Okay, so admittedly that title doesn’t make sense.  I realize that paparazzi is Italian and soy is Spanish… But I don’t speak Italian and my abilities in Spanish past the Taco Bell menu are suspect.  But I do know most of the lyrics to La Bamba and Richie Valens, No soy marinero, pero, soy capitan, soy capitan. So there for, this makes sense some how.

The point is I make for a shitty paparazzo.  When I had down time at Sundance it was usually only for an hour or two so it never made sense to try to see a movie or do anything outside of the downtown area so I would just hang out on Main Street and see if I could shoot some random celebs.  I just sort of practiced being involved with the paparazzi.  I met a bunch of the guys and shot some photos.  My shot of Amy Poehler got picked up, but didn’t sell, the rest I had no luck with.  I am just not cut out for harassing these people.  And these photographers told me to get shots that don’t even make sense to my esthetic.  Evidently they want full body shots and people waving at you and things.  I don’t know.  They were stalking people I have never even heard of, yet they had no idea who Rob Corddry was.  That is just not right.  I missed shots of Perry Ferrell and Paul Giamatti because I had my settings wrong and Michael Cera told me not to take his photo, so I didn’t.  It was sort of a disaster.  Running after Kristen Stewart from Twilight was pretty fun though.  I had no idea who she was but when everyone started running I got to jump over some stuff.  The shots I got of her sucked, but at least I got to make believe like I was chasing after Michael Jackson or something.

I did have a few good shots though.  I got some good ones of Wesley Snipes and Guillermo del Toro speaking in spanish to eachother.  I talked to Rob Corrdry about his show the Winner.  I got to briefly talk to Kelli Garner, who I spent an hour googling after I saw her in Thumbsucker several years ago.  I saw the only two funny cast members of SNL (Poehler and Bill Hader) and shot Sam Rockwell and Liam Nielson while talking to a friend who was working the door at the Gibson lounge.

The best shot I got (which I found hilarious, but evidently no one cares about) was of Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild fame hugging a bunch of small children.  This guy is a convicted child pornographer.  Okay, maybe that is a slight exaggeration, but I am not sure why anyone would let him near their kids. The parents thought it was hilarious, as did everyone else.  When he saw me take the shots, he said “This is going to get me in trouble isn’t it?”  Well, evidently not.  No one cares enough about Joe Francis… But as far as I am concerned Joe, it was the shot of the week.

Click here to see my failed attempt at stalking celebrities for money.

PS.  This is the last of my Sundance shots.  It only took me three weeks to get them all up!  On to new adventures now… That is if I can get my gallery software to start working properly again.

Comments (1)