Oh wait, no.  That is just one of the many lovely celebrity porn related keywords my keyword algorithm program recommends.  It never tells me to blog about anything interesting…  just Meg White Sex Video this and Pam Anderson Sex Tape that.  I still get comments every week about the nude Vanessa Hudgens photo I posted months ago.  Anyway, I just needed a subject heading.

This post is actually about how I am not going to be posting anything today.  I am dealing with a full band staying with me and trying to find practice space and bullshit like that.  Then just now we get a call saying that our show on Friday is canceled and everyone took a week off of work for one day of rock music.  So I am pretty depressed so I am either going to sleep or going to the movies.  I have Gaskets photos from last night, but I would have tried harder if I knew they were the only ones I was going to be shooting.  We still have a thing on Friday at Trash, but that might be a bit up in the air if Teddy tries to go back to work tomorrow.  We shall see.

So yeah. I’ll be back tomorrow.  Oh and also because of this I am going to get to go to Adult Drawing on Friday and so Saturday I’ll have a bunch of naked girls for you to ogle at.

Here is a video of a funny horse.

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=onsyPYKheFI[/youtube]

My friend Joe AKA Joe Fuck Yourself asked me to come shoot the party he was hosting.  I have some people I know at Sup Mag and I am in love with Lauren Flax so of course I had to say yes.  The place was bumping for most of the night.  After people drank 100 cans of free Sparks in under 4 minutes people started to drift out a little bit.  The CMJ crowd I think is not used to partying all night like us dance party fiends.  But, what can you do.  It was till crazy until way after 2AM.  I took a shit ton of photos and I think they came out well.  I also decided I have to talk less about shit going on in my personal life because it is getting me in trouble.  So thats that, fun party, no drama and no mention of the insanely cute girl I met who then made me come to Skinny with her but then she disappeared without saying goodbye and left me with her friends but then invited me via text to see Bridget Bardot movies with her at MOMA.  None of that.  Check the photos.

Here are the photos I took last week at High Voltage of what has yet to be confirmed Clay Aiken.  I spent about 20 min googling photos of Clay trying to figure it out and I came to the conclusion that it was in fact him, but I really don’t know for sure.  Can anyone give us a positive yes or no?  I mean… do you know this dude?  Do you know Clay Aiken?  Does anyone care?  Anyway, High Voltage is tonight.  You should go to it and stalk whatever celeb is going to be there, but first come to R Bar on Bowery and Rivington and support the worlds famous Gaskets with me.  They go on right at 9PM and I will buy you a pony if you show up.  Here are the photos. Click each picture of Clay to download a free Gaskets song!

This is a good idea.  I can’t tell you how many times I have walked a block in the wrong direction coming out of a Subway station.  Even in DC where I spent the first 22 years of my life I did the same thing.  When I come out of the 8th ave L, I come out a different hole every time and I have no fucking clue which way to walk.  In the article people complain that no one is going to notice them, but if they were everywhere people would know to look for them and they would look down before getting slightly lost.  I don’t know, it makes a lot of sense to me.  What do you think?

Here is a press release that I wrote for the Gaskets. You guys need to read it carefully, it is of great importance. Thanks.

Gaskets Things Of Note In Preparation Of A NYC Take Over To Begin 10.17.07

1. The Gaskets Are Playing CMJ… 3.2 Times.
a. CMJ Showcase: October 17th, Wednesday, 9PM, @ R Bar
b. Blender After Party: October 18th (Wednesday night), 12:30AM @ Gramercy Theater
c. Blender After Party: October 20th (Friday night), 12:30AM @ Gramercy Theater
d. Teddy is going to be performing one song Friday night at Rififi around 2AM. This is going to be sort of an after party for us. We will be giving out free DVDs as soon as we make it over from the Gramercy show.
All these shows require a CMJ pass except the party at Rififi (1st ave and 11th). Also the R-Bar show you can buy tickets to, but I am not sure how much they are.

2. The Gaskets website has been completely redone. The site is a work in progress an we will be updating it constantly over the CMJ week. We have switched to a new blog format which will be less about promoting our band and more about what we are doing and what our friends are doing creatively. We will be working with friends and artists to keep our site ever changing and consistently more than just a website to sell the band; we will leave that up to the MySpace.

