Help!

So my day job makes me want to kill myself.  Anyone have any ideas of something I could do that wouldn’t make me want to slowly cut off my neck with a nail file from a Swiss Army knife?  I have zero skills, but I have never really been fired and I have done all sorts of weird things in my life.  I ran a magazine, a record label, managed bands, booked shows, booked parties, promoted all sorts of events, photography stuff, I type fast, do some web stuff, I write, I’ve blogged for seven years, I have office experience, retail experience, manual labor experience, have a bachelors degree, and I eat pussy like a champ.  Sorry, that was uncalled for.  So fucking hire me for something ASAP, but be warned, my dream job is to be a hillbilly river boat captain, so if I hear back from Mississippi I am probably going to do that.

PS. I spent way too long working on this:

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PPS. That photo was taken in 2002.

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King Of Kong: A Fistfull Of Quarters

I saw King Of Kong because I thought I was going to go see This Is England.  It just wasn’t playing when I thought it was.  I had read about King of Kong and it looked good so I said what the hell and bought a ticket.  Five minutes in when I realized I was going to watch a feature length film about Donkey Kong champions, I had a bit of buyers remorse.  An hour and a half later I had changed my mind.  Not only was there enough material for a feature length movie, but the movie could have been much longer.  The story is about two guys Billy Mitchel, the bad guy, and Steve Wiebe, the good guy.  Mitchel set the Donkey Kong record in 1982 and spent the rest of his life being pretty psyched about it.  He is very cut throat and will do whatever it takes to fuck over Steve Wiebe the challenger.  These guys are so black and white that makes the fourth Rocky movie look gray.  Mitchel is Drago.  My main problem with the film is how much they left out.  I wanted to see more strategy.  I wanted to hear more about other classic games.  I wanted to know more about the federation that keeps records on these games.  Do they cover modern games?  And most importantly I wanted to see more footage of Pac Man, because good Pac Man playing is like 100% more impressive that Donky Kong.  See what I mean?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s82nzkZBaek[/youtube]

Also, when looking up that video, I found this video.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOq6KzfFiTY[/youtube]

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Courtney.

My friend Courtney was in town for like 6 hours. We got some food and because she is so tiny when she ate her stomach expanded and made her look pregnant. Her friend and I thought this was so amazing. I talked her into taking some photos and um… there you have it. NSFW. Click here to see her giant belly.

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Advance Warning

High Voltage has moved to 200 Ochard St. (Between Houston and Stanton).  Get excited.

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Trash – 8.24.07

Stephen of the Snakes birthday, Lydia was hosting… had to be there. It was packed for whatever reason. I brought Joe Swanberg and Teddy of the Gaskets. I don’t think they had fun. This girl Erica (Erika?) thought I was gay until I kissed her and I went home early for some reason. Oh, my little brother was there. More experimentation with longer exposures. Click for good times.

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Kiss Me Like A Stranger

A week or two ago I finished Kiss Me Like A Stranger the autobiography of Gene Wilder.   I meant to talk about this a while ago, but I was out of town and since then I have read two books and started a third and so far it was the best of the 4.  (Although the Truffaut/Hitchcock book was very informative.)  Anyway, the book is clearly very funny, but it also deals a lot with his fucked up child hood and horrible dealings with women.  It is really about the loves in his life and less about the movies that made him a star.   He was a virgin until late at life because he thought God was punishing him and he prayed compulsively constantly for years.  His Gilda Radner stories are extremely touching and his conversations with Mel Brooks are hysterical.  All that aside, I have a very love/hate relationship with Gene Wilder.  Blazing Saddles is probably in my top 10 favorite movies, and if it were not for Wayne’s World being the greatest film of all time, it would probably be my favorite comedy.  That being said, Young Frankenstein is a movie that while I enjoyed as a kid, has become one of my least favorite films of all time.  There is exactly one reason for this:  At least twice a week for the last 12 years some asshole has called my EYE-gor instead of Igor because of Young Frankenstein.  You have no idea how often I have to talk about this fucking movie all because of this one seen.  God dammit Gene.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiEUPvOwsSs[/youtube]

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Unstoppable Perfect – 8.23.07

I started playing with longer exposures this night.  Let me know how you feel about it.  If you liked the old photos more, or these.  I don’t know.  Unstoppable Perfect is the new Rebel Rebel; another small gathering that ended up being very fun. I had to cab it there, and I think it was worth the $11 dollars I spent. I think I freaked a girl out when I told her that my only reason for existing was to take pictures of girls blowing me. Which was sort of a joke… sort of…  Check the shots.

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Samuel Valentine’s Birthday @ Snitch – 8.23.07

I was here for maybe 30 minutes before my ear started fucking up.  There were some crazy looking people there, so like that was good.  The band in the photos are The Oskar and Psycholovers.  Um… How insane would it be to hook up with this girl below.  I wouldn’t even know what to do.  Here are the rest.

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Ran Out Of Time…

I didn’t do one thing on my list of shit to do today. I just ran out of time. It seems like all I ever do is post excuses and I am sorry about that again. I have two galleries that are moments from going up, but I just need to leave my house right now. I’ll update at like 4 am tonight if I can. Probably I’ll just watch more episodes of the Wire instead. I am going to upload these photos before I leave so you can click here and here for the photos that I will officially post at 3 am. They won’t work until about 9:45PM EST. Okay? Good. Here is one bonus shot for now.

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