The first time I saw Girl Talk was probably in 2003… Maybe 2004. I was managing the Gaskets and we took one of our first shows to NYC. We were playing an Electro showcase at the Delancey. The night before the show we parked about 15 feet away from a fire hydrant. The next day the car was gone. We had no idea how to get it back. After freaking out in a bagel shop someone told us to call 311. We did that and they told us it would have been towed to the Brooklyn Naval Yard. We could get the car back if we paid $250, the only problem was that it was my friends sisters car and he didn’t know her license plate, or model year or really anything about the car. His sister was at summer camp and we couldn’t reach his mom. Several hours later it was getting late, we had no luck and then his mom called us. She for some reason was in whatever state that Mt. Rushmore is in and was visiting the giant stone presidents and did not get service. Unfortunately she didn’t know the plate number, but she knew it began with a J and what the model of the car was. This was not enough information for them there, but some how my friend talked them into telling us what the rest of the license plate was over the phone. We were told to take some train there and then walk over a mile through the projects to the impound. When we got there it was closing in 30 minutes and we had no proof that we owned the car somehow we convinced them to let us have the car. It was a miracle, but we had to pay another $250 for the parking ticket. Had we not gotten the car out right when we did we would have not have been able to get it out until Monday.

Anyway, that was a wondering long story and I am watching Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds, while I write this so it probaly was not the most well told yarn. So I will get to the point. We ended up playing a show that about 30 people showed up for with Girl Talk and the son of Chris Frantz and Tina Weymouth from The Talking Heads/ Tom Tom Club. Chris Frantz was actually there. Girl Talk was pretty nuts even then. He was jumping around the crowd, playing a bit of a song and then going nuts and the coming back to change the song. I didn’t really get it, but it was clearly punk rock as fuck.

After spending $500 dollars on the car, a tank and a half of gas, and tolls, we made exactly $27 dollars. Amazing.

We played with him a few more times in Richmond with Krames but it was never more than a hundred or so people. So it was pretty fucking nuts to see him play in front of 2000 or so screaming fans. I just wish the Gaskets could have played that show. 3 sold out shows in a venue as big as Terminal 5 is pretty amazing. The show was pretty mind blowing with fake money, beach balls and toilet paper guns. He got progressively more naked as the night went on, and when he took his shoes off, these girls started kissing them and dancing around with the shoes. It was intensely weird. I had a lot of fun though. I probably would have had a lot more fun if I didn’t fill up my memory card. Luckily Nicky came to my rescue and let me borrow one of his.

Okay, I will stop rambling and tell you just to look at the photos, (Or at the Voice here) there are some pretty great ones. I also want to tell you to see Feast 2 staring DBB favorite Chelsea, because it is even more intensely weird than people worshiping Girl Talk’s shoes, and much more gory.

I hit up both Trash and Ruff Club on one night so this gallery is a two-for one affair.  I spent most of my time at Trash but I hit up Ruff Club around 3 or so.  At Ruff I met some NYU girls who told me they were polyamorous and were in to hedonism. I saw them make out with a bunch of guys and each other in the few minutes I met them.  These  are my type of people.  At Trash I met a girl who had a really brilliant idea for a website and I want to help her with it, so I am going to keep the idea a secret.  But I didn’t get her number or anything, so dear, if you are out there, hit me up.  Let’s make some art.  Lastly, there is one boob in this gallery so watch out!  Be oh, so careful at work… Or something.  Not that anyone with the type of job where seeing boobs would get you in trouble would ever look at my site at work anyway.

So I was in an art show Thursday put on by the Lowbrow Society for the Arts at Southside Speakeasy in Williamsburg. Fuck you for not coming…. Unless you did. Then thanks. A lot of people did come out. Way more than I expected actually. It was pretty great and a lot of fun. The bar was not lit for art, an my cheap plastic frames made my work look even worse, but I had a lot of compliments and over heard good things when people didn’t know I was there. They were mostly horrified by the homeless cock shot, but I guess you should have been there… The show was great because there were these creepy boob squish balls who had extremely realistic nipples. That was sweet. At the end of the night I realized that I was at a sexy art show and I had not taken any sexy photos and one of the curators volunteered to get naked, so I will have some fun bathroom shots for you on Monday. Why wait until Monday you ask? Because I am in Miami.

