So I used to blog about my sex life a little bit on here, but it started getting me in trouble so I backed off.  I decided talking about that was not worth the grief.  However, since I will never see this girl again, and since I did the responsible thing in the end, I will tell you a tale.  Please skip to the final paragraph if you do not want to read this reasonably misogynistic story.

So last night (Tuesday) I had one of the best dates of my life and maybe for a few minutes on the way home I contemplated what life would be like not single.  I thought that I was going to get to see her again tonight (Wednesday) but I had no such luck.  I was just going to go home and work on this website, but I heard LA Riots were going to be at Arlo and Esme so I decided to take a few photos.  Around three I am getting ready to leave when I get a text from my friend Shwazye who is in town promoting his new record.  I meet him over at Beatrice around 3:30.  After looking around for a bit, I realize that I don’t know anyone there.  I never go to Beatrice because they won’t let you take photos in there, and I don’t really see a reason to go out if I can’t take photos.  Anyway, I was trying to talk to Shwazye but he seemed busy with this insanely hot light skinned black girl.  I let him be and started dancing a bit.  Moments later he sort of points this girl at me and she just starts dancing with me.  She kisses me almost at once without saying a word.  For a second I am convinced that she is a prostitute or something.  She had the biggest softest lips I had ever seen.  She kept trying to get me to grind my crotch on to her.  She kept bending over and I didn’t really know what to do.  She was pretty much nothing but tits and ass and I sort of wanted to do horrible things to her, but I was sort of bewildered to what the hell was going on.  I asked her if she was okay and she just said “I am fucked up.”  She sat down and pulled me on top of her.  Her scrap of a dress kept riding up and she was spreading her legs and just sort of rubbing herself.  These people next to us were so confused, and I just looked at them like “What the hell is going on?” I turn to Shwazye who meanwhile is with his own lady friend, and he just starts laughing and tells her to suck my dick.  She snaps back “I don’t do that!” and then proceeds to rub her giant boobs all over my face while I am laughing.  Her boobs kept coming out of her dress but at this point no one is looking.  It is when she sits in my lap and spreads her legs and puts them over my shoulder and starts clamping her legs around my head that people start looking.  She is just smacking me in the head with her thighs and pretty much everyone in the place is staring at us, and I am just looking at them bewildered.  At this point she hasn’t even told me her name despite my attempts at finding out.  Everyone just starts clapping and hooting.  She asks me to take her home with me.  I told her that despite how insanely hot she was, that she was far too drunk for me to take her home.  I needed to get out of there though.  Shwazye was leaving so I tried to go, but she could barely stand and I couldn’t figure out who she was with so I helped her down the stairs and into the street.  She kept wanting to smoke weed with me, but I told her I didn’t smoke.  She sort of started crying a little bit and the she would start laughing.  I eventually got her a cab and when I put her inside she just kept telling me that she loved me.  I sort of think I loved her too.  I gave her my card and told her “If you remember any of this, call me one day.” and I walked away.  I still don’t know her name. Shwayze took some pictures, maybe I will share them one day.

Okay, now that yarn has been woven, let’s get into some site news.  As you may have noticed, updates have been scant, but that does not mean I have not been working.  I have been working on this video project with DayRobber and we are just about done with three pilot episodes that we are going to be pitching to advertisers.  If someone signs on, then these videos are going to go live once a week or something.  I have spent the last three days getting more videos for the next batch of episodes.  So if you see me out this week, tell me an amazing story on camera and maybe you will make the cut.  I have some updates in the works, like the photos from tonight and some Krames press shots that were never published.  Nothing too exciting, but fuck, I am busy.  Hire me for something so I can quit my day job.  Also, I might be looking for a roommate starting in October, but I probably don’t want it to be you.  Lastly, this video is amazing, I have been wanting a reason to post it, so thanks to this contentless update, it is yours.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMZfdCkYPig[/youtube]

Of all the sponsors of the SXSW event my favorite had to be Sukiyaki Western: Django. It is the new movie from one of my all time favorite directors Takashi Miike. It is a Japanese remake of Django which is an Italian remake of Yojimbo which is ironically a Japanese film. Yojimbo is a bad ass Akira Kurosawa film that has been remade into a bunch of bad ass movies including Fist Full Of Dollars and the highly underrated Bruce Willis film Last Man Standing. Also Django was directed by one of my other favorite directors Sergio Corbucci who is one of the most brutal directors ever. The scene in Reservoir Dogs where they cut the cops ear of is taken directly from the original Django. Anyway, I could not be more excited about this movies existence.

