I don’t even know why I need to keep telling you motherfuckers about how life changing my punk cover band is, but you need to know. You get another chance tonight to see Fucking Bullshit if you have the balls for it. We are playing a free show tonight at Lulu’s in Greenpoint. Not only is the show free but you get free pizza with every drink order. You cannot fuck with that. The show starts at 9 and we play around 11. There are two metal bands from Boston playing with us.

Seriously you need to go for one of three reasons. 1) You are a friend of mine/fan of this website and you need to support. 2) You want to just see a wild fucking show and like the idea of watching me do something insanely fucked up on stage 3) You like punk rock and this shit will actually be an amazing fun time for you.

We have played three shows so far and I have bled on stage in two of them.  I will get drunk and possibly vomit. I might get naked. Who fucking knows? I certainly don’t. I can’t promise anything other than it will be a wild show and the more people who show up the more likely it is for the show to end in a horrifying display of violence.

To get a better understanding of what I am talking about look at these photos and then enjoy this short video clip of me trying to knock myself unconscious with a microphone while covering a GG Allin song. I love you all, see you tonight.

If you recall I front the world’s greatest punk cover band, Fucking Bullshit and while most cover bands are just for fun and kind of a joke, I take my band way too fucking seriously. I have wanted to be in a band my entire life and it turns out I am pretty good at it. I might not have any musical talent but I can put on a mother fucking show and to me that is 95% of live music. You may never get a chance to buy an album from us but we are pretty worth seeing. (And you can always get a T-shirt!) During the show at Lit I broke a bottle of beer, picked up part of the glass and cut my chest with it. I don’t enjoy pain and I have never cut myself before, but the ghosts of GG Allin and Darby Crash took hold. Who fucking knows what I will do for the next show…

When it comes to having a band the best thing about being a photographer is that you have a lot of photographer friends. Two of my favorite photographers (both in quality of work and quality of people) brought their cameras to our recent show at Lit Lounge.

Steve Prue is a commercial photographer who also happens to shoot a lot of naked girls. He and I have shot so many of the same girls it’s not even funny. His portrait work is a lot better than mine, but he likes my event work better than his so we are somehow even. Great dude and great photographer. He dragged the hell out of his shutter and tried to get the hell out of my way and got some wild pictures from my show.

Tod Seelie is a guy that you never need to worry about him getting the hell out of the way. Tod has shot some of the craziest bands and events I have ever seen and does it better than anyone. For a guy who shoots mostly 20 something white people he puts himself in a lot of danger to get the shot. If you crossed a party photographer with a war photographer you would get Tod. I was an honor to have him shoot my band and post it on his website with all the other insane bands he shoots.

Tod’s best of shots can be found here and the entire gallery of images can be found over here. As far as Steve’s shots go I posted my favorites below and the rest you can find on the Fucking Bullshit Facebook page.

Thanks a lot to both of the guys and make sure to check out my favorite shots and a video of our “encore” below – Body Count’s legendary track “Cop Killer”.

Ps. Fucking Bullshit is playing again THIS SUNDAY at LuLu’s in Greenpoint. I don’t have the details but Like us on Facebook and you will be in the know!

As you better fucking know by now I front the world’s greatest band. We are called Fucking Bullshit which is the world’s greatest band name and we play punk rock music. Specifically we play punk rock music that was written by other people when we were still in diapers. We pretty much do all early 80′s punk/hardcore covers with a few other things thrown in (Cop Killer by Body Count for example). We ruin lives and there is a good chance I will bleed or vomit on you if you come to the show.

Since we do all covers we are never going to release any music but we need some way to pay for our practice space so I reached out to my pal Nicholas Gazin to draw us up a t-shirt. He did the iconic Cerebral Ballzy shirt and I figured if we had an iconic shirt maybe it would make up for us not being a real band somehow.  I then hit up my friends over at Kill Shop Kill and they made me a bunch of shirts in exchange for the advertising that you might be looking at right now on the top of this very page.

So now that I had this awesome shirt I needed to take some pictures of it. At the same time a girl named Alias Blue hit me up on Model Mayhem and she asked me if I would take photos of her naked. This is something I rarely say no to and she had half her head shaved so I figured she would be an ideal Fucking Bullshit model.  We rolled over to the Fucking Bullshit practice space an hour before practice and we got her naked in our new shirt.

