Listen motherfuckers, I am going to keep posting photos of my band Fucking Bullshit on here because I am an egotist and you guys are just going to have to deal with it. I mean I guess you could stop coming to my website but then you might miss out on some naked tattooed girl or something and how much of a bummer would that be right? So deal with it. I will have a naked tattooed girl for you tomorrow.
Fucking Bullshit played a brand new venue in Williamsburg Brooklyn called Grand Victory. It is military themed which made for awesome shots of me screaming into the mike with war posters that say GIVE ‘EM HELL in the background. The show itself was pretty awesome cause we opened for 70′s punk fixtures The Brats and there was decent crowd including a legit 15 year old punk kid who actually gave a fuck about the songs we were playing. There were a couple of cute ladies that knew the lyrics too which made for a good time. Probably the worst part about the whole set was the one of my favorite photographers Tod Seelie showed up which meant I knew I was going to have to do something crazy for his camera. Last time he was at a show I cut my chest open with a broken bottle. This time I decided to go with my head with a box cutter. Next time it will be in the kitchen with a candle stick.
Anyway, the shots are awesome. You can see them all by clicking right here and as always I will post my favorite shots below this very sentence.
Hello. If you recall. I have a band called Fucking Bullshit. We play some of the greatest punk rock covers that you could ever wrap your mind around. We change lives every single time we play. I don’t want to sound boastful but we put on the greatest show that has ever been put on by any band in any point in history ever. Each show is better than the next so there is no doubt that this absolutely FREE show tomorrow at Grand Victory in Williamsburg will be the greatest show that there has ever been.
Imagine telling your kids about how you went to see the relaunching of the Glamdammit party at Grand Victory and how you saw the greatest performance in music history. It’s a moment that will go down in rock and roll lore and you were there. Wow. I almost envy you because I will never be able to see myself perform. I sometimes cry myself to sleep at night thinking about how great I am as a punk rock front band and no matter what I do I can never fully experience myself from the point of view of an audience member. I die inside knowing I am going to miss the very performance that you can see for FREE THIS SATURDAY AT 10PM at Grand Victory.
So yeah, you need to come tomorrow. We go on at 10pm. The doors open at 9:30 and you want to be on time because you do not want to miss this fucking brilliance. We open for the Brats who were late 70′s NYC punk legends influencing bands like the Ramones and such. Plus the theme of the party is Jetboy Jetgirl which is a fucking amazing song about consensual gay pedophilia from the point of view of the child done best by the Damned. Good times.
It’s New Years Eve and we are all about to be partying and what not like we all do at this time of year but I wanted to look back on the year and talk about three things that really made a difference in my life in 2011 and I am looking forward to them still being a big part of my 2012. 2011 was a pretty great year for me and I hope 2012 is even better for me and you and everyone who reads this damn website. Thanks for paying attention.
1) Fucking Bullshit
I worked in some way with music for most of my life. When I was 15 I started a zine and shortly after founded a record label. I started booking shows and taking photos of bands. Later in life I managed a band for 5 years, I started booking dance parties and went on tour with bands and DJ’s and even worked in the studio with bands. I did everything you could imagine except be in a band. And like every single person who works in music all I really wanted to do was be in a band. Finally in 2011 I got my chance and I started my punk rock cover band Fucking Bullshit and we are somehow way better than we ever should have been and it’s more fun than I ever thought it would be. We get the New Years started with a bang with our next free show January 5th at Don Pedro’s in Brooklyn. Come see us!
2) Dolfans NYC
I have been running the New York City Miami Dolphins fan club for a few years but this year I think we really established ourselves. Even though the Dolphins have sucked we have had a big group at our bar, Third & Long, every single week. We brought a HUGE group to the Meadowlands for Jets and Giants games and we are starting to be taken very seriously by the Miami Dolphins organization. Their Weekly TV show did an interview with us and we have had more and more contact with the team. 2012 seems like it is going to be even bigger for us as we are helping to promote the 40th Anniversary reunion of the 1972 undefeated Dolphins team in North Jersey. If the Dolphins ever started wining some games we would be in Phin Heaven.
3) Travel
2011 was amazing for me as far as adventuring is concerned. The year started off with a trip to LA and Vegas and then my yearly trip to SXSW but this year really got crazy when I went back to LA and ended up driving across the country. I ended up being out of town for 28 days and I did almost no actual paid work and was living on savings and ad money. Fortunately when I got back in NYC I met the Sailor Jerry Rum PR girl Dana Dynamite who over the last six months has become a great friend and Sailor Jerry has hired me to work Lolapalooza and then Voodoo Fest in New Orleans and then Fun Fun Fun in Austin and even Art Basel in Miami. Even though I rarely drink alcohol, Sailor Jerry is the perfect client. Their brand is all about tattoos and partying and half naked tattooed girls. They send me out to amazing parties and I get to talk bands into getting free Sailor Jerry tattoos. I even got a free tattoo out of the deal. It’s been pretty fucking amazing. 2012 is looking like it will be just as adventurous as on the 12th I head to LA for a week vacation before heading to Vegas to shoot the AVN Awards and then back to LA for a few days before heading to Aspen to cover the X Games for Sailor Jerry.