Right now I am at a conference of Miami Dolphins webmasters. I go every year and I don’t really tell anyone about my Dolphins site, but it is out of the closet now (and last year when I posted photos). I will have a bunch of geeky photos when I get back. I also had one of the hottest girls I have ever shot come from Orlando to take dirty photos in my hotel room. They are fucking hot as hell and I will get them up next week. She also brought her friend with her, who is also really hot, and hopefully I am going to have time to shoot her too, but I guess we shall see. You guys will be happy.

Anyway, the photos from the art show are here. Probably no updates until Monday. Enjoy your weekend. Go Dolphins!

Halloween was not exactly as planned. I had some plans, but those plans sort of got rearranged when I was convinced to go to Santos’ Party House for Smack to take photos of the Burning Angel crew’s live recreation of the movie that started it all for them: Re-Penetrator.  Burning Angel wanted to do a halloween themed porn for their site several years ago so Joanna called her friend Doug Sakmann (who is constantly mentioned on this site) to make a horror porn remake of Re-Animator (and then later The XXXorsist). Unfortunately Burning Angel’s web host were none too excited about violent porn, so they shut the site down.  This gave the site a huge amount of publicity and moved Burning Angel into the big time, and started Doug on a new seedy porn directing side career.  You can read more about this here in my now ancient interview with Doug.

So this year for halloween they decided to  redo the movie… Live on stage.   Well sort of, this time there were pasties and underwear (well, until the end…), no actual sex (well maybe a little…) and a crowd of several hundred people watching and getting sprayed with fake blood.  Anyway, due to the weird lighting and horrible smoke machines, all the photos I took of the event sort of sucked.  I got some good ones when I shot without flash (I should have done that the whole time), but let’s just say mistakes were made, I am moderately embarrassed with the work, but the photos are sexy and bloody and maybe even bloody sexy so I am sure you guys will dig them anyway.  These photos are not safe for anyone.

Also, due to Smacks restrictive photo policy there are pretty much only photos of the BA crew and the actual Re-Penetrator Live.

All the photos are here.  Enjoy them, because I spent my entire halloween night taking them…

My friend Doug Sakmann is at it again… He always throws the most insane parties that involve at least blood or pornography. Last night was a little of both. After a very successful Zombie Crawl in Brooklyn he returned to the city for a Zombie Flashmob/ Canned Food Drive. I had just finished watching the Dolphins kick the hell out of the Buffalo Bills and I was feeling in high spirits. I was dressed in my full Dolphins gear and wanted to go home but I realized the Zombie Crawl was a few blocks away at Union Square. I got there right as they were taking a group photo. I didn’t really have time to take good photos, I just put my camera on automatic and hoped for the best. By that time they were gnashing and wailing their way over to Whole Foods which freaked out all the employees. Seeing hundreds of the dead asking you for caned corn could be a bit upsetting. All the clerks were mentioning Resident Evil. I was told not to shoot in the store and I was tired and dressed in Aqua and Orange so I decided I would go home and meet the Zombies later. 12 hours of zombies is even too much for me. I showed to the Knitting Factory a bit late and many of the zombies had split. I did get to see Cleric play and Nassau Chainsaw tear shit up. Disgraceland Hook Squad was there suspending people and causing ruckus. There was a Strip For Pain with Burning Angel Girls. There was a performance by the Living Dead Girlz and I have to say that right now I that my sleeping pill kicked in so if some of this doesn’t make since thats why. I will just stop the update. And do my best get the photos up. There are a lot of them and they are ghoulish! There are some zombie tits in this set, so be on the look out for nudity and hide it from your boss. Watch and learn. Don’t get bit.

Ps. If I remember any of this tomorrow, I’ll add more links, and maybe fix the errors. until then I need to sleep.

Fool’s Gold Record’s turned one and they had an anniversary party for CMJ. I went down to Webster Hall to check it out and only had to put up with moderate shit this time getting in. That place is sort of a nightmare, but I had fun this time. I was pretty excited to see Kid Sister and I spent most of the night either on the stage or talking to Ellen Stagg about astrology, or something… Atrak and his brother (Dave 1 of Chromeo) Dj’d and Trackademicks spit shit. Jokers Of The Scene ended the night… or at least were still spinning when I left at like 3:30. Good times had by all. Photos go here.

Update: These photos were blogged about on the Village Voice here.

