My Birthday @ Trash – 5.29.09

Last night I got drunk and made out with a lot of girls. 23 to be exact (Including 2 lesbians and an albino!). That is one more than the record of 22 set on my birthday in 2007. Now, that was fun and all, and I had a good time seeing everyone, but there is a reason I don’t drink… It is because I don’t like drinking. I had 4 shots of 100 Proof rum before I left my house and by the time I had my second drink at Trash I was pretty gone. I was enjoying myself until I had to spend the next hour of my life trying to find people, get people in and get 20 year old girls fake ID’s back for them. Around 2AM I was getting sober and waiting for a bottle of Vodka that never came. Around 3:30 I gave up and did another shot, but it all seemed sort of pointless. I was sort of in a bad mood and just got tired. It is pretty clear I am getting old. Shit, I didn’t even get a cake, you bastards.

So, let me thank the people who did come and tell the handful of people who asked me to be on their list and didn’t come to fuck yourselves. And to the last dozen or so girls I kissed, here is hoping we don’t have herpes… but if I don’t get sick it will be a damn miracle. And while I didn’t get my bottle, any presents or a damn cake, I have to thank DJ Jess for finally posing topless for me… He knew that was all I really wanted.

Anyway, I just wanted to mention the reason these pictures suck is because knowing I would be wasted I brought out my old camera which I could barely remember how to work in my state of intoxication and I accidentally grabbed a broken lens that doesn’t autofocus. So the fact that as many of these came out at all is a testament to my brilliance and photographic genius. I just wish I had my real camera to shoot Team Robespierre and Yoji the Asian Michael Jackson. They were both way fun and kinda brilliant. Someone said to me after Team Robespierre played that “It smells like Willamsburg in here.” Hilarious.

And now you just need to click here to see the terrible photos from my anticlimactic yet still mostly fun birthday. This gallery is safe for work despite some nudity, but I was too drunk to ask if I could put the photos online or not. Better safe than sorry… Sorry.

My 30th is going to be my last party for a decade, but it is going to be a big one. See you there.

Update: Here are Nicky Digital’s shots from the night.  You can see what a failed attempt at curling my hair looks like.

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Heavy Trash With Jon Spenser – 5.28.09

 As you read yesterday Jon Spenser of Blues Explosion fame has an amazing Rockabilly group called Heavy Trash.  They played the Friends and Family opening of Beauty Bar Brooklyn on Thursday.  They were pretty fantastic.  The highlight of their set had to be when they brought the whole crowd outside and played on a car in the pouring rain.  Unfortunately my flash was dying and by the time I changed batteries they were headed inside.  I only got a few shots off but fortunately I got a shot of the cop who rolled past while they were outside with about 100 other people watching and clapping their hands. The cop just kept going though. I guess you can get away with a lot in Bushwick… Unless you are waiving a gun in the air or stabbing something they have better things to do.  Anyway it was a great set and a great way to kick off the new Beauty Bar location.

PS.  The terrible photos I took last night at my birthday extravaganza should be up late tonight.

Click here for all the Heavy Trash photos.

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Beauty Bar Brooklyn – 5.28.09

Beauty Bar had a friends and family pre opening tonight for their new Brooklyn location. They have opening parties available to the public tonight and tomorow, but clearly you can’t make it tonight because you will be at my party at Webster Hall. The new Beauty Bar is in Bushwick, just 3 stops away from me on the JMZ. It is right by the Myrtle stop. Fortunately it is really close, because it is not the safest hood. I am sure it will be fine, but just be safe about it.

So last night they had an open vodka and beer bar all night and Jon Spencer’s amazing Rockabilly band Heavy Trash played. They were fucking awesome, but more on them, and the shots from their set tomorrow (assuming I am not in jail after tonight). Last night was really fun and the place was packed. At midnight I had a BIG shot of grape vodka and danced to James Brown for a bit. I am not really a dancer, but with soul music playing all night I had to get into it. There were some fun appearances last night like Andy Rourke from the Smith’s and the worlds second hottest photographer (Clearly I am #1) Ellen Stagg. All the Beauty Bar regulars were there as were several other down town bar owners. It was just a great party. And the best part is that the new Beauty Bar is a block away from a 24 Hour Popeyes so after I finished dancing and taking photos I got a 2 piece and a Mardi Gras cheese cake from a dude named Balla. Unfortunately he forgot my Red Beans & Rice, but I will let that slide this once.

Okay, here are the shots from the party last night. And like I said, shots of Heavy Trash will be up tomorrow. See a lot of you guys tonight.

