Driven By Boredom Dental Calendar

Cyber Monday is complete bullshit but maybe I just think that because I am terrible at capitalism. I feel the same way about consumerism as I do Photoshop, I hate it, but like maybe if I was good at it I would be more on board. I honestly have no idea, but I am here to try to sell you some shit anyway. Not at a discount mind you, because I am so bad at making money that my margins suck anyway so I can’t really give you a discount and I am not making enough money for me to care if you buy more shit. I just want you to buy it because I made it and I want people to have the stuff I made and I want to have less boxes in my living room.

So let’s get to it. Recently I mentioned my new zine Fuck LA and this mysterious project that I had created. Well, that project has officially been released and I have honestly sold most of them already (I only made 35) but it’s a callendar of people brushing their teeth because I have no idea why. 

At the end of 2017 someone emailed me about doing a calendar. Calendars seem silly because people have telephones now and because if you don’t sell them all my January first they are trash, but I had been working on my zine NOT SAFE and I realized I had a bunch of photos of girls brushing their teeth and I thought it would be hilarious to do a teeth brushing calendar and use a bunch of absurd anthropomorphic teeth clip art. So I found a place that does print on demand calendars, pulled and edit and found clip art. The problem was I only had 9 photos and I needed 12.

I immediately hit up all my favorite models that live near me and in two days I had shot Sabby, Lucy Everleigh and Sammy for the calendar. I was ready to go so I reached out to my friend Teddy to design the cover and throw some of the teeth clip art on there but he didn’t quite have time and we really ran out of time before Christmas so I put the project on hold for a year.

Last month I started up again. I had 12 photos ready to go, but one I didn’t really love and I happened to be shooting my friend Ashley and I asked her to let me take some of her brushing her teeth just in case and I ended up getting a really pretty black and white photo of her and the calendar was locked. I printed up 35 copies and bought a bunch of toothbrushes in bulk because I am a crazy person and here we are ready for you guys. 

The calendar features the four models I mentioned above plus musician/model Marz Lovejoy, pornstars Riley Reid, Stoya and Alexis Fawx, plus Anya Amsel, Kirra Hughes, Whit, and this girl Taylor who I don’t think I have seen since I took the photo and couldn’t find out how to contact her so she’s the only model who doesn’t have her birthday listed on the calendar. Half of the photos involve some nudity and 5 out of 12 photos are in black and white. They are all 35mm photos. The clip art is adorable. 

If you order a calendar it comes with a free toothbrush and a appointment reminder card because I am an idiot or brilliant I am not quite sure. Whatever the case it’s better than anything you can get from your dentist aside from healthy teeth and a more attractive face. Whatever. I am 100% sending my dentist one of these calendars too and if you have a calendar you can find out when my next dentist appointment is and then ask me how it goes when I show up for the appointment. 

Oh and I shot some digital test shots of Sabby, Lucy, Sammy and Ashley whilst I was shooting the calendar. I was both trying to figure out the best composition and making sure I had something in case the film didn’t come out, but fortunately it didn’t come to that because the digital shots are pretty bad. But if you do want to see the digital outtakes I uploaded them to Girls of Driven By Boredom so if you sign up for that you can see a bunch more of these photos. Also, you should still buy Fuck LA cause Cyber Monday or something. 

Click here to buy the 2019 Driven By Boredom Dental calendar!




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Cultural Traffic LA Arts Fair

If you are reading this I am in Los Angeles. I am in town for a few reasons but the important one is that on the 18th, that’s this Sunday, I am going to be at the Cultural Traffic Art Fair at That That Gallery. I will be selling my new zine Fuck LA (you should buy it!!) as well as Instaxxx, a bunch of other zines and prints and stuff. I am pretty psyched for it. 

That That Gallery is located at 4405 W Jefferson Blvd in Los Angeles and goes from 11am until 8pm. It’s completely free and there should be a ton of amazing stuff for sale there. I am splitting the table with my friends at Wood Rocket and they will have a bunch of weird things for sale like enamel pins, adult coloring books and new posters from vintage porn classics like Debbie Does Dallas and The Devil In Miss Jones. There are a bunch of great exhibitors as well including my friends at Paperwork NYC and rad publishers like Kill Your Idols and Richardson.

I don’t really have much more to mention in this post, but since I might not update again until after Thanksgiving (Gonna try and get some new pictures up this week but no promises) I figured I would give you guys something to hold you off. I took some photos of one of my friends dressed like a topless pigeon for some reason. I am not sure what I just said makes complete sense so let me explain. My friend asked me if I would take photos of her topless wearing a pigeon mask walking around NYC. We went to Times Square but it was raining so we went to Applebee’s like midwestern tourists and then finally took some photos of her topless hanging out with weird people who dress like the Statue of Liberty for money. The photos are real silly but she was happy with them and now you can look at them if you subscribe to Girls of Driven By Boredom. If you don’t then you are out of luck. It’s like $25 a year so I don’t know what you are doing not signing up.