Spank Rock and Amanda Blank showed up at High Voltage with XXXChange, Pase Rock, Eli Escobar and a host of people who fucked shit up at Annex all night.  High Voltage needs to have a big event like that once a month some how.  It was sort of a blast.  As I mentioned before I have a huge crush on Amanda Blank and seeing her destroy it house party style only added to that.  It was pretty much just chaos and   hula hoops all night.  Sorry it took so long to get these up.  I’ve been massively busy with CMJ.  Well, sort of, I really haven’t done a god damned thing in two days, but a man has to sleep some time.  Anyway, check out the photos.  Hot shit.

Adventures on a Sunday?  Crazy.  I went to the Dim Mak event at Blvd.  It was slightly dead but I met a friend there who I had not seen in a while so that was fun.  I even danced a bit.  Stretch Armstrong, Steve Aoki, Eli Escobar and Pase Rock DJ’d.  Photos go here.

Well you waited long enough for these… And the results from last Friday are pretty unimpressive. I am not sure what I did to make it take 4 days to upload them, but here they are. Enjoy.

Somehow, while approving comments on this post it got deleted.  I feel like I had written a few paragraphs but I am not sure what it was about.  I think part of it was about my new camera and how I am still experimenting with it.  Hopefully I will have it on lock in a few weeks.  Anyway, I don’t want to redo the post but check out the photos from Happy Endings on Tuesday.

IT’S BAAACK!  I finally got my camera back.  For about two months I had a Nikon D300 which is the first digital camera I have ever been happy with (although the Fuji Fine Pix S2 Pro was pretty nice at the time).  After about two months, one of the memory card reading pins got bent and I had to send it to Nikon to get it fixed.  To their credit, they fixed it for free, however when they sent it back UPS lost it.  It should have been delivered on Aug 21st.  By the time I went through all the bullshit of dealing with Nikon and UPS (they will be receiving hate mail shortly) and got my camera back it was October 9th nearly two months later.  I am just getting used to the camera again.  I have to reread the manual and figure out what’s what.  So these photos are a test run.  Check back in a month and we will see how we are doing then.   I also shot these photos with a fixed 20mm lens so they should be a bit wider than normal.  Anyway, let’s get on to the post.

My day was sort of a travesty.  I woke up at 7 AM to watch myself on Good Morning America.  I was going to go back to sleep but after a run to the post office and a few McGriddles I didn’t really feel like sleeping.  I went into my day job an hour early to take some photos.  I work for the Internet Archive and until Friday we worked out of the Donnell Public Library.  However, they are turning that library into a hotel so we had to leave.  I spent some time photographing the now empty building.  Those photos should be up soon.  We had to pack up everything at the office and my coworkers and I busted our asses getting everything done so we could get today off of work.  It was successful, but I was completely exhausted.  We got off work a bit early around 10:30 so I decided I had some time to kill before heading over to Trash.

My friend Mandy Morbid was in town and her boyfriend Zak Sabath had an art show in the city so I went to meet them at the after party.   It was 5 avenues and 25 blocks (about 2.5 miles) southwest of my work, but I wanted to play with my camera so I decided to do it on foot and walk through Times Square.  When I got to the bar, Zak and Mandy left to have sex and told me they were going to be back soon.  The bar was called Billy Marks West and it was the worst bar I have ever been to.  I wanted to just walk around until they got back because the bar looked so god awful, but I really needed to pee, so I decided to go in.  But I didn’t want to just use their bathroom and walk out so I took a seat at the bar and was going to order a coke or something.  I don’t drink as you probably know by now, but I was extremely thirsty from the walk.  I really just wanted a water, but I wanted to pay for something.  The bartender came over and asked me what I wanted.  When I said “What do you have that is non-alcoholic?” He snapped back “Nothing.” And walked away from me.  I was sort of bewildered but I just sat there.  A few minutes later he said in a quite threatening way “What can I do for you?”  I said “Don’t you have a coke or something?”  He told me it would be $5.  Now, I would have spent $5 (Plus tip) to just sit there and wait and use their bathroom, but the way he said it, it was clear he was just trying to be a dick.  So I said “$5 for a coke?”  And he said “It’s the same price as a beer, a drink is a drink”. So I told him to make me a Shirley Temple.  Again he turned his back on me.  A few minutes later he came back and said I was making him uncomfortable.  I told him I was didn’t drink and I was just waiting for some friends.  He told me that normally when people come into a bar they drink.  I told him again that I was just waiting, and that I would buy a Shirley Temple.  He then got in my face about how this was his bar and blah blah blah… So I left.  I didn’t even get to pee. Never go to Billy Mark’s ever (Not that you would).  It is a horrible bar with at least one asshole for an owner (I’m not sure if he was Billy or Mark but he is on their bullshit site).

