Aug 30:
Let me tell you a story. Last night I was driving home when some kids tossed a rock or an apple or something at my car. I didn't really know what to do. Yeah I was pissed, but at the same time, I have done the same thing dozens of times. I didn't realize what to do until I had driven a few 100 yards down the road. I stopped a the stoplight for a minute, and then did a U turn. When I turned around I could see them down the road, probably looking for some one else to hit. I am sure they recognized me, cause when I got out of my car they started saying "hey guy..." to me. I couldn't imagine what would come next. "...um sorry that you turned around..." or "...fuck you here comes another rock." Either way, I didn't wait to find out what they had in mind. I went to my trunk and pulled out my friends bb gun. I was probably 100 yards or so from them when I pretended to cock and load what no doubted looked like a hunting rifle to them. I then put on "Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta" by the Geto Boys and sped down the road after them, let them evade me then I slammed on the breaks did a 180 and charged right back at them. I cant imagine how scared they were. Ha ha you fucks. I won. I hope you cried yourself to sleep. Little bitches running away from a pump action bb gun. HAHAHA!
I have been working on the For The Ladies section. I included pictures of me in plastic wrap and soon this guy Adam in chaps and women's underwear. Now that is funny. I have been doing my best to be a cam girl as well. Now that my web cam is functioning I have decided to get myself on some cam portals. So far Sinn and Sammie have come to my assistance and they rule for it. So, add this image to your cam portal and you will be loved.
NEW EBAY AUCTION: Today I am selling 7:01 AM. Inspired by this Friend Bear comic. Click Here to bid! Lastly, I registered Funfetish.com!!! Check it out and send me ideas for it. The basic idea is really funny, viewer submitted porn. Hilarity at its finest... oh yeah, lots of naked chicks tomorrow...
Aug 27:
Did I miss a day? What is going on. I guess it doesn't mater. I am sick, I slept all day and I am going crazier and crazier by the minute. On the plus side, I think I got a job...
My boy Marshall got his lip tattooed yesterday, but because someone broke my digital camera I don't have pictures. I do have these two tattoo pictures that I took a week ago of the tattoo artist's tattoos. Leg, Arm. More importantly, I spent like 3 hours doing this. This tattoo page took sooooo much time to do cause of all the damned thumbnails. This is why the .php pages I promised you months ago aren't up. I'm lazy.
Another thing I posted was a section of guys wearing plastic wrap. The contest doesn't take them, so I posted some here. The new ones are Zocor and one from BJ. Click here to see the sickness.
I am out for now, I have some pictures to develop... Rock Most On.
Aug 25: Quick Update/No substance
I was just having a conversation about how I don't really talk about my life on this page. I spend most of the time talking about updates, but today is kinda different. Two nights ago my digital camera was knocked out of someone's hand by Mc Special Keithor in a drunken rage. It broke. Fuck. Then the next night I flipped out and had a nervous breakdown, most likely caused by these new pillz I am on. Thirdly I realized I am completely out of my mind, not because of any mental disorder, but because my five favorite bands right now are:
Sloppy
Seconds - Angry Offensive Punk Rock
They
Might Be Giants - Indescribable Nerd Core
Jurassic
5 - "Underground" Hip Hop
Elvis
- The King Of Rock And Roll
Die Heterosexual
Die - My Boy Automated Reason's Side Project
Speaking of which.. whoever can find me an Elvis CD with "Such A Night" and "Vive Las Vegas" on it, will win a link or something...
Fuck. I am going to go do something else... I am dizzy. Oh jesus.. as I was updating my fan club reached 80 members meaning I had to join... god have mercy on us all. The president of my club is a real psycho.... This update was not nearly as quick as I thought... its hard to work when your brain isnt functioning...
Aug 23:
I love Gatorman. Last night he gave me a radio and the day before he gave me a Barbie. I don't really need them, but he tries to pay me back for shit I get him. Today I am going to bring him some shirts and stuff. Anyway you can buy the Barbie he gave me on ebay. Sorry its been so long since my last ebay auction. But I am lazy and I hate you.
Here are some pictures of Automated Reason, the man behind the plastic wrap pr0n. He is wearing plastic wrap of course and looking um... sexy? I don't want to post these, and I really didn't to take them, but what the hell... I have some female/gay viewers. Speaking of gay, my Yahoo club is a hit with the gay community. Some how I have like 60+ members and all but 4 of them are guys. Go me! If my club gets 80 members I will join it! So ladies, sign up!
- Plastic Robot 1 - Plastic Robot 2 - Plastic Robot 3 - Plastic Robot 4 -
I am going to have sections for guys and girls soon... that way girls don't have to look at half naked chicks every day and guys won't ever again have to see Automated Reason's penis. What else... oh yeah, I wrote another article for Stile, I don't know if he's ever going to post it, but we shall see... I spent an hour last night talking to Kap from Steak And Cheese about comics last night. Um... My parents are out of town so I can sleep all day. What other useless info could I tell you about? Hmm... Link Link Link. Okay, I am going now. I'll be back on Sunday or some such...
