Body Work Tonight

I am hanging out with Dimitri and Rok tonight at Savalas in Brooklyn.  You should stop by.  Franki Chan will be there, he might have drugs, drink tickets or Scion money.

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Girls & Boys – 8.20.08

I didn’t mean to go out last night, I swear… I just had to stop by Arlo & Esme for a second. Three hours later I was on my way to Beatrice and in for an extremely amusing and extremely late night… but we already covered that in the last post. I mostly shot video interviews with people and didn’t take all that many photos. LA Riots was there and that was good. There was some dancing and some shenanigans. There was also at least one photoblogger for every 5 people. For some reason an awful lot of my photos were out of focus, so despite taking over 100 photos, you only get to see 41 of them. But then again that is partially because I was editing the photos down for the Village Voice and I deleted all the duplicates of people and such. I also forgot to put my logo on the pictures which I may or may not correct tomorrow. (Okay, I corrected it.)

Um, yeah, photos.

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Crazy, Kinda Like Patrick

So I used to blog about my sex life a little bit on here, but it started getting me in trouble so I backed off.  I decided talking about that was not worth the grief.  However, since I will never see this girl again, and since I did the responsible thing in the end, I will tell you a tale.  Please skip to the final paragraph if you do not want to read this reasonably misogynistic story.

So last night (Tuesday) I had one of the best dates of my life and maybe for a few minutes on the way home I contemplated what life would be like not single.  I thought that I was going to get to see her again tonight (Wednesday) but I had no such luck.  I was just going to go home and work on this website, but I heard LA Riots were going to be at Arlo and Esme so I decided to take a few photos.  Around three I am getting ready to leave when I get a text from my friend Shwazye who is in town promoting his new record.  I meet him over at Beatrice around 3:30.  After looking around for a bit, I realize that I don’t know anyone there.  I never go to Beatrice because they won’t let you take photos in there, and I don’t really see a reason to go out if I can’t take photos.  Anyway, I was trying to talk to Shwazye but he seemed busy with this insanely hot light skinned black girl.  I let him be and started dancing a bit.  Moments later he sort of points this girl at me and she just starts dancing with me.  She kisses me almost at once without saying a word.  For a second I am convinced that she is a prostitute or something.  She had the biggest softest lips I had ever seen.  She kept trying to get me to grind my crotch on to her.  She kept bending over and I didn’t really know what to do.  She was pretty much nothing but tits and ass and I sort of wanted to do horrible things to her, but I was sort of bewildered to what the hell was going on.  I asked her if she was okay and she just said “I am fucked up.”  She sat down and pulled me on top of her.  Her scrap of a dress kept riding up and she was spreading her legs and just sort of rubbing herself.  These people next to us were so confused, and I just looked at them like “What the hell is going on?” I turn to Shwazye who meanwhile is with his own lady friend, and he just starts laughing and tells her to suck my dick.  She snaps back “I don’t do that!” and then proceeds to rub her giant boobs all over my face while I am laughing.  Her boobs kept coming out of her dress but at this point no one is looking.  It is when she sits in my lap and spreads her legs and puts them over my shoulder and starts clamping her legs around my head that people start looking.  She is just smacking me in the head with her thighs and pretty much everyone in the place is staring at us, and I am just looking at them bewildered.  At this point she hasn’t even told me her name despite my attempts at finding out.  Everyone just starts clapping and hooting.  She asks me to take her home with me.  I told her that despite how insanely hot she was, that she was far too drunk for me to take her home.  I needed to get out of there though.  Shwazye was leaving so I tried to go, but she could barely stand and I couldn’t figure out who she was with so I helped her down the stairs and into the street.  She kept wanting to smoke weed with me, but I told her I didn’t smoke.  She sort of started crying a little bit and the she would start laughing.  I eventually got her a cab and when I put her inside she just kept telling me that she loved me.  I sort of think I loved her too.  I gave her my card and told her “If you remember any of this, call me one day.” and I walked away.  I still don’t know her name. Shwayze took some pictures, maybe I will share them one day.

Okay, now that yarn has been woven, let’s get into some site news.  As you may have noticed, updates have been scant, but that does not mean I have not been working.  I have been working on this video project with DayRobber and we are just about done with three pilot episodes that we are going to be pitching to advertisers.  If someone signs on, then these videos are going to go live once a week or something.  I have spent the last three days getting more videos for the next batch of episodes.  So if you see me out this week, tell me an amazing story on camera and maybe you will make the cut.  I have some updates in the works, like the photos from tonight and some Krames press shots that were never published.  Nothing too exciting, but fuck, I am busy.  Hire me for something so I can quit my day job.  Also, I might be looking for a roommate starting in October, but I probably don’t want it to be you.  Lastly, this video is amazing, I have been wanting a reason to post it, so thanks to this contentless update, it is yours.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMZfdCkYPig[/youtube]

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Make Your Own Apple Spanking Paddle

After receiving a few emails/comments about my IGOR/Skull Paddle I decided I should teach everyone how to make their own. For my test project I chose an Apple Logo and a Power Button. I thought that was nice and geeky and all the internets would get a kick out of it. So if you want to see how to make your own custom ass smacking paddle, click here!

Why is it that I am so brilliant again?