The photos kinda suck because they were shot in an ugly practice space with an on camera flash and they are generally uninspired but there are two important elements that make these photos awesome anyway. 1) The shirt is the greatest thing that has ever existed and 2) Boobs. You cannot fuck with that logic. Also after the shoot we walked out into the Bushwick night and took more photos while dudes in bands walked by. Those photos are a lot better.

Anyway, you can get one of these shirts for your own for just $10 if you come to Lit Lounge tonight at 11PM to see the greatest punk cover band that has ever existed in humanity. I will probably have a Pay Pal thing set up later if you want a shirt but they will cost more and you will have to pay for shipping and you won’t get to see the greatest band to ever bleed from the face.

So I will see you motherfuckers tonight. Both the show and this gallery are NSFW.

Click here to see the dirty photos of Alias Blue wearing Nicholas Gazin’s Fucking Bullshit T-shirt.

I have so many random band photos and things to get up over the next week or two but I am in Chicago and I haven’t slept more than four hours since last Wednesday. Before I get to any band photos I need to take a minute to promote some super important madness happening very soon. This Thursday, November 10th my punk cover band Fucking Bullshit is playing Lit Lounge at 11pm. My homie Rudy’s band Filthy Savage is playing at 10 before us and the party NC-17 is happening right after it so you can come early and stay late. The show is $6 which while not a lot of money is still too much for most of you assholes but I promise to at least try to make myself bleed on stage. It will be our first show in like two months so I am pretty pumped and we have three new songs including Cop Killer by Body Count. Get excited.

In celebration of this show I have created a new video teaching everyone how to make the bands sinature coctail, a “Fucking Bullshit”. It involves three shots of rum, two 5 Hour Energy drinks and twenty minutes after you take it you feel like God. I will be drinking one of these a half hour before we play at Lit so come and see what happens. Also we will have our new amazing t-shirts for sale which I will be hopefully unveiling this week.

Fucking Bullshit played a show at Lit Lounge last Thursday and Coach Mike Pics was there to take photos.  He only took a handful mostly because I told him before the show started to be careful because might try to destroy him in a fit of punk rock violence. Once I started to run out of steam at the end and flop around on the floor he got his shots.

I just wanted to link to these and get up a few photos while I wait for my tire to get changed. I have been in VA all weekend doing a fundraiser for a tribute album dedicated to the music of one of my best friends, Ross Harman, who died one year ago today. I will be back in NYC tonight and then I am leaving again Friday so I needed to get something up so this page isn’t a wasteland.  Pics from the party last night will be up tomorrow, a naked girl for Thursday and hopefully I can get up the party pics I shoot for PBR on Friday. So yeah, there are some heads ups so you aren’t worried about me after I didn’t update for four days. I know how much you care.

Click here to see all of Coach Mike’s pics from the Fucking Bullshit Show.

My punk cover band Fucking Bullshit is playing at Lit Lounge on 2nd Ave tomorrow (Thursday Sept 1st) at 11pm right before the dance party NC-17.  I feel pretty comfortable promoting the show after our last one went so well but we have only practiced twice since then so who know what will happen. I can promise you this… if you give a shit about punk rock from the early 80′s you will have a blast.  You will also get to see me drink which is a rare delight and I will fall over a lot and try to hurt the audience. At the very least it will be something to see. If you wan’t to know more about the band, see the songs we cover and watch some live footage you should check out the new half assed Fucking Bullshit website.

Now I have been bugging people about this show via Facebook and shit and I don’t really think I need to be blasting this shit to everyone on my website considering most of you don’t live in NYC and are just here for tits or juggalos or something else but last night I made a video promoting the show that I want you to see.

Fucking Bullshit is a cover band, so if we are going to make a commercial for a show we might as well cover a commercial. In the early 80′s Black Flag used to run radio commercials in LA for their shows and they compiled 17 minutes of these into one track called Crass Commercialism on their album Everything Went Black. We went ahead and covered the first commercial on the track mostly because it was the only one on YouTube.  Check it out.