Aug 21:
Yesterday I photographed some breakers in Old Town, AV. The elements oh hip hop, which breaking is one, is something I have been interested in for years, but something I don't know allot about. So I am going to just post these pictures with out descriptions because I don't know enough to describe them. I've seen better breakers, but these guys were damned good. Hopefully I will photograph more breakin soon...
- Breaker 1 - Breaker 2 - Breaker 3 - Breaker 4 - Breaker 5 - Breaker 6 - Breaker 7 - Breaker 8 - Breaker 9 - Breaker 10 - Breaker 11 -
Aug 19:
And you thought the Icy Hot Stuntaz were hard. Sheeit... MC Special Keith is in da house. Representin' to the fullest. Nigga please, you don't wanna fuck with this motha fucka. He rolls so hard he flattens speed bumps and shit. Y2Khai is a straight BITCH compared to this Asian Gangstar. Not only that, but Special Keith has got mad back. He traded Gatorman his glasses and now Special Keith has Gatorman's full protection. Watch out. Theys commin to get you hataz. Fuck any mother fucker who disagree.
Sorry I didn't update when I was supposed to, but I took Vicodin for my hurt back, Geyodon for my mental health, and Ambien for my sleep. The combination of drowsiness causing drugs made me sleep until 8 pm and I didn't have time to update. I went out with Molly and her friend Lindsay who kicks much ass. Lindsay if you read this... HI! Okay, I'm a dork. Here's a half naked girl for you. You can see more of her in the Plastic Wrap Competition.
Aug 16:
I gotta go soon cause I am getting an AIDS test. Its just a precaution but it's still scary. I also gotta get an EKG to make sure my new anti-psychotic doesn't interfere with my anti-depressant! How's that shit for lame ass personal content. Bite me, I know you don't give a fuck, so I will move on to other shit.
It seems ever since I started writing for Stile people have been on my dick. All of a sudden people who have know about my site for months are all like "your site has gotten so much better" and shit like that. This seems odd. My page if anything has gotten worse in the last few weeks. Some crazy mother fucker even made me a Yahoo Club!! I think it has 3 members, I am not one of them.
LADIES PLEASE ENTER THIS CONTEST ASAP!!
And lastly we got some tattoos. Tattoos are probably my favorite thing about doing this site, which is why you see so many, but I don't think anyone else cares. So here they are.... bitch.
- Sarah's Strawberry - AV4LIFE - Eek!! A Bat! - Oh My Goth... - Michelle's Ink -
Aug 14:
So yeah... all sorts of stuff is happening. I was going to dedicate this to telling the story of giving Gatorman DXM, but I think theirs other stuff to go off on. I will however post this gallery:
...and let that be that. He saw Jesus, fish and butterflies. Ended up in the hospital and vowed never to do any drugs again. He tripped for 24 hours... blah blah blah... I have lost interest. I am too interested in the Plastic Wrap contest and the fact that Marissa and Perfekt were on god damned MSNBC. First this bullshit salon.com article. And then them on TV. What the hell is going on. Both of these psudo-celebs are fans of my page, and rad chicks, but all of a sudden they are famous or some shit. That's Perfekt to your right, half naked!! The point is, I need to cash in. I have a hard drive full of nude pictures of Marissa. Who wants to buy them? Nah, I wont sell, but the web masters who promote these girls need some credit. GIVE THE PIMPS THEIR 40%!!!!!
Aug 12:
PLASTIC WRAP PORN!!! The contest is born. Floorgasm and I have started a plastic wrap contest with the help and wisdom of Amanda and Automated Reason. We will be giving a ton of free stuff (as well as links) to the sexiest plastic wrap photo. Here are some lovely examples I got from Livian and Sammie.
Livian - Her Roommate - Sammie 1 - Sammie 2
So go to THIS PAGE for details and SUBMIT!!
Aug 10:
The other day my friend Andy and I gave DXM to a homeless guy named Gatorman. Gatorman has replaced Crazy Willy as my rad crazy friend for the summer. People got mad at us for giving "that bum" drugs and messing with him while he was messed up. Someone actually called us pathetic, but the truth is, she was the pathetic one. Gator asked Andy what he was on, and Andy told him and gave him a gram of DXM. Gator is our friend. We don't think of him as "that bum". Andy would give DXM to any of his friends and if it was their first time, we would defiantly fuck with them. We treated Gator the same way we would treat anyone else. Thinking of him differently is bullshit. Given, he is funnier than most people, and he's really fucking crazy, but he is still our friend. So fuck the people who think we did something wrong. We were just tryin to get our friend messed up. The fact that he hallucinated for two days and ended up in the hospital is another story. Another story that I will have ready for you on Monday complete with pictures. It will be a damn good update so check back then. If you are new at this page... give me some feed back...
