Saturday At The AEE – 1.10.09

Day two in Vegas. I wake up and I can’t talk. My voice is gone, I feel like hell and I can’t stop coughing. I also slept until 3 PM because of all the cough syrup I drank. My lips are chapped because of the dry weather and the tap water sucks so I am completely dehydrated. Amazing. So I get my shit together quick and make it down to the Adult Entertainment Expo for the last hour and a half of the day. I didn’t get a lot of shots, but I met that dude Dennis from the Bunny Ranch who was pretty amusing. These photos are the worst of the trip. Day thee is a bit better. I just really wish I had my other computer with me. I will probably reedit these when I get home.

Anyway, after the AEE I decided to sleep through the Awards Show because I hear it is tediously boring. I took a nap at 8 and accidentally woke up at 1:30 AM. I went down to the Circle Bar at the Venetian and ran into Joanna Angel and James Deen. She was really sad because she didn’t win any awards after being nominated for a ton. Everyone was real upset for her. It sucked. Her boyfriend James however took home Male Performer of the Year which is a pretty big deal and we are all very proud of him, despite the fact that he is often a dick to me when he is drunk. After that I met up with Zui and we went to this Fetish party that DJ Jess was DJing. I went to it last year and it was fucking insane. This year I ended up staying much later and things got even crazier.

I saw many, many people having sex. Sex in every bathroom, in the shower, on the beds, on the floor. I only saw one person use a condom though. And that was a threesome on one of the beds. One of the rooms had this vacuum thing on it where you could go into it and they would suck out all the air and it would look like you are Han Solo when he got frozen in carbonite. Then girls rub on you and you breath through a tube. Everyone just watched everyone fuck. People were whipping everyone and there was a stripper pole where people would just take turns stripping. There was also a big spiderweb that people tied themselves too and got tortured for fun. It was pretty amazing. All sorts of fetishes were being carried out all over the place. I saw the biggest penis I have ever seen. These two black dudes were double teaming this older blonde chick with giant fake boobs. I stood around with like 5 people watching two people have anal sex in the shower. It was pretty out of control. You couldn’t take photos, and I respected that for the most part, but there was this girl who I wanted to shoot who I met the night before so we went into a bathroom and did a few shots. Then later I met this amazing girl named Tuesday who grabbed me and made out with me. An hour later she lost her phone, so I called it until someone answered it. She rewarded me with a pretty hot and drunken photo shoot that you will see later. Lastly, I saw this porn star fucking someone and then she just sort of stopped because she was so fucking wasted. She sat down next to me and tried to put on her latex outfit but she was in the shower earlier and it was wet and she couldn’t get it on. So me and like 4 other people tried to help her. I thought they had it under control so I left. 45 min later I came back and she still hadn’t put her pants on. She was so fucking wasted. Her friend brought her a water and she was like “Is this water? Because I want more booze.” This was like 7 AM. At noon that day I saw her signing autographs at the convention. That is fucking championship. She told me that she didn’t remember any of it, but evidently she ordered eggs for breakfast and evidently she is vegan. I think I sort of fell in love. I left the party at 830 AM and ate breakfast with Jess and Tre. Morgan Dayne was sitting next to us and we talked to her about her AVN Awards dress. Then I checked out, and went back to the AEE. Fun.

Okay, check out the shots from Saturday at the AEE here.

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Friday At The AEE – 1.9.08

Okay.  So here we go.  Day one of my Vegas trip.

I woke up sick 5 minutes after I wanted to leave my apartment to go to the airport.  This was not a good start to my 2 week adventure.  Luckily I had packed the night before and I was out the door in under 15 minutes.  I made the plane before they even boarded.  5.5 hours later I landed in Las Vegas with about 5 emails, 2 voice mails and several texts about my attempted trip to Sundance.  I was waiting on one big gig, so I had not confirmed the two smaller ones that I was stupidly counting on.  By the time I landed one of the two had pulled out, and the other needed confirmation in the next 30 minutes.  I called the bigger gig and it did not look good.  So I had to cancel. So with that, my Sundance plans were shot within a half hour of landing.  So I got my shit together and headed over to the rental car place, who charged me over $100 more for their car than they promised via internets. And then they told me if I wanted to return the car a day early, they were going to have to charge me even more money. The guy was a total prick.  When I told him that it was insane to charge me more money to return the car early, he looked completely confused.

So then I get to my hotel… “Hi Mr. Smith.  So you are checking out Sunday and you wanted double beds smoking?” “Um, I wanted one bed non-smoking.”  “Oh, I am sorry, we can do that for an extra $70 a night.”   Jesus.  I get to the room and I start coughing at once.  It is the most horrible smoke filled room I have ever encountered.  After sleeping there one night, I woke up with my eyes burning red and I had lost my voice.  And the sheets were not made, the shower and the bath run at the same time and the room was very small.  And I had paid $10 extra a night for a better room.  I can’t imagine how bad the cheaper room was.  So, fuck the Imperial Palace.  Don’t stay there. Ever.