So yeah, 2011 was fucking amazing and assuming the world doesn’t end 2012 should be even better. But looking back there was some sadness too and I want to take a moment to remember the people I lost last year. My friend good tragically Colin died of brain cancer in his mid 20′s and my closest grandparent, my grandma Jo finally passed in her 90′s. My grandmother has been one of the closest people in my life so losing her killed me but losing a friend at 25 was so much more tragic. But with death comes new beginnings and 2012 will mark the release of a project I have been working on since the week my best friend Ross Harman died in late 2010. His tribute album will be released in late February and while it will never bring my friend back it will go a long way to helping me deal with his loss.
Let’s hope no one reading this has to deal with any of that loss in 2012 and as a fantastic year. Happy New Years everyone!
When my punk cover band Fucking Bullshit performed our last show we decided to do a Christmas tune. We covered Fuck Christmas by Fear and I disrobed before the song and performed it wearing nothing but a Christmas thong and a Santa hat. I asked my friend Sasha to film it since she is a filmmaker and photographer but evidently she was drunker than I thought and she managed to miss Fuck Christmas completely. I was planning on releasing the Fuck Christmas footage on my website on Christmas day. Alas it was not meant to be.
The one song Sasha did film was our encoure, Depression by Black Flag. We were not planning on playing it and hadn’t practiced it in weeks but someone tucked a dollar bill into my g-string during the last song so I told the crowd if they paid me $10 I would perform another song. They threw enough money at me so we carried on. Unfortunately I was completely wasted at this point and didn’t remember how it started and we just sort of butchered the song. I wouldn’t even bother posting it except the ending is really amazing and this small Asian man comes up to me and asks to take a photo of me. There is also a lot of footage of me pretty much naked and playing with my genitals on stage. I am sure you will enjoy it a lot but make sure if nothing else you watch everything from the 1:45 mark on…
Tonight my violent and insane punk cover band Fucking Bullshit is playing a not to be missed show at Ding Dong Lounge which is all the way up on 106th St. and Columbus. I know it is super far away but you need to come to this shit. We are playing at 9:45 and we are playing with Graffiti Monsters and Ritz Riot which are rad bands that you should see too. We are doing a Christmassy set that is not to be missed. Something wild will happen I promise.
Secondly this weekend I have some “art” in a two day art show put on by You Are All You Need. This is their debut event and it is a Christmassy event as well filled with Christmas ornament art, Santa photo booths and good cheer. Also it will feature a fake mini Christmas tree filled with ornaments made out of pictures of my testicles. Seriously, I am not even joking. Come out to N 12th and Union this weekend and drink egg nog and look at my balls.
Anyway, I hope to see you guys tonight and tomorrow. Click on the flyers to get more info!
So Veronica Rose is the newest Burning Angel to move to NYC. Back in the day there were tons of naked tattooed porn babes roaming the streets of this city but since my homie Joanna Angel fled Brooklyn for the barios of LA there has been a drought of Burning Angels in New York. Luckily Veronica Rose just moved to New York and she is totally awesome and mildly insane which is what I look for in a human. I partied with her last night at Le Souk and it was a pretty wild time. There will be pictures later.
Anyway Veronica came over to my apartment after band practice one night and I didn’t have a place to shoot but I did have brand new Fucking Bullshit t-shirts (art by Nicholas Gazin!) so I cut one up and put her in it. I figured it would be pretty punk rock to put her on the toilet for some reason so we did the shoot in my bathroom in like twenty minutes and then last night at 7am (yes I realize that 7am is considered the morning to most people) I took a bunch of sleeping pills and edited and color balanced the images. Note to self: In the future do not color balance on sleeping pills.
Now I know you are thinking to yourself… Veronica’s boobs are fucking life changing, but what I was really ogling were those amazing t-shirts. I saw the naked girl wearing the black ones and I loved them. But how can I get one for myself?! That’s easy my friends, you can come see Fucking Bullshit, the worlds greatest punk rock cover band. We are playing THIS FRIDAY at Ding Dong Lounge way the fuck in the Upper West Side. I know that sounds like a distance that is impossible to cover but it turns out there are Subways that will take you there from nearly anywhere in New York City. The show costs $6 and the shirts available in both red and black and black and white are available for just ten American Dollars or $40 Canadian. We play at 9:45 with Ritz Riot and Graffiti Machines. The show will be Christmas themed and I promise that I will either bleed or get naked. Bring a camera.