3. The Gaskets MySpace page has been redesigned and now features demos and live recordings of new songs.

4. The Gaskets finally got some new T-Shirts. The shirts are printed on American Apparel T’s and are available in grey/blue and brown/white. They are available in both men’s and woman’s cut shirts.

5. Did we mention that the Gaskets now have a drummer, guitarist and bassist? Yup, that’s right the Gaskets are a 5 piece. This is going to be a very different, yet still insane, Gaskets. They have played two shows going into CMJ and have been sounding amazing.

6. Don’t believe us? Listen for yourself. We have uploaded a full set of Gaskets songs performed just two weeks ago in Richmond, VA.

7. The Gaskets are releasing a new video directed by Lena Dunham the first week of each month for 6 months starting with October. You can check out the first video here.

Thanks for reading this. We have a lot in store for the world and we are looking forward to getting back into the studio to work on our next album.

Much Love,

Gaskets.

I did not have a good time tonight. It proved to be a perfect example of why I am largely a failure with women despite having what some might call an “envious lifestyle”. The night pulled together three girls that are shining examples of my fucked-upness. First we had my exgirlfriend there. Then there was the girl I mentioned the other day who I like but probably wants nothing to do with me. I am sure that blogging about her every day is really fucking helping. Jesus. I think one of the main problems where she is concerned is that girls that I am not into, I am very good with, but then I meet this girl who seems amazing and I get dumb and off guard and fuck things up. I don’t know how to act when I am not just trying to get a blow job. Then we have girl number three who before she left the country for two weeks I was hanging out with every day. I dig this girl a lot, like possible relationship type deal, and I was so excited to see that she was back in town. We were making out in a dark corner somewhere all cute and lovely like and then I made fun of her for no reason. I tried to explain that that is just how I am and she needs to just get used to my humor. She explained to me that that is not how she is and how she wants nothing to do with me from now on. Fuck. I am sure part of the reason that I am such a fuck up is because I crush on three girls at once and I allow myself to be in a situation where I have to deal with all of them. A friend told me last night “I treat this scene as a business. I never date girls in here because having drama like you are dealing with can fuck everything up.” For me, this is only partially a business, this shit is supposed to be fun, but he has a point. I don’t need drama like this in my life and I should meet people who don’t party 24/7, but I don’t know where to start looking. I don’t even have a library card.

Because of this drama I left early and only took 50 pictures. What you see is what you get.

PS. This post is dedicated to this guy, because he was the only positive part of my night and I think he will enjoy this rant.

My friend Janiki is a moron. Benny is not so brilliant either. Benny getting a video camera was probably a bad idea. Benny gave me a tape full of him smashing pumpkins on his head, harassing girls outside of comedy bars, stealing road signs and general shenanigans… but the real reason he gave me this tape was so I could put up this insane video. This is probably the best thing I have ever put on YouTube. Watch it, then tell your friends. Whatever happens spread the word. Shit like this only exists on the internet. Jesus fucking Christ. Make sure you watch the whole thing as the beginning is sort of boring.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmgIeq3SSuA[/youtube]

Update: Here is an edited version which just shows the good part…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdrSKXrHESw&eurl=http://www.drivenbyboredom.com/[/youtube]

I’ll be taking photos, you should come dance.

CHICAGO—In what is being called the first conceptual terrorist attack on American soil, the landmark Sears Tower was encased in 18 million tons of strawberry gelatin early Tuesday morning, leaving thousands shocked, angry, and seriously confused.

This is no laughing matter.  These conceptual terrorists have gone too far.  This is an outrage.  We need to take to the art schools with torches.  Someone has to pay for this.  It is time to bomb the Lower East Side and most of San Fransisco.   Bush should not rest until Christo has been brought to justice.  His umbrellas have already killed.  We must find the weapons of mass confusion.  WAKE UP AMERICA.  Our freedom has a price.  We need to cut funding in arts programs to pay for military strikes against… well… art programs.  We have reached a cyan alert people! CYAN!