So being a huge Sean Of The Dead fan, I was very excited to see Hot Fuzz. It did not disappoint. The film was very funny all the way through and had some of the best comic violence I have ever seen in a movie. I liked Sean Of The Dead more, but I am a much bigger zombie fan than an action fan. Both films are directed and co written by Edgar Wright, co written and starring Nick Frost, and starring Simon Pegg. Now these three also worked together on the TV show Spaced, which you can see a lot of on YouTube. Infact, that is what I am doing right now. So, instead of doing an actual review of Hot Fuzz, I am just going to link the first episode of Spaced. So enjoy it, I did… although I am looking forward to more Simon Pegg in the upcoming episodes.

This has been posted all over the internet, but people keep sending this to me, so I might as well post it in case you haven’t seen this. It is pretty funny, but like I said, it has been posted all over. Keep all nooses away from my nuts. But yeah, I’d fuck her, and her MILF of a mother.

Last Friday I was trying to go see Hot Fuzz, but no one would go with me. I kept planning on going, but I kept putting it off because I wanted to find someone to go with. Then out of nowhere I get a call from this girl I had not seen since I first moved to NYC. She was the first girl I met that I really liked, despite the fact that I met her after taking photos of her tits at Rated X. Anyway, we got a long real well, until I called her like 5 times in an hour. The thing was I thought her phone was off, but somehow she got all my calls anyway. So she stopped talking to me. Then Friday she calls; weird. So I ask her to Hot Fuzz. We go, it’s great. (review coming soon?) Anyway after the movie I convince her to Trash with me. Unfortunately when we get there the cops have the place shut down. They aren’t letting anyone in. So we go grab some food. We get a long really great and stuff and I am all crushing on her, but she has to go home. She goes home, and I go back to Trash.

At Trash there is almost no one there. I say hi to this girl I met the week before. She sort of rudely cuts me off, so I go about my night. I take some pictures, have an awkward conversation with Dave Attell, and talk to some friends. I get bored quickly and decide to leave. I say good bye to a friend of mine and he is kissing this girl. I talk to her for a minute and she demands I take photos of her making out with her friend, who happens to be the girl who blew me off earlier. Anyway, they make out and take some pictures. And then some other girls make out, and there is some boob licking and such. Anyway two of the girls leave, and I am left with the other two. If I am being sort of vague and confusing it is because presumably all these girls are going to read this. So like I said, I am left with two of the girls. I hit on them both a little bit and try to get them to come back to my place. They have to work in the morning, no they aren’t into it. We walk to the L train and I have my hand on both of their asses. At some point I kiss one, and then the other. A bunch of hispanic thugs walk by and start yelling shit about how I was the man and how they had never seen anything like that. I just told them thats how I rolled and continued making out with the girls, although it was very awkward with these guys standing over us. So the girls told me they would come back to my place some other time and we got on the subway. They were going towards 8th ave, and I was going to Brooklyn so we were across from each other. I somehow convinced them if I pulled my balls out, that they would show me their boobs. So I pulled my balls out in front of this woman sitting near me. The girls laughed and faked on the boob showing until their train came and one of them flashed me. So, I went home alone, but I did see two boobs, from two different people and I made out with two girls at the same time, so I guess that counts as a decent night out. Enjoy the photos, maybe you can figure out who is who. For their sakes, I hope not.

Whilst I was in DC, I had to stop by the original Five Guys location. Actually, it is the second one, but the original is gone, so whatever. It has been there since 1988, so that is good enough. The thing is, I grew up about 2 miles from this location and I feel I have been going there all my life. Five Guys has now spread all over the east coast and it is beloved everywhere, but since they are from my hometown of Alexandria, VA, I hold a special place in my heart for them. So, if you have not been to Five Guys, you are missing out. Five Guys is a fast food place, but the food does not taste like it. No, it is not like In and Out Burger. I have been there, it does not compare. The burger I had today at Five Guys was easily better than any burger I have ever had at any place that is not Five Guys. Think of the best burger you have ever had in your life. Now imagine that it tastes better, costs less than 5 dollars and is ready in 10 minutes. That is Five Guys. This is their entire menu:

Bacon Cheeseburger, Cheesburger, Hamburger

Little Bacon Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger, Hamburger

Large Fries, Large Cajun Fries, Small Fries, Small Cajun Fries

Hot Dog, Grilled Cheese, Fountain Drink (one size)

The regular burgers come with 2 patties, the little ones come with one. The most expensive is $5.49 and you can get a grilled cheese for 2 dollars.  The small fries are more than you can possibly eat. I dare you to get a large, 4 people wouldn’t finish them. Seriously, get on it. Five guys is the best place in the world and they give you free peanuts when you wait in line.