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Happy Birthday Me

I looked everywhere for a picture of me in a party hat.  That photo just does not exist.  I thought about writing a post about the crazy things that have happened to me the last few birthday’s I have had, but most of them involve me falling down a lot and making out with strange ladies.  I had a pretty great dance party in the street for my 26th and got kicked out of bars on my 23rd and 24th.  I got the hell beat out of me on my 22nd which was the only birthday since my 20th that I have spent sober.  You see the first time I ever drank in my life was my 21st birthday.  I had 13 shots of Markers Mark and while I did cry at some point, I didn’t puke, pass out or get hung over.  Since then, I have gotten destroyed every birthday and New Years Eve since (except for my 22nd).  Other than that I don’t drink at all.  So… the point being I am going to be drinking tomorrow and you should come hang out with me. If you are a cute lady, please come make out with me, if only for a second, as it is tradition. This is also going to be the first time I have photographed my own birthday, so hopefully I won’t break my camera.  I think I am going to bring out my back up… So please come to Trash tomorrow at Webster Hall. Mention this site for reduced ($5) admission at The Studio entrance. There is a 50% chance I will be wearing a wet suit and a 17% chance I will shave my head or something stupid like that. Fun times.

Here is the Facebook invite for more info.

And for content’s sake… here is a video of me chugging a beer… but you are going have to get through footage of me swallowing a hot dog and acting insufferable first…

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Disco Down – 5.26.09

Let’s start by saying last night was not my birthday party. People keep telling me happy birthday. But just because you came out yesterday when I was hosting does not get you off the hook for skipping my party Friday… I am just sayin…

So yeah, last night I hosted and it was a bunch of fun. When I woke up today I though these photos were going to be really good… And that is not to say they are bad, but t hey just seemed better when I was taking them. I was having fun though.

I met some cool new people last night, including an old school SG who seemed pretty rad, and I had a bunch of people who came out who I had not seen in a while. It was good to see everyone, even though my old VA girls rolled out 20 min after I got there even though I gave them drink tickets…

I feel like I have more to say, but I think I will just post the photos and just move on. Click here if you wanna see the fun times at Disco Down and Six Six Sick at Happy Endings.

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Your First Warning…

Friday. I turn 29. Things will get crazy. Watch the fuck out. Igor + Booze = Madness.

You have been warned.

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Weekend Update

Fuck, it is a lazy Memorial Day weekend.  Everyone is BBQing and hanging out in the sun while I am sitting in my apartment working on shit that should have been done months ago.  But hey, at least it is done now… well some of it.  Clearly you have no idea what I am talking about but let’s just say that I am pretty jealous of my roommate being passed out drunk by 8 PM the last two days.  And while I don’t drink, I am envious of day time parties which I miss out on due to my sleep schedule that currently puts me in bed closer to noon than midnight (I slept from 1230-5pm Sunday).  Anyway, I am taking easy, not shooting much cause I have some partying to do this week.  I am hosting at Happy Endings on Tuesday and my birthday is on Friday and I am shooting the opening of the new Brooklyn Beauty Bar on Saturday for the Voice.  Plus I have to be at Dance Class on Thursdays, I am hearing rumors of naked black girls… And I am all over that.  Sorry for this rant, I am on very little sleep.  Before I get to the meat of this post, and it is slightly meaty, I just wanted to mention my birthday one more time.

Friday.  The Studio at Webster Hall.  I will be drunk.  I don’t drink except twice a year, and when I do, it is out of control.  If you have never seen me drunk, it is something to behold.  Let’s just put it this way… there is a reason I don’t drink daily.  That’s all for now.  Facebook invites and annoying texts, twitters and instant messages forthcoming.

Okay, so I have some videos to drop on you guys as I like to do from time to time and Memorial Day seems like the perfect day to do it.

Let’s start with the plug… Burning Angel recently expanded their brand with a bunch of new hardcore porn video sites.  Now while I like having naked girls on here, I try to keep this site way from actual porn because I get really sick of people who I have never met before asking me about the porn site I run.  I am pretty sure there is a big difference between a few boobs here and there and the shit my friends at Burning Angel are doing.  That being said, as part of the promotion of one of their new brands, BigBoobsAreCool.com they made a funny, safe for work trailer where my friend Misti (as seen on DBB) cures swine flu with her boobs.  That is impressive I think.  Plus talking about BA gives me a reason to plug my friend’s excellent interview with Joanna Angel.  So read that, and watch this, and sign up for this.

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Next, let’s talk about torture.  This is probably not the paragraph you would normally expect to follow a plug about porn, but fuck it, it is Memorial Day.  Let’s get serious.  I am a liberal, and in my younger punk rock days, I was pretty fucking far left.  But even then, when I was at protests and talking bullshit about whatever crazy punk rockers talk about, I was still firmly a patriot.  Even with all the bullshit that is going on in our country I am proud as hell to be an American and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.  So as a Patriot I am fucking incensed when I see us doing things that I believe are completely contrary to what America is all about.  Despite all the horrible things we have done as a country, we are still at least supposed to pretend to be the good guy, at least feign like we are taking the higher road.  This torture shit is fucking insane.  I think it is pretty clear if you listen to any reasonably impartial person that torture does not work and even if it can work, we shouldn’t be using it.  We are part of the Geneva Convention… We are America.  We DO NOT TORTURE. Even some of the most wacky right wing guys agree with me there.  Their disagreement is all about the definition of torture… and more specifically is waterboarding torture? It seems the answer to this question lines up almost exactly on party lines, with every single person with a (R) by their name saying it is not. One of these right wing talking heads is Howard Stern wannabe shock jock Mancow.  Mancow and I go way back because he interviewed me in 2003 about this site.  Now while I can’t stand the guy, I have to give him a lot of credit for putting his money where his mouth is.  Last week he decided to try to prove to his listeners that waterboarding was not torture.  He failed miserably. He lasted less than 10 seconds and instantly admitted that he was wrong and that it was torture.  And keep in mind while watching this video that this is not close to as bad as actual waterboarding.  He knows that he can make it stop at any minute… He has not been sleep deprived; he is not bound and blind folded and he knows that his life is not actually at risk.  Also keep in mind when you are being waterboarded professionally they put a wet gag in your mouth so it is impossible to breath or scream.  Now, after keeping all that in mind, enjoy this clip.