I don’t even know why I need to keep telling you motherfuckers about how life changing my punk cover band is, but you need to know. You get another chance tonight to see Fucking Bullshit if you have the balls for it. We are playing a free show tonight at Lulu’s in Greenpoint. Not only is the show free but you get free pizza with every drink order. You cannot fuck with that. The show starts at 9 and we play around 11. There are two metal bands from Boston playing with us.
Seriously you need to go for one of three reasons. 1) You are a friend of mine/fan of this website and you need to support. 2) You want to just see a wild fucking show and like the idea of watching me do something insanely fucked up on stage 3) You like punk rock and this shit will actually be an amazing fun time for you.
We have played three shows so far and I have bled on stage in two of them. I will get drunk and possibly vomit. I might get naked. Who fucking knows? I certainly don’t. I can’t promise anything other than it will be a wild show and the more people who show up the more likely it is for the show to end in a horrifying display of violence.
To get a better understanding of what I am talking about look at these photos and then enjoy this short video clip of me trying to knock myself unconscious with a microphone while covering a GG Allin song. I love you all, see you tonight.
If you recall I front the world’s greatest punk cover band, Fucking Bullshit and while most cover bands are just for fun and kind of a joke, I take my band way too fucking seriously. I have wanted to be in a band my entire life and it turns out I am pretty good at it. I might not have any musical talent but I can put on a mother fucking show and to me that is 95% of live music. You may never get a chance to buy an album from us but we are pretty worth seeing. (And you can always get a T-shirt!) During the show at Lit I broke a bottle of beer, picked up part of the glass and cut my chest with it. I don’t enjoy pain and I have never cut myself before, but the ghosts of GG Allin and Darby Crash took hold. Who fucking knows what I will do for the next show…
When it comes to having a band the best thing about being a photographer is that you have a lot of photographer friends. Two of my favorite photographers (both in quality of work and quality of people) brought their cameras to our recent show at Lit Lounge.
Steve Prue is a commercial photographer who also happens to shoot a lot of naked girls. He and I have shot so many of the same girls it’s not even funny. His portrait work is a lot better than mine, but he likes my event work better than his so we are somehow even. Great dude and great photographer. He dragged the hell out of his shutter and tried to get the hell out of my way and got some wild pictures from my show.
Tod Seelie is a guy that you never need to worry about him getting the hell out of the way. Tod has shot some of the craziest bands and events I have ever seen and does it better than anyone. For a guy who shoots mostly 20 something white people he puts himself in a lot of danger to get the shot. If you crossed a party photographer with a war photographer you would get Tod. I was an honor to have him shoot my band and post it on his website with all the other insane bands he shoots.
Thanks a lot to both of the guys and make sure to check out my favorite shots and a video of our “encore” below – Body Count’s legendary track “Cop Killer”.
As you better fucking know by now I front the world’s greatest band. We are called Fucking Bullshit which is the world’s greatest band name and we play punk rock music. Specifically we play punk rock music that was written by other people when we were still in diapers. We pretty much do all early 80′s punk/hardcore covers with a few other things thrown in (Cop Killer by Body Count for example). We ruin lives and there is a good chance I will bleed or vomit on you if you come to the show.
Since we do all covers we are never going to release any music but we need some way to pay for our practice space so I reached out to my pal Nicholas Gazin to draw us up a t-shirt. He did the iconic Cerebral Ballzy shirt and I figured if we had an iconic shirt maybe it would make up for us not being a real band somehow. I then hit up my friends over at Kill Shop Kill and they made me a bunch of shirts in exchange for the advertising that you might be looking at right now on the top of this very page.
So now that I had this awesome shirt I needed to take some pictures of it. At the same time a girl named Alias Blue hit me up on Model Mayhem and she asked me if I would take photos of her naked. This is something I rarely say no to and she had half her head shaved so I figured she would be an ideal Fucking Bullshit model. We rolled over to the Fucking Bullshit practice space an hour before practice and we got her naked in our new shirt.
The photos kinda suck because they were shot in an ugly practice space with an on camera flash and they are generally uninspired but there are two important elements that make these photos awesome anyway. 1) The shirt is the greatest thing that has ever existed and 2) Boobs. You cannot fuck with that logic. Also after the shoot we walked out into the Bushwick night and took more photos while dudes in bands walked by. Those photos are a lot better.
Anyway, you can get one of these shirts for your own for just $10 if you come to Lit Lounge tonight at 11PM to see the greatest punk cover band that has ever existed in humanity. I will probably have a Pay Pal thing set up later if you want a shirt but they will cost more and you will have to pay for shipping and you won’t get to see the greatest band to ever bleed from the face.
So I will see you motherfuckers tonight. Both the show and this gallery are NSFW.