I walked over to Rebel and talked to their manager while I waited for Mandy to text.  When she did, she said she had run into some people and they left and she had to get up early anyway.  At this point I am just in a horrible mood.  I take a cab over to Webster Hall for MSTKRFT.  I should be on the list, but I am not for some reason, and the door guy who I have talked to probably 25 times or something didn’t recognize me, even though he let me in without even looking at the list less than a week ago.  He told me I wasn’t on Alex English’s list and then started quizzing me about what Alex looked like.  He told me he had never heard of Driven By Boredom.  Now, I probably sound like an asshole here, but how do you work in night life in NYC, work with the same people I work with, and have never of even heard of my site.  That’s just upsetting.  He did eventually let me in any way, but my mood went from bad to worse.  After being twice asked to sell people E in the first 10 minutes of me being there, I decided I should just pack it in and go over to Trash.  On the way out I talked to JFK from MSTKRFT about working on a blog I might start with Terrence soon and got a hug from Bronques and a pep talk from Paulo so by the time I got to Trash I was feeling a little bit better.  My friend Joe Swanberg was in town for his movie premiere  and I got him and his friends a table and a few bottles of champagne.  I made out with some cute girls and even danced a bit.  Good times were had and I went to bed just a mere 26 hours after I woke up to see my self on national TV.  What a weird fucking day.

Photos are here.  They are NSFW including one of my favorite photos I have ever taken. It’s of Apathy.  You can see it below in it’s censored version.

PS.  Joe’s movie is called Nights and Weekends.  It is playing at the IFC Center in NYC and is available on IFC OnDemand.  You should see it.  As soon as I do I will get up a review.

Nothing really happened on Monday night.  Adam Green was there which was cool.  I am a pretty big Moldy Peaches fan. I still haven’t heard it yet, but I hear his new album is amazing.  So yeah.  Other than that, I ain’t got shit.

Look at the photos if you must.

 Attack Of The Unibros!  Webster Hall was packed to the gills on Friday and I was there covering it for the Voice.   I brought my old friend Mara and we looked all over the place and I hardly saw anyone I know.  I thought that was a bit odd.  Eventually I made my way up to the front of the stage and noticed that pretty much everyone on the crowded stage was my friend.  I got up there and started shooting, but I then realized the bouncers wouldn’t let Mara up so I chilled there for a bit and came back down to meet her.  I hadn’t seen her in ages, only once since she’s moved to NYC, so we caught up and I took a few shots here and there.  The music was pretty amazing at times, but I didn’t get to go wild or anything, but the kids were having fun.  And that’s what it’s all about.  The kids, yo.

Check out the Super Unibros Here.

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Echo & The Bunnymen have been advertised as playing on the marquee at Radio City Music Hall for 2 months.  I was not aware that they demanded that kind of treatment.  Clearly I was wrong.  I engaged many a people in conversation about the Bunnies most important contributions to pop music that reach far beyond their  80’s dance night mainstay prowess.  I have to say that Will Sergeant of the Bunnymen absolutely rocked my face off at DJ booth.  Instead of the Smiths and Joy Division songs that I was kinda expecting he played a bunch of great 60’s garage with a ton of other rocking songs.  At one point he played two of my favorite songs back to back.  My favorite Creation song Bif Bang Pow and the original Gloria Jones version of Tainted Love.  Fucking amazing.

Check out all the shots from Beauty Bar.

Holy Jesus. I had not slept in so long when I went out and some how I stayed out until 6AM talking to these two rad girls about what it means to be a hipster or some horrible thing like that. We also took a bunch of crazy photos and ran around the LES harassing latino bakers and old UTZ drivers. We flashed strangers and stole candles. It was a pretty crazy night and it all started at Happy Endings. Hopefully I will have some photos of the girls up soon. I am not sure what they are going to let me post but every bouncer in the club watched me shoot the photos and the bus boy gave me five. So you know it has to be good. Anyway, there is a tiny sample of what is to come in this gallery so I am going to mark it NSFW. For the rest of the pictures from last night, please click here.

UPDATE:  Those girls don’t want me posting the photos that I got you all excited about, but just for fun I decided I would upload this image of what you are missing just to torture you.