Fighting Robots & Hitting Women

After the man talk update from yesterday I was reminded of some old video I have. I was working at a toy store and a Ben and Jerry’s during the summer between me dropping out of Penn State and transferring to Virginia Commonwealth University.  I had recently started this site and I was trying to make a Driven By Boredom movie in the vein of CKY or something stupid like that.  I kept filming my friends doing dumb ass shit.  I have a lot of that footage, but a lot of it is just horrible, and a lot of it is stuff I shouldn’t put up and a lot of it I am just to lazy to edit.

One of the things I tried to do is arrange a fist fight, but not any fist fight, a fist fight in robot costumes.  There was this kid Ian and he was a rad dude, but he was always talking shit like he was the worlds greatest fighter.  I think we had found someone to fight him but at the last minute he chickened out.   So I got all these people from Ben and Jerry’s to make these robot costumes, and found some kid who said he would fight Ian.  He sort of was under the assumption that he was just going to get the fuck beat out of him, but he was okay with that.  There was so much hype over this fight and on the day of everyone came down to the ally behind Ben and Jerry’s and we got ready to rumble.  I was working at the toy store during the best time for the fight, so I stole some toy swords and ran over during my lunch break.  We were all ready to go, but after a few punches all the costumes were off and Ian had his cartilage plug ripped out of his ear.  He immediately quit because he didn’t want the other side to get ripped out.  It was insanely disappointing; the whole thing only lasted three minutes.  Unfortunately, I taped over two of those minutes so in the video is only the first round.  If it makes you feel any better I taped over it with topless girls, but whatever, I digress.

So after that everyone was really pissed off, so I said I would take all comers.  I had just cut my hair into a mullet, and I didn’t want my work clothes fucked up, so I stripped down to my boxers and fought this really cool girl named Ana.  I am not sure why she said yes, but we went at it until her skirt started falling off, so I then gave her my pants.  Being as she was a female and half my size I clearly did not fight her for real, but I did throw a couple of half speed punches at her head.  It was pretty amusing.  In the end I was victorious, and the world lived happily ever after.

Oh, and then she hit me with a shovel.

Please, relive the summer of 2001 with me, it was a glorious time.

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Man Talk

Due to crippling depression stemming from the New England Patriots beating my Miami Dolphins I have not had it in me to update.  I must offer my apologies for that, and tell you that blogs will be coming soon.  I will be back in VA for a few days and I am sure I will have some time to get some oh-so-fun blogs up.  In the mean time, here is a video of Sean Connery talking about slapping women and my favorite scene in any James Bond movie ever, which the finding of led to finding the completely insane Connery interview.

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Trash – 11.21.08

So for whatever reason my settings were fucked up and when I ran all my images through my little filter thing I realized that my contrast was set too high, and has been since I went to Miami.  I am not sure how I noticed, probably because I liked the Girl Talk stuff so much, but I think that stuff could have been even better.  Anyway, these images are the most noticeably fucked up I think and I fucked up when adding the watermarks too so some of the horizontal images have vertical water marks on them too.  I also then failed to put the vertical watermarks on at all. (So please credit me if you use a non marked image!) Now normally I would fix this, but no one was out last night, I know because I went to Le Royale, Trash and Ruff Club and they all were sort of dead.  Now maybe they were all at Webster Hall, but my best guess is that it was just too damn cold out and people are gearing up for a five day weekend next week.  Then again what do I know.  So these photos are a bit screwy, and pretty boring, but you get what you get.  I like a few of them anyway.  Shout outs to Melitza and Nicole for your birthday celebration last night.  Hip hip hurray, etc.

Check the technique.

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Playhouse – 11.19.08

I normally don’t spend a lot of time at Meatpacking District bottle service clubs, but I was hired to shoot at Cain on 27th last night for a party called Playhouse.  I was a bit concerned at first when the door people looked at me like a leper when I walked in in a hoodie and high tops, but it turned out to be a blast. There was a really good mix of people from the night club types you would expect at a club like that mixed with the Michael T tranny set of Amanda Lepore, Andre J and Cazwell, mixed with a lot of cute 19 year old FIT students set off by a sick DJ and team of super hot go-go dancers called Raising Cain. Plus some of the Retro Kidz showed up, which is always fun, especially for someone like myself who wears Starter jackets and listens to Public Enemy daily. Anyway, I had a gay ol’ time and then I went with some Brazilian girls (not THE Brazilian girls) to get them tattooed at 4AM but all they did was speak Portuguese the entire time and then they went to meet up with a Brazilian tattoo artist and I had no idea what anyone was saying. Still, it was a fun time.

Check out all the photos, there are some good ones, including WAY too many photos of the sexy gold dressed go-go team. Speaking of their gold outfits, they were intensely amazing and I talked to the designer of said outfits and she may have possibly been the most attractive woman in the whole place.

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Introducing Teddy Blanks

As you may know, I managed a band called the Gaskets for 5 years. They are currently taking a break, possibly forever. Since the break lead singer Teddy Blanks, who’s birthday just happens to be today, has been working on new music. He has about 5 or 6 songs that he has done very rough demos, but he recently bought a studio mic and has been recording some better quality demos. One of my favorite songs that he has done was called “The Itch” which is a song based on a New Yorker article. The article was about a woman who contracted HIV and developed an itch on the inside of her head. She would wake up at night bleeding from scratching her head in her sleep. One night she scratched into her brain. The article was horrifying and one of my favorite New Yorker stories ever. Teddy made a great song out of it. I decided to send the song to the author of the article and he loved it. The New Yorker contacted Teddy and I last week about it and Teddy did a new demo, set up a myspace page and the New Yorker blog wrote about the song. So check out the blog here. And his Myspace page here.