I am gonna go hang out with my girlfriend now because we are celebrating our 1 year anniversary today. That’s pretty adorable right? Maybe you guys could look at the photos we ever took. I posted them right before we started dating officially so that’s extra cute. Sorry.

Okay, that’s enough. Here’s a flyer. See you guys sooner or later. 

Cultural Traffic LA

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Dolfans NYC Vs. Green Bay

I get it, you don’t care about these posts I do related to sports. You didn’t come here for that. Maybe you like football but you don’t care about the Dolphins or the fan club I run. Too bad. My guess is I am only going to post about them one more time this year, but it’s just something you are going to have to deal with. Sorry.

Because they are in different conferences the Dolphins only play the Green Bay Packers once every four years. Every eight years the game is in Green Bay. Green Bay is the smallest market in the NFL by far (only 100k people live there) but they have won the most football championships in the NFL. *Of course that’s because they are one of only three teams to have been around for 100 years and the NFL didn’t exist until 1966 and didn’t exist as it does now until 1970, and they’ve only won two Super Bowls since then but don’t tell them that.) Lambeau is one of the oldest Stadiums in the NFL and is a bucket list item for every NFL fan. Most of the seats are still bleachers and it’s home to the coldest football game in NFL history. The Super Bowl trophy is even named after their legendary coach Vince Lombardi.

Anyway, as soon as the schedule came out a group of us got tickets to the game and that group got bigger and bigger as the season went on. After people heard we were going they started asking us about tailgating options since we throw this huge tailgate whenever the Dolphins play in New Jersey so I kinda felt like I had to do something, but I was so busy I kept putting it off until we were about a week away from the game.

Fortunately a former Miami Dolphins beat writer reached out to me to ask about tailgating. He heard a guy named Ace had a great location about a block away from the stadium so I reached out to Ace to see what his plans were. He is the manager of a store called Extreme Audio in Manitowoc, WI (home to Making a Murder – I actually went to Avery Auto Salvage!) and asked his boss if when the Dolphins played the Packers he could use the Green Bay location to throw a tailgate. Extreme Audio serves as a parking lot during Packers games so his boss said as long as he could still sell the parking spaces Ace could tailgate there. 

It seemed like a perfect solution so I offered to buy 7 parking spaces that we could tailgate in as well as some money to pay for food. I reached out to Sailor Jerry and got them to send us some rum to make spiked hot apple cider. I posted on our social about the parking spaces and sold all of them in advance of the game in 24 hours and got the word out to hundreds of Dolphins fans who had made the trip. Ace did all the hard work and got all the food and booze and we went from a small tailgate into a massive event in just five days!

We asked everyone who showed up to throw in $10 if they wanted to eat food and although we bought a couple cases of beer it was mostly BYOB. In the end we raised over $1000 and donated $800 of that for the local Toys 4 Tots! Dolfans NYC is a non profit so we didn’t take any money back, but we gave the $200 to Ace for his extra expenses. Overall it was a great day (at least until the game started).

Lambeau was an amazing experience (although I wouldn’t want to sit in freezing temperatures on cold metal benches very often) and we even did a tour of the stadium the night before which was a lot of fun. I took a handful of shots from the tour and the rest of the photos here are from the tailgate the next day. If for some reason you made it this far you probably actually want to see the photos so let’s get on with it.

Click here to see all the photos from the Dolfans NYC trip to Green Bay and Lambeau Field.

Dolfans NYC Vs Green Bay

Dolfans NYC Vs Green Bay

Dolfans NYC Vs Green Bay

Dolfans NYC Vs Green Bay

Dolfans NYC Vs Green Bay 

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Fuck LA

I recently got invited to be part of the Cultural Traffic art fair on the 18th in LA and it seemed like the perfect excuse to get out to LA for the first time in over a year. It also just so happens that my girlfriend is going to be there right before the fair and today is our one year anniversary so the timing was perfect for me to actually see her this month. My brother lives in LA so my parents are gonna come out too and we are gonna spend Thanksgiving together outside of DC for the first time in my life I think. But the important thing (for the purposes of this post) is that I have some new stuff coming out and you should buy it.

The first thing I have coming out has nothing to do with the LA trip. Over a year ago I had a really dumb idea and the timing wasn’t quite right but I held on to this idea until it was finally ready. I just got a box of 35 copies of whatever this dumb idea is. I have already sold about a dozen of them without telling anyone what it is and I only need to sell about 5 or 6 more to break even so I feel like this dumb idea was worth it. Everyone I have shown it to seemed to really enjoy it so maybe you will too. If you order it before I announce what it is (on November 18th), you get a free copy of my new zine as well, plus I will ship it to you before I leave for LA and you will get it and the zine in your hands before anyone else.