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Pop Off – 8.17.08

Oh Rebel, how I have missed you. There is nothing weirder than a night club with four rooms with 4 different parties going on. Some empty rave was going on upstairs, and one of the smallest rooms seemed to have the most people, with 150 people packed into a 20′ x 20′ room going crazy to hip hop. Downstairs was our party, Pop Off which featured at least one host for every 5 people.  We all had a good time and even as late as 3:30 it was going pretty strong. In fact, I started dancing to oldies and funk around that time. I am not caught dancing often. Anyway, I took a bunch of photos, some of them good, and you can see them here. If you think pasties are NSFW, then don’t look at these at work… crazy go go dancing fools!

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Kill Shop Kill Store Opening Party – 8.15.08

Kill Shop Kill just opened their retail store on N. 5th and Bedford.  It is very small, but has the full line of Kill Shop Kill shirts and dresses as well as some hats and some other amazing things.  Sooner or later they will probably carry the DBB Shirts that may or may not ever exist.  After they opened the store they had a party across the street at Cyn Lounge featuring a Burning Angel Kissing booth and tons of fun.  The tables had meat all over them and Rok, Jake and Michael T destroyed the turn tables with a lot of rock and roll and some hip hop later in the night.  The photos are NSFW but surprisingly the nudity has nothing to do with any of the Burning Angel girls.  I guess you will just have to see for yourself.

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Sneak In

This video is pretty great. It just affirms something I learned years ago by telling people I was the manager of a band. Usually it was true, but I have snuck into countless shows and movies basically by acting like I belong. I have found that it is pretty easy to get in anywhere if I am holding my camera above my head and acting annoyed.

At SXSW this year I couldn’t get into the Blender party despite being pretty much a guest of honor the year before. I decided to try the VIP entrance and as my friends and I walked up with authority they simply lifted the rope and let us in. It ended up not even being an entrance to the party, but just a VIP lounge full of all the DJ’s and performers from some SPIN party. It was slightly awkward since it was such a small room and we didn’t know anyone. But we did get free food, and at least Kid Sister was really nice.

My friend Ross used to sneak into everything with a VIP badge he had from a show he played years ago. He once walked into a 311 show that was going on a few blocks from his house. He used to love them as a kid so he tried to sneak in. He grabbed the badge and walked inside. After a while hanging out backstage a security guy grabbed the pass, looked at it and said “Where did you get this?” He replied “Amy gave it to me.” The guy left him alone. A bit later, 311’s manager came up to him and tried to kick him out. He said “But Amy gave me this pass!” The manager did not buy it, but thought it was hilarious and let him stay, but he did kick him out of the backstage area.

Anyway, watch this video, it is great. You can get into any club using a DJ bag and head phones. But you don’t have to Sneak into Rebel tomorrow (Saturday) for the PopOff party. You just have to say “I am on Igor’s list” and they will let you in and I will actually get paid for hosting, which I sort of hate doing. Okay, bye.


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Last Tuesday Night – 8.12.08

Tuesday night was pretty crazy.  One of the girls I met at the porn party last week (Jada) was having her birthday in New York (she lives in Bal’mer).  I met up with her and JessieLee and Nicola (another girl I met last weekend) at Angels And Kings for Trainwreck Tuesday. When I got there there were a ton of people I had not seen in ages, so I pulled out my camera and grabbed a few shots.  One of those people I had not seen in ages was my favorite ex-porn star Kylee Kross who used to be a Burning Angel.  Nicola and JessieLee are current Burning Angels and I introduced some folks. After that we ran over to Happy Endings for the Six Six Sick/Disco Down party.  I convinced JessieLee to get naked (well she wasn’t that hard to convince) for Matt from the awesome Chicago photoblog Darkroom Demons and then we  decided to head over to Annex for Rebel Rebel.  On the way there, we ran into Dusty, another Burning Angel who had just left Annex and was heading to meet my ex-girlfriend and former Burning Angel Daphne.  It was just Burning Angel type of night.  We hung out with Daphne for a while and took pictures with strange European men and then I kid napped Dusty and we decided to walk around flashing strangers.  I would take photos as they walked up to random dudes on the street and showed them their boobs.  It was pretty hilarious for some reason and we met some awesome construction workers who let them take pictures on their motorcycle.  One of the dudes, not pictured, used to shoot rock bands in the late 70’s in NYC.  We talked photo for a while and he told me about his Leica.  I was jealous. Most of these pictures are not in this gallery because I was shooting a lot with my film camera, but some of them are so this gallery is NSFW and a lot of fun.

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Hang Out With Me

I am involved with two parties this weekend, it would be great if you hung out with me at one or both of them.

On Friday we have the launch of Kill Shop Kill’s store featuring Michael T, Rok One and Jake Destruction, all dear friends… as well as a Burning Angel kissing booth or something insane like that.

On Saturday we have Pop Off at Rebel.  I am actually hosting that one, so I need you guys to say my name at the door for free entry and then I can actually get paid.  I feel like that will be a lot of fun.  I will have a bottle, and I don’t drink, so I will probably just be running around pouring it into peoples mouths, but mostly yours.

So please, please come hang out with me this weekend.  We will dance about and be merry.  See you then.

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