAN’T WAIT.. (ANY LONGER)”.  If the name sounds weird just wait till you see it.  RHLS is a super weird clothing company and the movie is sort of a video look book for their new line. It’s a stop motion animation featuring music by Das Racist producer LE1F and noise artist Driphouse. It stars Anna Barrie from These Are Powers.  I shot three or four scenes of the 8 part series but they haven’t edited my parts yet so they won’t be in the first half of the video. But you should watch it anyway so when you see my parts it will make sense (it won’t make sense).  Anyway, the video debuts on Monday at 10PM on the World Wide Internet.  For all the details check out this magical Facebook invite.

The second thing I need to plug is a porn film. Classy right?  Well several years ago I met a guy in Las Vegas named Joe Gallant.  We had a mutual friend and we hit it off and I partied with him one night at some crazy fetish party after the AVN Awards.  At the time he was living in NYC and when he needed some people to play paparazzi in a porn film he was making about celebrity vampires he asked me to be in the movie.  The film was called Hell’s Kittens and I am an extra in it for about 2 seconds. You can see the back of my head and my camera and briefly hear my voice.  Pretty exciting. After the scene was over Joe asked me if I wanted to come back and hang out on set where they shot actual porn scenes.  I had never seen a porn being shot so I figured I couldn’t pass this opportunity up. I hung out for one evening of shooting and shot a bunch of behind the scenes shots.  Anyway, the production company that made the film folded before the movie was ever released and the only reason I even got to see it was because Joe hooked me up with a bootleg copy when I ran into him in Vegas last January.  I figured that would be the end of it until Joe emailed me a few days ago to let me know that the film had been released after all under Club Jenna in May.  He asked me to do a little plug for it on my site to get some press as they gear up for awards season.  So yeah, check out my old photos from Hell’s Kittens (NSFW) and read this write up on the release of the film.

Lastly, totally unrelated to anything I just got back some 1600 ISO black and white film that I shot recently. I posted one of the shots today on my Tumblr but I shot a few pictures at parties so I figured I would show you some of what my party pictures would look like if I was shooting nothing but black and white film all the time…

More than a year ago I shot this lovely lady Lilith Le Snob. She is a rad girl and I liked a bunch of the shots but for some reason, I never put up the photos. Part of the reason was because I was because my white balance was off and I didn’t want to color correct them. I figured I would do it at some point and I just never did. And then I got lucky! A guy named Ken Bachor emailed me asking if he could do some Photoshop work for me. At first I couldn’t think of anything I needed and then I remembered these images and thanks to him, here they are much, much later.

I shot two sets of her, this first one was shot in the basement of Darkroom.  It was taken so long ago that Mike Nouveau was still DJing there at the time. The second one we shot in my living room. There were some great shots in the living room shoot but Lilith doesn’t want shots of her naked on the internet anymore so I couldn’t put any of the good ones up Anyway, these were taken a long time ago so I don’t really have too much to say about them.

Click here to see all the pictures of Lilith Le Snob from the basement of Darkroom.

Update: In the year since we took these pictures Lilith has stopped doing nude modeling and asked me to take the fully topless photos down. What a fucking bummer right? It’s going to take me a couple hours to take them down, so if they are still up while you are reading this, enjoy them while you can. Augh.