Speaking of the zine, this whole post is about the 2nd edition of my zine Fuck LA

Fuck LA was a special edition zine that I only made 50 copies of for the LA Art Book Fair a few years ago. It sold out really quickly and was hand numbered and came with a print. I was pretty proud of the zine and when this new book fair came out it seemed like a great reason to republish the zine.

I figured I would maybe remove a few photos and add a few more, but when I looked at it again I realized that a bunch of the photos were reused in my zine NOT SAFE and there were some photos I didn’t love or ones I didn’t really feel like I wanted to republish. Even so, I left in some of the crazier shit that is way more graphic than any of the stuff I post on here. So let’s just say it is very not safe for work.

The new edition ended up being more than 50% new photos and I even added 4 pages. Fuck LA was my largest zine to begin with and now it’s 56 pages! I actually have to charge $12 for it instead of $10 because it’s so long. It has a ton of new work and I added some black and white spreads which weren’t in the original. It’s still all 35mm and it still has some of my favorite photos from all my trips to LA over the years. It’s got a bunch of nude stuff but it also has a bunch of just crazy fucked up LA stuff like the time I saw a bunch of people get arrested at gunpoint while I was eating at a diner. It’s a really fun zine and even people who own the first edition will enjoy the new one. It’s not signed or numbered and it doesn’t come with a print but there’s only 100 copies and I don’t plan on publishing it again. Plus if you pre-order the zine I will sign it anyway.

So if you order Fuck LA now I will sign it and ship it as soon as I get back from LA. If you order the mystery item you will get it and the signed zine BEFORE I leave for LA. Plus I will include some weird shit with it because I love you.

Click here to pre-order the mystery item and the zine.

And click here to pre-order Fuck LA by itself.

Fuck LA


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2018 Exxxotica New Jersey

Over the weekend I went to the 2018 Exxxotica NJ adult convention. It’s an event I have covered way too many times but it’s always fun to see everyone and I usually get some fun shots in a random hotel room after the convention is over. The last two years I was actually working for Exxxotica because my friend Steve Prue is their house photographer and he needed someone to cover a few things for him. This year they didn’t need me but my friend Veda offered me a ride and the hotels were super cheap so I decided to go even though I was just shooting for myself. 

On Friday I spent most of the time just saying hi to people and introducing Veda and her friend Kitty to people and really just hanging out. I took maybe 20 usable photos on the first day. On day two I knew I wanted to shoot more so I spent most of the day on my own shooting and ended up with a decent gallery even though it was decidedly lazy. I mostly just shot my friends and then some random sniping when I saw good fan/star interaction. So here I am once again apologizing for my photos even though I should probably pretend I am the shit since most people can’t tell good photography from bad photography anyway so it doesn’t really matter.

Outside of the actual convention I think I probably got some fun stuff. The first night we didn’t get into much but I did end up shooting Veda and Kitty in our hotel room. I mostly shot 35mm stuff, but I did shoot a handful of digital shots too. The light just sucked so I focused mostly on shooting with my flash on my 35mm point and shoot and some black and white as well. Since the digital stuff is pretty mediocre, but the girls are fun to look at, I decided I would just make that shoot an exclusive to Girls of Driven By Boredom, so if you want to see them naked in a hotel room go sign up now. 

The second night was fun. I was waiting for a friend to hit me up about shooting in her hotel room, but never heard back so I was ready to give up and head back to the city when Veda got a text from someone telling her we should come by the Inked Angels Awards after party. We figured we would check it out quickly and then head back to Brooklyn. When we got there the after party was over but we ended up hanging out with a bunch of drunk tattooed porn peoples, got a White Castle Crave Case (30 burgers!) and ended up partying in Johnny Gash’s hotel room. That’s a horrifying porn name, but we were pretty much wearing the same outfit so I appreciate him anyway. I hope a bunch of the 35mm stuff comes out because it was a weird fucking night. We probably drove back around 3am or something and missed out on day 3 of the convention because I had to watch football because my life is weird. None of this really matters, but I still have a bunch of convention photos for you to look at below. 

Click here to see all the photos from the 2018 Exxxotica New Jersey convention at the New Jersey Convention and Exposition Center.

2018 Exxxotica NJ

2018 Exxxotica NJ

2018 Exxxotica NJ

2018 Exxxotica NJ

2018 Exxxotica NJ

2018 Exxxotica NJ

2018 Exxxotica NJ

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