For 17 years of my life I lead a miserable pain of a life.  I got my ass kicked nearly every day leading up to high school, and now I was fat.  I was the only "punk" in my school and one of the few people who had this "internet thing" people were talking about.  Every girl at school treated me like shit, but at least the guys were afraid of me.  When I showed up to homecoming with a bunch of thugs in spikes, everyone kinda backed off me.  Anyway, the point was, I was a piece of shit, and most importantly, I, like you, had never kissed a girl.  Until I met this punk rock chick by the name of Tessa.  

I hooked up with her a few times, but she was really more in to my best friend.  But I adored this chick, I was crushed when she started dating my best friend. One day I she finished off a 40 and was looking for sex, my boy wasn't around so she called me.  Personally, I wanted something a little more romantic in losing my virginity, but I sure as hell wasn't going to pass up a blow job.  So I showed up at her house, with no remorse for my best friend (the fucker stole my girl, I was going to get her back), and went back to her room.  The girl takes off her clothes immediately and starts sucking me off, I was thinking how much it kicked ass, but I kinda felt guilty for doing this to my friend.  She then decides she is going to get laid.  I refused.  Their was no way I was loosing my virginity like this.  However, the naked, love of your life happens to be quite convincing, and after she physically grabbed my cock and put it in side her, I kinda gave up hoping for that romantic moment.  I felt so shitty I eventually pulled out and just went home, bitter as fuck, wishing it never happened.  A week later my best friend found out and she told him I raped her.  She also told half of my town about it and about 50 kids were out to kill me.  It was of the shittiest things that ever happened to me and my biggest regret to this day.... but it wasn't the last time sex kicked me in the ass.

So what could be worse than that?  Nothing, but about a year later some pretty nasty shit happend.  I was dating some girl for about two months, but at the same time I had a huge crush on another girl, we will call her, Corin.  So my girlfriend decides she wants to break up with me when I got to college.  This sucked, but what am I gonna do, I was going to be 5 hours from her, fuck it I said.  So we were suppose to break up the day I went to college, which sucked, because I was trying to get with Corin, but what the fuck, I didn't care that much. So the day I went to college I was saying good bye to all my friends.  I went over to Corin's house and started talking to her.  She sat on the bed behind me rubbing my back.  After a few minutes she took off her shirt, and eventually her bra.  I wasn't cheating, she wasn't doing anything that bad... right?  Besides, my girl was breaking up with me in a matter of hours.  Well she got me quite hard, and begged to see my cock, so I whipped it out, I still figured it wasn't cheating right?  I mean she wasn't touching me or anything... Well one thing lead to another, and I was on top of this girl fucking her.  We didn't kiss, we didn't hold each other we just fucked.  It was terrible sex.  We both felt shitty about what we were doing and the girl was loose like the Grand Canyon.... or so I thought.  It turns out she was just bleeding horribly, over me, over her and all over the bed.  She just kinda "forgot" to tell me she was on the rag.  I almost started puking.  I just ran to the bathroom, washed myself off, then got the fuck out of there...  I didn't even hug her.  That would be the last time I ever cheat on a girl.  Karma is a bitch.

Speaking of Karma.  I dated a girl off and on for about two years.  I never even thought about cheating on her.  I fucking loved her... but she decided she would cheat on me 4 times.  It was fucking great!! The first time was about a week after she asked me out.  Then again a few weeks after she told me she loved me.  But the third time was the best!! She had a 3 some with my exgirlfriend and a guy she met last night!! HAHA!! WHAT A FUCKING WHORE!!!

Anyway, I am getting a bit loopy so I am going to just mention one other shitty thing that has happened to me.  And this one is going to get me in trouble.  What kinda man bitches about having a 3 some?  Well I am about to do it.  Bitching about this is as valid as bitching about how my penis is too big, its just not going to fly... but here it goes anyway.  An exgirlfriend's sister and I were hanging out all summer. We were being real flirty, but not really doing anything because she had a boyfriend.  So she decided to hook me up with one of her friends to get me off of her back, and it kinda worked.  I really dug this girl and we hit it off really.  One day I had a party and after it was all over their was 4 of us left.  The girl I was hooking up with, myself, one of my friends who got really drunk and was crying, and my exgirlfriend's sister, Mary, was taking care of him.  So the girl and I went up stairs and got naked on my bed, not fucking or anything (I hadn't fucked her yet) and Mary just happened to walk in on us.  She had just broken up with her boyfriend that day, and was trying to get him out of her head, so I some how convinced them to have a 3 some with me.  It fucking kicked ass.  Watching them make out with eachother, go down on eachother, go down on me.  Having two girls go down on you at the same time is probably the best experience a person could have... It was fantastic... that was until we started fucking. After about 20 min of me swiching back and forth between the two girls, Mary freaked out.  She got up and decided she couldn't take anymore.  She started yelling at me about how I wasn't her exboyfriend. I sat there on my bed, naked, with a condom on, seeing Mary yell at me and this girl comforting her.  I mentioned that I felt like a piece of meat, and she responded with "Good cause I treated like one."  The two then left together leaving me feeling like shit. Hahaha, that was nice and psychologically damaging.

So yeah, I am never having sex again.  I had sex with the girl a few more times, then she went to college and now she has a girlfriend.  I made out with a girl 5 years younger than me and felt like shit.  I only have one friend that's a girl now, and she hates me.  I don't know any girls that I am slightly interested in, and if I was I would be too afraid of sex to do anything about it. Luckily, I am on enough medication, or I would be dead months ago.  

Luckily I have my computer....  and a razorblade...