Aug 8:
I have started asking people all over to try on my nipple clamps. I found it amusing at first, but people are starting to get annoyed. People think I am sexist and blah blah blah. Evidently its perverted or something. The truth is its hilarious. I got them as a joke at a porn store... surely my friends would get it. But now I am just creepy. Well fuck them... I will quit asking people about the nipple clamps... but I did manage to get a few... so here's the last installment of my nipple clamp pictures...
- Adam and Molly - Emory - Jenny -
I must address something... there has been a rumor going around that I am fat. It is a half truth. I have put on quite a bit of weight from some anti-depressants, BUT I have started a diet yesterday, and as soon as I go to the DMV and get my drivers license back I can start going to the gym soon. Do not panic... this is very temporary. I will be a sexual icon again in no time. I apologize to my female fans.
Another thing I have to address is the sexist overtones of this page. Girls bitch that their are too many pictures of sexy girls on this site. Well the fact is that I put up stuff that entertains me. Guys have to do something interesting to get me to take a picture of them. Girls on the other hand just have to show some skin, cause that's sexy. Also another thing is that girls send me pictures and guys don't. Either way this is smart because I should cater to a male audience because the majority of the internet is male... at least the perverts who come to this page. Personally I would rather have interesting things than half naked girls anyway... but ladies, I like the half naked pictures too so don't stop sending them...
Aug 6:
After a 3 day orgy of sex, drugs and violence I return, dead tired and significantly depressed. I think it would be allot easier to deal with life if you and everyone you knew weren't so god damned insane. Unfortunately most of the pictures I took this weekend I can not publish. You see, their was an uprising in the ranks of my friends. I am not going to piss off my only friends just so you can see some god damned chaos! Anyways, I do have some pictures from the weekend and I will be posting them all this week. However today I am just going to stick to the tattoo's I collected. The highlight being Dave's Fighting Hellfish tattoo to your right... I mean left... That's just fucking bad ass... I am not going to fuck with a man sporting a Fighting Hellfish tattoo. The rest are below... I am going to write an article for Stile now instead of updating...
Lizard On Stomach - Flower On Chest - Modeski Martin And Wood Logo On Back - Sea Horse On Back - Tiger On Shoulder
Aug 3:
Their is a new cam whore on the scene, and thy name is GOF. Goddess of Freak. I explained to her I could give a fuck less about cam girls unless they benefit me somehow. So she hooked it up with not 1 but 5 fan pics and she linked me. GOF you are loved. Click the picture of her stomach to see the full gallery of fan pics.
I am going to a two day party tonight so I should come up with something interesting from there. I will be bringing my nipple clamps and a camera. Drugs and wine will flow like.. um... wine. Chaos will ensue. We can only hope that god will have mercy and one or two of us will survive. Their is no substitute for Automated Reason's fiestas.
Go to Scumbo now. Scumbo is Steve from Troma's band. Steve rules and he must be supported. Go love his rocking jams about apricots. He is a mad man and can not be stopped by man alone. Vive la revolution.
Lastly I just wanted to mention that I saw the most frightening thing ever. If you see this bug, run. Although it didn't move, it was scary and I wouldn't mess with it. Its god damn antennas were a foot long. Fear its wrath.
Aug 1:
Okay, he's not exactly Crazy Willy, but this summers crazy drunk is still an interesting man. He introduced himself to me as "I'm not fucking Donald Duck". And since then I have called him Donald. So Donald had a beat in his heart. And he trusted us with it. He spent 20 minutes trying to get us all to join him in a rendition of what seemed to be him humming "We Will Rock You". I was the only one to join him in his rousing chorus and he got kinda pissed off. I calmed his nerves with a sticker for his lunchbox, which he put on his shirt. This man was obviously a loose cannon. He was not to be trusted. Here is another picture of him sporting my Driven By Boredom sticker.
This very same night something else cool happened. I finally convinced a girl to try on my nipple clamps. I have been carrying them around with me every where trying to get someone to try them on, but to no avail. This night I got not one, but TWO girls to try them on. It seems when you get one girl to do it, her friends will follow. Hopefully I can get more pictures and start a nipple clamp gallery, but I don't know how likely that is of happening. Click to enlarge.
I am working on another article for Stile that will not be posted here, so you might wanna check out the Project for it.
I have to give a shout out to Troma. One of my favorite movie companies hooked me up yesterday. They sent me all these cool promotional flyers for like 50 movies. You will defiantly see these in up coming contests and ebay items. So yeah, go to Troma and buy everything from them. And make sure you tell them that Igor sent you.
It should be entertaining. Lastly I have a new ebay item staring my friend Barry. He is selling his International Policeman Badge. How exciting. Oh one more thing. Check out the Bored Blog... some funny shit has been posted recently.