Anyway, the point is, this movie sponsored the event, and what they did was bring in like 100 squirt guns and it seemed like a great idea until the whole Elk Lodge where they were holding the event got covered in water and everyone started running around slipping on everything and crashing into everyone and then the cops had to come because the injury liabilities would be out of control and then people wouldn’t give up the guns and then people got kicked out and Lisa D’Amato filled up the gun with vodka and was squirting everyone in the eyes and it was amazing and madness and great. Anyway, I think the best pictures I took the whole time I was in Austin was of this squirt gun fight so I saved them for last. Check them out.

So the main reason I was hired to cover this event in Texas was to get pictures of bands and notable people standing in front of a wall. These are called product walls or “step and repeat” walls. These photos are then sent to the sponsors for marketing purposes and such.  I did this at Sundance and I am doing it again in Miami.  It is not the most creative photography, but it is actually pretty fun.

Anyway, there are roughly 10,000 bands in these photos and you can figure out who they are for yourself.

Shwayze is Cisco Adler, Dj Skeet Skeet and a dude appropriately named Shwayze. I met Shwayze and Cisco at Sundance this year and got a long with them better than any of the other celebs I had to take pictures of. I was glad to see them on the bill at SXSW. They remembered me and we took a bunch of photos and hung out in the little VIP area. I got to see them play this time and they were actually pretty awesome. I will defiantly be checking them out next time they come to NYC. Also… Skeet and I seem to have a lot of friends in common. I can’t place where but I know I have run into that dude before.

Check out their live shots here.

Okay… so here is the beginning. I went to South By Southwest in Austin, TX to shoot the Dim Mak, BPM Magazine, Magnum PR, Sansa Playground. It was a three day event at an Elk Lodge. There were tons of weird things going on and all sorts of musicians hanging out. I have like 15 updates worth of photos to give you. I can’t put them all up because some are going to magazines and papers and things and there are exclusives and blah blah blah. So far I can give you all the bands that aren’t Hanson and Shwazye. I am also leaving out a few other bands that are getting their own galleries. Today you also get the DJs, but you can see that next post. Here is the thing… I shot so many bands, and there were so many different schedules printed that I really have no idea who was who. So I am just going to give you a list of bands that may or may not be featured in this gallery. If you notice someone missing, let me know.

Pink Enemy
Von Bondies
The Whip
Switches
The Rascals
The Deadly Syndrom
World War
Happy Hallows

There are clearly other bands in these photos, but I am not sure what is what. Sorry.

I spent all day trying to organize these photos and send bunch of different versions of all my photos to different people for different things. I don’t even know.

So here they are, check them all out, and keep coming back for more South By Southwest photos every day for the next week.

So I sort of explained this gifting lounge thing.  Celebs come in, and they talk to people about their products, then if they are famous enough, they get free products.  And then they hold up their product and I take pictures.  Our lounge was off the main street so we didn’t get anyone too exciting, but they were all surprisingly nice and listened to everyones rants.  We had Faune Chambers who is in epic movie and had a film in the festival with Brad Pitt called The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.  We had Cisco Adler and Shwayze who were on tour together.  Shwazye and I have the same watch and we talked about shoes for a while.  Those guys were pretty much the only celebs I met that I figured I would hang out with in real life.  What is funny is that they were at the Cinespace party I shot last week, but they didn’t show up in any of my shots.  Those guys also showed up with Simon Rex, he was that guy who got fired from Mtv for doing gay porn.  Pretty exciting.  Lastly very late in the day a woman named Emily Wagner who is best known for her role as Doris Pickman on ER.  Check all of them out, holding stuff, here.