I did not have a good time tonight. It proved to be a perfect example of why I am largely a failure with women despite having what some might call an “envious lifestyle”. The night pulled together three girls that are shining examples of my fucked-upness. First we had my exgirlfriend there. Then there was the girl I mentioned the other day who I like but probably wants nothing to do with me. I am sure that blogging about her every day is really fucking helping. Jesus. I think one of the main problems where she is concerned is that girls that I am not into, I am very good with, but then I meet this girl who seems amazing and I get dumb and off guard and fuck things up. I don’t know how to act when I am not just trying to get a blow job. Then we have girl number three who before she left the country for two weeks I was hanging out with every day. I dig this girl a lot, like possible relationship type deal, and I was so excited to see that she was back in town. We were making out in a dark corner somewhere all cute and lovely like and then I made fun of her for no reason. I tried to explain that that is just how I am and she needs to just get used to my humor. She explained to me that that is not how she is and how she wants nothing to do with me from now on. Fuck. I am sure part of the reason that I am such a fuck up is because I crush on three girls at once and I allow myself to be in a situation where I have to deal with all of them. A friend told me last night “I treat this scene as a business. I never date girls in here because having drama like you are dealing with can fuck everything up.” For me, this is only partially a business, this shit is supposed to be fun, but he has a point. I don’t need drama like this in my life and I should meet people who don’t party 24/7, but I don’t know where to start looking. I don’t even have a library card.

Because of this drama I left early and only took 50 pictures. What you see is what you get.

PS. This post is dedicated to this guy, because he was the only positive part of my night and I think he will enjoy this rant.

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