In my last post I mentioned that I did not get to Lit until late. Well that is because I was at Hiro shooting Cheeky Bastard. My friend Leah showed up with the guys from Human Giant. That is them below. I think my next interview on here will probably be with Aziz Ansari. (Below Left) Anyway, check the photos out.

Here are the photos from NC-17 at Lit.  I got there real late so I didn’t get a lot.  Still, I had a lot of fun and got some decent shots I think.

The dog I grew up with is very very old. I stopped by my parents house to pick up my car before I drove to Richmond yesterday. I took that opportunity to take some photos of my dog since I don’t know how much longer he will be around. He was very uncooperative, but I like this photo. He belongs on Cute Overload. Maybe I will submit him.

PS. I am watching the Red Sox/Yankees game at a place with internet, so I might get photos up tonight.

So I am in VA for a Gaskets show and then in DC to meet with Greenland to shoot some photos for their record and to talk to them about releasing it under the Driven By Boredom umbrella.  Whatever the case I am going to be helping them release their record in some way.  It is very good.  Anyway, I am going to be gone until Tuesday, but Monday I will be staying at my parents house so I should be able to update then.  I have photos from Hiro, Lit and Trash to go up, with whatever I take in the next three days.  Anyway, here is a couch in my neighborhood.  I thought it was pretty dope.

Here is the other post I wanted to share with you from my short lived 2.0 version.  That is pretty much all that the site was good for.  As you can see this article was written when I was living in Richmond and going to NYC all the time… now it is the other way around.  In fact, I am going to Richmond tomorrow for a Gaskets show.  If you live there, you should come to the Canal Club tomorrow night.  Right Right, on to the pennies.

—–

A few months ago on a trip to NYC from Richmond, VA I stopped off at one of the two rest stops in Maryland along 95. The northern most rest stop is called the Chesapeake House. This wonderful place is full of not only wonder but also over priced food, key chains and penny crushing machines. For those of you not familiar with said machines, they are these boxes that if you put in two quarters and a penny, they will take the penny and squish it for you. They give you four options for the image they stamp on the flattened penny. Usually these range from tourist locations (Statue of Liberty, Washington Monument), local flavor (State bird, local sports team), to the completely unrelated (bible quotes, dinosaurs). Anyway, I was looking for interesting pennies for a friend of mine who collects these things, when I came upon a machine that just blew my mind. The options were 1. Maryland State Flower, 2. Maryland Crab, 3. Baltimore Orioles Baseball, 4. Frank Zappa. Yeah, that’s right. Frank Zappa. Evidently, Frank Zappa was born in Baltimore, MD. (I always thought he was from CA.) Someone, I can’t imagine who, but someone thought it would be a great idea to put him on a penny. Now, I have to mention that I have never been much of a Frank Zappa fan. In fact, I can not name a single Zappa song. That being said, I was so amazed at the god damned hi-larity of this penny that I had to get one.

A few weeks later I was over at my friend Dylan’s house. His girlfriend (who is also a friend and also lives in this aforementioned house) had just received a box of records from her uncle. We were going through these records when I came across the T-Rex album, Electric Warrior (8 out of 10). For some reason they did not want to part with it, despite not being T-Rex fans. I offered to buy it but they refused. Anyway, we kept looking through the records when Dylan said “I wish there were some Zappa records in here.” I knew that was my chance… I quickly pulled out my trusty Zappa penny and traded it to him for the record. Everyone was happy but I was once again Zappaless.

So, last weekend I was driving to NYC again and I happened to stop in the same rest stop to eat some Roy Rogers fried chicken (Roy’s gets a 7 out of 10, but fried chicken gets a 17 out of 10 because fried chicken is the greatest food ever conceived.) So when I realized I was at the Zappa penny stop I quickly emptied my pockets of change and left that stop with not one, not three, but 5 Zappa pennies. I am now, as they say on the street, Zappa rich. Next time I go to NYC I am going to bring a quarter roll and a bunch of nice shiny pennies. I want to have 50 of these things or something so that when ever I want something I can try to barter for it with Zappa pennies. It is pretty clear to me that these pennies are worth far more than 51 cents and I am going to corner the market.

Final Score: I give the Zappa penny a 5 Zappa Penny score out of a Zappa Nickel.