He is currently working on a solo album which he starts recording in December and is working with Cobra Krames on a 4 song EP collaboration. Their first song comes out on a Krames Mix Tape to be released in the hopefully near future. I will certainly be blogging about that.

Download A Sample Track: Teddy Blanks – Hold Your Head Hold Your Head

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Rated X – 11.15.08

We are getting closer to getting caught up.  With this update I have all the party photos up at least.  I have some other stuff going up Friday I hope.  Anyway, Saturday after Girl Talk I stopped by Rated X because Rochelle an I had planned a photo shoot.  Unfortunately I ran out of memory at the previous show so I showed up and she didn’t want to come back to Brooklyn to get another memory card and I didn’t really have enough room to shoot her, so I deleted a few photos off the card and shot about 10 photos of her and a few more of the hot body contest.  So basically just naked people.  Other than Rochelle, there is only one naked girl in this gallery, but some pretty hilarious cock shots.  Enjoy.

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Girl Talk – 11.15.08

The first time I saw Girl Talk was probably in 2003… Maybe 2004. I was managing the Gaskets and we took one of our first shows to NYC. We were playing an Electro showcase at the Delancey. The night before the show we parked about 15 feet away from a fire hydrant. The next day the car was gone. We had no idea how to get it back. After freaking out in a bagel shop someone told us to call 311. We did that and they told us it would have been towed to the Brooklyn Naval Yard. We could get the car back if we paid $250, the only problem was that it was my friends sisters car and he didn’t know her license plate, or model year or really anything about the car. His sister was at summer camp and we couldn’t reach his mom. Several hours later it was getting late, we had no luck and then his mom called us. She for some reason was in whatever state that Mt. Rushmore is in and was visiting the giant stone presidents and did not get service. Unfortunately she didn’t know the plate number, but she knew it began with a J and what the model of the car was. This was not enough information for them there, but some how my friend talked them into telling us what the rest of the license plate was over the phone. We were told to take some train there and then walk over a mile through the projects to the impound. When we got there it was closing in 30 minutes and we had no proof that we owned the car somehow we convinced them to let us have the car. It was a miracle, but we had to pay another $250 for the parking ticket. Had we not gotten the car out right when we did we would have not have been able to get it out until Monday.

Anyway, that was a wondering long story and I am watching Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds, while I write this so it probaly was not the most well told yarn. So I will get to the point. We ended up playing a show that about 30 people showed up for with Girl Talk and the son of Chris Frantz and Tina Weymouth from The Talking Heads/ Tom Tom Club. Chris Frantz was actually there. Girl Talk was pretty nuts even then. He was jumping around the crowd, playing a bit of a song and then going nuts and the coming back to change the song. I didn’t really get it, but it was clearly punk rock as fuck.

After spending $500 dollars on the car, a tank and a half of gas, and tolls, we made exactly $27 dollars. Amazing.

We played with him a few more times in Richmond with Krames but it was never more than a hundred or so people. So it was pretty fucking nuts to see him play in front of 2000 or so screaming fans. I just wish the Gaskets could have played that show. 3 sold out shows in a venue as big as Terminal 5 is pretty amazing. The show was pretty mind blowing with fake money, beach balls and toilet paper guns. He got progressively more naked as the night went on, and when he took his shoes off, these girls started kissing them and dancing around with the shoes. It was intensely weird. I had a lot of fun though. I probably would have had a lot more fun if I didn’t fill up my memory card. Luckily Nicky came to my rescue and let me borrow one of his.

Okay, I will stop rambling and tell you just to look at the photos, (Or at the Voice here) there are some pretty great ones.

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The Death Set – 11.15.08

I am not sure if there were a lot of Op Ivy fans in the crowd Saturday when The Death Set opened up for Girl Talk at Terminal 5, but when they covered Bombshell the crowd went nuts… Or at least I did.  I was pretty amazingly psyched to hear someone do an Op Ivy cover for the first time since I was in high school.  They also ended their set with a Nirvana cover representing two of my top 10 favorite bands in 1995.  Seriously though, The Death Set were fucking awesome.  I usually hate seeing bands when I am not familiar with their music but I had a blast.  Ninjasonik did a couple of tracks with them too and got the kids going crazy which led to one of the best stage dives I have ever seen.  Anyway, good times, good photos.  Rock and roll.

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Friday – 11.14.08

I hit up both Trash and Ruff Club on one night so this gallery is a two-for one affair.  I spent most of my time at Trash but I hit up Ruff Club around 3 or so.  At Ruff I met some NYU girls who told me they were polyamorous and were in to hedonism. I saw them make out with a bunch of guys and each other in the few minutes I met them.  These  are my type of people.  At Trash I met a girl who had a really brilliant idea for a website and I want to help her with it, so I am going to keep the idea a secret.  But I didn’t get her number or anything, so dear, if you are out there, hit me up.  Let’s make some art.  Lastly, there is one boob in this gallery so watch out!  Be oh, so careful at work… Or something.  Not that anyone with the type of job where seeing boobs would get you in trouble would ever look at my site at work anyway.

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