So I finally get my shit together, do the press check in and get on the floor of the Adult Entertainment Expo (AEE).  This is just a huge room filled with booth after booth of sex related things.  Mostly porn companies in the front, but towards the back there are booths for hookers, strippers, sex toys and a lot of ugly clothes that only the biggest manor of scum bag would wear. (Discounting the rad kids at the I <3 Vagina booth).   Kid Rock was there and he spent the whole time taking picture after picture with porn fans.  It was sort of impressive how much shit he put up with.  I met a bunch of people and saw a lot of friends.  One of the girls I met was a stripper from Vegas who was pretty rad and we snuck off to my hotel and took some dirty photos.  They will be up one of these days.

As far as the photos go, a few notes.  I edit my photos normally on my PC.  I have a program set up to do a batch thing that does a few things to the images to make them look nicer.  I attempted to do the same thing on this laptop and they did not come out very well. Combine that with the fact that don’t really know how to use my new flash as well as I should and the photos are a bit on the shitty side.  Still, they are pretty fucking nuts, so at least you got that.  There is technically no nudity on the floor, but these shots are still pretty blatantly NSFW.

Click for photos.

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Burning Angel AVN Party – 1.9.08

So I said yesterday that I was going to get these photos up today, and by god I will. Unfortunately I spent ALL DAY figuring out my Sundance plans. I had to find a place to stay (it is going to cost me $700 to be there for 5 days!) and figure out my flights and all that stuff. Then I shot Burning Angel’s own Envy (Amore on Gods Girls) in the insanely creepy Motel I am staying at. The light was not quite good enough to shoot without flash, so I didn’t get exactly what I wanted, but there are probably some good shots.

Anyway, the Burning Angel party was at Beauty Bar in LA. I like the space, but not as much as the one in NYC. They also played a lot of aggressive house there which would make BB’s NYC Michael Stewart start punching people. The party was fun, not much nudity, but a bit… so NSFW. This French Canadian porn star told me I was beautiful* and a local girl got insanely drunk and pretty much decided I was the best thing ever. Luckily her friend helped her get her shit together and my guess is she made it home alive. They were rad kids. She wants to be a Suicide Girl… I told her to talk to Joanna instead. Speaking of SG, Zui Suicide was there and we bonded. She’s from VA and evidently she is on some reality show featuring Paris Hilton that I have never heard of, but I am sure I should have. After the party, I went to the Circle Bar and didn’t talk to Regan Reece even though I am sort of in love with her. Okay, I have really shitty internet and lots of things to do, so check out the pictures and I will get back to you as soon as I can with the write ups from the rest of the Vegas trip.

Oh yeah, special shout out to the local Vegas version of DBB, IndieKrush.

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Vegas Photo Update

I’ve been in an internet cafe in LA for over 3 hours now and it is dark out and I need to leave. So I am just going to give you one update with all of the AEE pictures. I am going to expand this soon. Hopefully tonight. Then tomorrow I will try to get up the Burning Angel After party pictures and then I have 3 sets of naked girls for you too. They will go up later. Not sure when…. I should be shooting some girls in LA but my Sundance plans may come through after all and I may have to leave LA earlier than I thought. I guess we will just have to see what happens. I have 3-5 shoots planned. Let’s hope I get some of them done. This is a porn convention, so clearly these photos are not exactly family friendly.

Update: The photos are all up in separate updates now.  These links below I am going to keep up, but they now link to the posts and not the galleries.

AEE Friday Photos

AEE Saturday Photos

AEE Sunday Photos

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Vegas.

I am kinda sick, and have had a rough couple of days.  My Sundance plans are all but ruined.  There is only about 4% chance that I make it to Park City at this point.  My rental car ended up costing way more than I thought it would and the desert air is brutal on my skin and newly chapped lips.  I am super busy and exhausted and have not shot anything TOO exciting.  A few boobs, Kid Rock and the guy is on the HBO show about a whore house.  I have a long drive to LA tomorrow and I am not sure when I will have internet, but hopefully I will get some shots up sooner rather than later.  I gotta go out now.  Hopefully something nuts will happen tonight.  You never know… Oh, did I mention my shitty hotel room that smells like cigarettes and makes me cough ever 5 seconds and because of it I lost my voice?  Oh yeah, that is awesome.  Grrr…

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Playhouse – 1.7.08

So yesterday was total bullshit.  I waited for an hour in a line for the second day at a row at the post office to be once again told that they couldn’t find my package.  Then my insurance company decided not to cover my sleeping pills for some reason this month.  And then I went to Cain and right as I was about to leave this drunk girl told me I was her boyfriend and started making out with me.  When I told her I had to leave she got kinda annoyed.  I turned to my friend and kissed her on the cheek goodbye and the girl fucking lost her shit and started screaming at me.  She slapped me like 4 times.  I sort of thought she was joking and kept telling her it was nice to meet her, but she just kept yelling about how she was going to ruin me and how much hotter she was than that girl and how she was going to smash my camera and bring a law suit against me.  When I turned to leave she stuck her finger in my ear.  I also took a nap yesterday, evidently in the middle of eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich because I woke up with jelly all over my pillow.  Fucking classic.