So now that we decided on a commercial to rip off the next step was for our bassist Brian Grosz, a professional voice artist, to record a parody of the commercial.  He sent it to me yesterday afternoon and the only move from there was to obviously shave my head.  I decided the punk rock thing for me to do was to shave my head for the show and I thought it would make a good visual to go along with the audio Brian recorded. My roommate recorded me doing it in the mirror which sort of references the Black Flag album cover for Damaged which coincidentally is the background music to the commercial. And then I spent way too long trying to edit it together into this video flyer.

So watch this shit and then watch us perform another Black Flag song and then finally go to the show tomorrow night. 11PM at Lit. Oh, and it costs $6 which is probably too much for you elitist hipster vip fucks to pay… Fuck off and die, Oi!, etc.

I turned 30 last May and I realized something. In my life I have worked in the music industry in nearly every imaginable way except one.  I stared a record label when I was 15. I ran a zine about punk for 3 years. I have written and blogged about music. I have booked shows and dance parties. I have booked tours for bands. I have managed bands including one for 5 years. I have photographed bands and DJs both live shots and portraits.  I have been in a half dozen music videos. I haven’t actually recorded any bands but I have been in recording studios with bands helping out in whatever ways I could for countless hours. I have made flyers, stickers and album covers. I have promoted, built websites for and done everything you could imagine for a number of bands.  Music was my life for so long but one thing I have never done was play in a band.

I have no musical talent, but that hasn’t stopped me from fucking around with bands.  I was in a band in high school that I played random things like washboards and kazoos in but we never played a show. I have even made some really awful music more or less as a joke. I once sang background gang vocals on a Camper Van Beethoven track.  I even once filled in for a band that was missing a bassist at a show.  I stood there holding a bass that was plugged into a cardboard box that had the word AMP written on it. One of the dudes from PCP Roadblock stood in the back of the room and yelled “TURN UP THE BASS” as the guitarist and drummer played three songs while I stood there banging on strings.  Other than that the closest I have ever come to playing a show was singing Elvis at my friends post elopement wedding party.

Now, one thing I have to say is that I cannot sing for shit. I have no voice and no timing.  All that being said, I am a fucking lunatic and I have a pretty good feeling can thrash around on stage with the best of them. So when I turned 30 I decided to try to start a punk band. After months of talking about it we are finally going to have our first practice on Tuesday.  This band is pretty much going to be a joke.  The guys in the band are all in other bands and they are going to practice with me once a week until we get our shit together to play a few shows for fun.  If I could play three real shows I would cross a huge item off my bucket list.  So we are going to probably just be a cover band.  At least to start with. I sent everyone three of my favorite punk songs to learn and hopefully we can get them down on Tuesday. I guess the ultimate goal would be maybe 5 covers and 5 originals which seems like a pretty good 20 minute set. I’ll let you guys know how it goes although I probably won’t be promoting the shows too much if they ever do happen because 95% don’t give a fuck about punk and wouldn’t enjoy the show even if I could sing.

Now the meat of this post is going to be the 3 covers we are going to end up practicing on Tuesday:

The first is Girl Problems by State Of Alert.  S.O.A. was Henry Rollins first band and he is really dismissive of them.  But their only record, the No Policy EP, is my favorite punk album of all time. Girl Problems is my favorite song on it even though when I was 15 and listning to it the only girl problems I had were that they wouldn’t talk to me.

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The second song is Drink, Fight & Fuck by G.G. Allin.  I plan on naming my first photo book Drink Fight Fuck and this song is sort of what violent punk is all about.  The irony here is of course that I don’t drink, but I think I might make an exception if we ever play a show. I got in a lot of fights growing up but having a $3000 camera in your hand makes it a lot harder to decide to throw a punch so I have been pretty fortunate not to have done extremely stupid in a few years. And as far as the Fuck part goes… no comment.

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The last song is Depression by Black Flag.  The Keith Morris version of this song is great but it’s really the live version from Decline of Western Civilization version that I hope to be channeling when I sing it. Black Flag is the band that got me into punk and really changed my life. The DIY mentality of punk is probably the only reason I have been able to run my own business. If it weren’t for Black Flag I would probably be working at a bank or something.