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Lastly, to end on a lighter note… when I met my friend Teddy (as mentioned in the last update, and many others) I did not know a damn thing about design, and certainly not about furniture design.  However after spending days and nights on the road, in the recording studio and just hanging out with the guy for 6 years I have had no choice but to become an amateur design snob. I find myself critiquing restaurant menus and yelling to myself about clothing boutiques not kerning their Helvetica. One of the biggest things that has rubbed off on me is his interest in modern furniture design.  Keep in mind I don’t have sheets on my bed, thrifted both my couches and am basically sitting on a milk crate as I type this… all the while dreaming of the day when I am going to own an Eames Lounge chair.  Teddy actually has an Eames chair tattooed on his right arm.  It is his only tattoo.  He got it for himself when he turned 20.  He told me when he turns 40 he is going to get the Lounge on his left arm.  Hopefully by then I will have one in my living room….  The below video is footage of the debut of the Eames Lounge chair.  It is an amazing interview with Charles Eames and is about 11 minutes of chair porn.  If you have no interest in this what-so-ever if nothing else watch them put the chair together around the 9 minute mark.  It is pretty sensational.

Okay, so that is it.  This post took me 53 minutes to write and I still haven’t added in the hot links yet.  This is what happens when I forget to sleep.  I write pages and pages of poorly written madness. Enjoy your holiday today.  I’m out.

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Morrissey Turns 50 @ Trash – 5.22.09

Okay, so maybe Morrissey wasn’t there, and maybe I am a day late with these photos, but that is fucking life.

The Trash/Music Slut Morrissey party was a ton of fun despite my hatred of the Smiths and Mr. Moz.  The night opened up with my boy Teddy Blanks doing some Morrissey covers followed up by a band called A Brief Smile doing a few more.  Like I said I am not a big Morrissey fan, but at least I had heart the first Smiths cover that Teddy did.  If nothing else it was amazing to see Teddy on stage for the first time since the Gaskets broke up over a year ago.  I cannot wait until his first solo show doing his own music.  His EP is pretty fantastic.

After the covers was back to normal party mode except for the bloggers that the Music Slut broke out and the fact that it is Fleet Week so there were sailors everywhere… and then there was the bachelorette party that showed up and my Gods Girl friend Erin showed up with a bunch of tattooed kids which made for quite the interesting night.

Later in the evening DJ Jess came out of no where and did his own Smiths cover before he introduced a girl who did this pretty amazing hula-hoop routine while taking her clothes off.  After that madness Stormy Leather came out and got completely naked and smashed a birthday cake with a sledge hammer before rubbing it all over herself and then throwing it in to the crowd.  I smelled like icing for the rest of the night.

Finally there was a Morrissey lip-sync contest which featured 3 of my friends and a guy who was basically too fucked up to stand.  My friend Melissa who is leaving town sadly kicked some ass but in the end it came down to the very sexy Justina Flash and the Moz-obsessed technical show from the Music Slut’s own Matt Gross.  I sort of felt if he won the contest was rigged, but he actually was the best and his Morrissey tattoo won it for him in the end.

It was a crazy night and after a bunch of us went to a diner where we met possibly the cutest waitress I have ever seen.  I was going to ask her to marry me but some how while making change $20 were lost and it got super dramatic.  I am pretty sure we didn’t steal it though…

Anyway, there are a lot of rad photos and you can see them all by clicking here.  And FYI they are super NSFW due to Stormy and her naked cake smashing.  Adios.

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New York Tattoo Convention – 5.16.09

Inked Magazine had a booth at the New York Tattoo Convention at the Roseland Ballroom last weekend and asked me to come out and take photos.  I’ve been to several tattoo conventions, but this was the first time shooting one.  It is slightly and odd experience when you have guys who look like they are in a white power motorcycle gang pretty much beg you to take their photo.  Pretty much the scarier the people look the nicer they were about having their picture taken.  I was on zero sleep and I spent a lot of time hanging out at the Inked table, but I got some fun shots anyway.  A lot of the best stuff will be in Inked magazine.  But you can check out all the out takes by clicking here.

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Big fan of tattoos? Here’s a source for finding local tattoo events and conventions online.

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