After the man talk update from yesterday I was reminded of some old video I have. I was working at a toy store and a Ben and Jerry’s during the summer between me dropping out of Penn State and transferring to Virginia Commonwealth University. I had recently started this site and I was trying to make a Driven By Boredom movie in the vein of CKY or something stupid like that. I kept filming my friends doing dumb ass shit. I have a lot of that footage, but a lot of it is just horrible, and a lot of it is stuff I shouldn’t put up and a lot of it I am just to lazy to edit.
One of the things I tried to do is arrange a fist fight, but not any fist fight, a fist fight in robot costumes. There was this kid Ian and he was a rad dude, but he was always talking shit like he was the worlds greatest fighter. I think we had found someone to fight him but at the last minute he chickened out. So I got all these people from Ben and Jerry’s to make these robot costumes, and found some kid who said he would fight Ian. He sort of was under the assumption that he was just going to get the fuck beat out of him, but he was okay with that. There was so much hype over this fight and on the day of everyone came down to the ally behind Ben and Jerry’s and we got ready to rumble. I was working at the toy store during the best time for the fight, so I stole some toy swords and ran over during my lunch break. We were all ready to go, but after a few punches all the costumes were off and Ian had his cartilage plug ripped out of his ear. He immediately quit because he didn’t want the other side to get ripped out. It was insanely disappointing; the whole thing only lasted three minutes. Unfortunately, I taped over two of those minutes so in the video is only the first round. If it makes you feel any better I taped over it with topless girls, but whatever, I digress.
So after that everyone was really pissed off, so I said I would take all comers. I had just cut my hair into a mullet, and I didn’t want my work clothes fucked up, so I stripped down to my boxers and fought this really cool girl named Ana. I am not sure why she said yes, but we went at it until her skirt started falling off, so I then gave her my pants. Being as she was a female and half my size I clearly did not fight her for real, but I did throw a couple of half speed punches at her head. It was pretty amusing. In the end I was victorious, and the world lived happily ever after.
Oh, and then she hit me with a shovel.
Please, relive the summer of 2001 with me, it was a glorious time.