Anyway, I am leaving town on this crazy trip in a few hours and I need to sleep, so dig on these photos from Cain last night and try not to mind the lack of updates over the next while.  I might not post as often, but the posts should be fucking awesome.  There are a lot of hot girls in Vegas and LA.  Sundance should be cool too.  Okay.  See you soon.  I’ll be updating Twitter often.  Follow me. Oh, just an FYI these photos run a bit dark because I was experimenting with a new flash.  It is what it is.

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Riana

Riana had her 21st birthday last Monday and I was there. She tricked me into coming by promising me she would get drunk enough to take off her clothes. Now despite what you may think, I try not to take photos of people who are too fucked up, and if I do, I make sure when they are sober and agreeable to the photos before posting them. Riana was agreeable sober even before we took them, so I didn’t really think too much about it before I pulled her into the bathroom. A number of people were with us and they were totally distracting so she wasn’t really posing right. Then she fell down and ripped up her back on a pipe. It was brutal. So we never actually got her naked, but a few of the shots are pretty hot anyway… She liked them. Maybe not our best work. Maybe we will shoot again some time. Maybe safe for work.

Update: We tried to continue the set on Valentines Day in the same exact bathroom with similar results.

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10 Links

I got a big photo job today and I am working on that for most of the day. But it is keeping me from having to get a job for a few more weeks and keep me in LA for a few extra days next week. I signed up for unemployment today which was a first for me. Still tragically upset about the fucking Dolphins. So let’s take a break from all the party photos and have 10 links that could possibly change your life.

1. I have a Twitter account. I am not exactly sure why, but I am told it is super important. Follow me or something.

2. I still have a Facebook group. I mentioned this before, but no one has really use this for anything, so go have a conversation or post some pictures or something. Once again, I have been told this is important.

3. I need money, you need a website. Isn’t it time you got a real website and quit that live journal or blogger bullshit? My host gives me money if you go to them after clicking on this link. They are good and cheap and I really need some money now that I am unemployed. Thanks. I also make money if you sign up to look at naked tattooed girls. Here, here, here, here and of course here.

4. Hipster Runoff is fucking redic. I am not sure why no one told me about this site before, but it is sort of out of control. What is going on with the world? And how does this site exist?

5. I am not sure if you guys are following this, but this homicidal santa story severely needs to be made into a movie. It would be far scarier than another Saw sequel.

6. I was just talking about this episode of This American Life about people who scam Nigerian 419 scammers. It is really amazing, so I figured I would post it here. It starts off talking about Hockey, but most of the episode is about getting even with email scammers.

7. I know the Dolphins lost, but I went to the Jets/Dolphins game last week, before they got killed, and it was magical. This is probably the best video about the Dolphins that has ever been on the internets. It is 15 minutes long and about football, but you should watch it anyway. It made me cry a little bit.

8. This link is super not safe for work, but did you know that scene kids are constantly sending each other naked pictures of each other and then posting them online for other scene kids to see? It is sort of insane, and it makes me wish that all this shit existed when I was 18.

9. This is god damned amazing. I think I would start drinking if I had one of these.

10. This might be easily the hottest video I have ever seen. I really only had 8 links, but I clicked over to Boing Boing and I found these last two. Sue me.

And that’s it. I’m out. See you guys after I finish this photo project. Oh, and for completely no reason, here is a picture I took of some pigeons.

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Trash – 1.2.09

I was going to write something about the night.  Maybe about how I am using my new flash, or how I took like 50 photos of the same girl because she has the best boobs I have ever been near and she kept talking to me about how she wasn’t wearing a bra, or maybe about Peppermint Gummibear’s insane Beyonce impersonation.  Unfortunately, the Dolphins shit the bed today.  Our savior, Chad Pennington threw 4 interceptions against the Ravens and we are now out of the playoffs.  Due to this, I am going to sleep for the next 12 hours and try to think back to 1pm today when everything was possible.  Now, I assume you too are in mourning, but if not, I guess you could take this time to look at all the lovely photos from Friday’s party at Webster Hall.

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