Update – 5.19.09: Okay.  Got the galleries working.  Photos are below.  You can ignore the top paragraph that was written two days ago.

From 5.17.08: So I don’t have the pictures yet. I have to ONCE AGAIN rebuild my whole fucking gallery. 19 hours left. I am very frustrated with this. I am back from break, but with nothing to show for it. Anyway, I already forgot what happened earlier this week so I wanted to get this post out before I forget what a weird fucking night I had. When I DO get the photos up, I will bump this post to the top of the page and add pictures.

Okay. So I get off of work from my first 40 hour work week in about a year. Fun. Then I come home, do some shit, and go back out. I am heading over to Webster Hall to see MSTRKRFT and LA Riots who I met with and hung out with at SXSW and Winter Music (note MSTRKRFT’s myspace default). I wanted to say what’s up and I wanted to talk to Jesse from MSTRKRFT about this project I am working on/this thing he told me about in Miami. When I got there I had to deal with this insane hassle and these two idiots in front of me trying to get in for free. I finally got in and said “I am on Alex list. My name is Igor.” They gave me a ticket and I moved on into a second room where I was to get a to let me into the event. These dudes were still in front of me and they told the wrist band person that they were Igor’s plusses on Alex’s list. It was sort of insane, but I just walked past them, but then I had to go back to get the wrist band. And I saw some girl that I dug a while ago who stopped returning my calls and she was with a guy and it was slightly awkward. When I finally got in it was insanely packed and MSTRKRFT were just going on. I watched them for a bit, but it was just to crowded and I hate not being able to move, and I can’t get around and it is fucking frustrating. So I was about to leave and I ran into my friend and he was like “just go up stairs, it is way better up there”. So I tried to, and they wouldn’t let me up without a VIP thing. And I couldn’t get one for whatever reason so I just fucking left and went to Trash. I am not sure why I would want to go to a party when all of my friends are a flight above me.

I took some photos and was saying goodbye when someone grabbed me and showed me this big lummox lying passed out in one of the booth and people had decorated him in cake frosting from Amber Star’s birthday cake. They told me to take a picture. I did and this white trash hillbilly Obelix looking motherfucker grabbed the butter knife that was used to cut the caked and put it to my throat and started yelling at me about taking his picture. This dude was way bigger than me, but I was so shocked that he would put a knife to my neck I just started saying “Did you just put a fucking knife to my neck?” To which he replied “no” and tried to hid the knife cause all these people were gathered around. Meanwhile I have icing all over my neck and his friend is trying to separate us. I just told him I was going to call the cops. I have never called the cops on anyone in my life, and I was not going to start now, but I grabbed the bouncer to get him and his redneck friends thrown out, but by the time I got him, they had run into the back or something. I just said fuck it and left. On the way to my car I saw this guido screaming at some girl about how she cheated on him… and then… he punched her in the fucking face. His Gotti-Tan wearing friends grabbed him and he threatened to punch them. The girls ran off.

I like to think that I am in a good place in my life. Because if I was a few years younger and dumber I probably would have had my ass kicked twice in one night. Once by two butter knife wielding rednecks and then again by three woman beating guidos. I think part of that is living in NYC and seeing so much crazy shit, you just start minding your own business. At some point I would have gone after that guy when I saw him hit the girl, but now I am just like “Only in New York! :)”

Also, there must be something in the air, because on the way home I drove past this guy holding his face covered in fucking blood. I assume he just had a bloody nose, but he looked like a fucking horror movie. Also several of his friends who were carrying him were splattered in blood as well. I was like two seconds from stopping the car and trying to get a photo, but that seemed like a bad idea.

Anyway, just a crazy fucked up night. Check out the pre-knifing photos.

Fuck count: 10… um 11.

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