Three different people in the last month told me to read the Tucker Max book.  They all told me I reminded them of Max. This is not a good thing.  I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell is a collection of Tucker Max’s articles he wrote for his website.  I actually ended up getting the book on the advice of another internet writer and friend of mine, Maddox.  The book is just story after story of Max getting drunk and doing something insane.  Some of them are funny, some of them are amazing, but a lot of them were things that are real similar to things I have done and really that is sort of depressing… considering I don’t drink at all.  I had been thinking about writing a book like this for awhile, but evidently it has been done.  Max is sort of a jock asshole and the type of person who I spent most of my private school education avoiding.  That being said, he can tell a good story and I laughed out loud at least once every 20 pages, which is pretty impressive.  As much as I love Maddox, I actually thought it was funnier than his book.  A lot of the book is just Max doing sleazy things, bragging about sex, and being an asshole to strangers for no reason… but that pretty much sums up my life.  The most impressive thing in the book is that he got into a fist fight with a hocky mascot.  When questioned by the cops he told the officer (I am paraphrasing) “I am now in the elite group of people that has been in a fist fight with a professional sports mascot, and you sir are not in that club.”  That is brilliant, and probably the best reason for doing something I have ever heard.  Below is a video of him telling one of his more unbeliveable stories on the Opie and Anthony show.  See if you can figure out who the biggest douche bag in the room is… I can’t. 

Now that these are up, pretty much everything good from my old website is now up except for some random articles and my ebay pranks. I will explain the ebay pranks in the future, I may even do some more. In the mean time check out my lip sync videos. Doing lip sync videos is all the rage now, but once again, I was way ahead of my time. These things are so stupid. I got a webcam in 2000 and I just started making these and sending them to my friends. I had so many I wanted to put them online so I started this website. Unfortunately they don’t sync well and they are all exe files so most people can’t bare to watch them. I show these to girls on first dates. If they think I am brilliant then they might get past second base with me. I am so funny. Anyway, one of them I did years later and it was an AVI file so YouTube let me upload it. This one I put up is in no way funny. Be warned before you watch it. Some of the old ones on the other hand are funny. So check it out below and then check out the old ones here.

…Is both a place I don’t want to go, and a person I don’t want to know.

In the process of going through the old site and bringing the important stuff to the front, I found these old party pictures.  My friends used to be very into my website just so they could check themselves out online.  That was before everyone needed a myspace photo or before Last Nights Party was a twinkle in Bronques eye.  Anyway, here are the old party pictures.  They are all low res so I can upload them now despite 476ad not being DBB friendly yet…  Anyway, enjoy photos of old… many of these were shot on actual film! Oooh.

So, I talked to the guys over at 476ad, where I post all my photos and they let me know that in the next few days they are going to be updating their page so that images posted there will be much higher resolution, that way all your myspace photos will look much nicer in the future.  This is a very good thing.  The only bad thing is that I will not be uploading any pictures until they update the site.  I have three galleries that need to go up, and I will have probably have 3 more by the time the weekend is over.  I will catch up quickly though and get you your party pics asap.  In the mean time here is a picture of clearly the best band ever named after a genre that I accidentaly saved when googling the word “drama”.

Watch this swift boat ad for truth. See the guy with the fake mustache? That’s Jon Benjamin. You might know him from Dr. Katz or Home Movies. Well see that mustache? Yeah? Well it is mine now. I won it, in an auction. Don’t ask me why I needed to have it, but I do have it, so I win. I won it at the Invite Them Up 5th Anniversary show, which I will have pictures from up tomorrow. I think. Lots of comedians you should have, but probably have not heard of in those photos. Exciting! Anyway, enjoy the ‘stache film.

Speaking of the Gaskets, the lead singer of the Gaskets is my friend Ted P. Blanks Jr. Teddy as I call him is one heck of a graphic designer. In fact, he just moved to the middle of nowhere Mass, where he knows no one, and talks to no one, just so he can work for designers that he greatly respects. So he is currently senior designer for Winterhouse Studios. I am very proud of him. Anyway, he started a YouTube channel for them, and uploaded his credits sequence for the live Gaskets DVD I produced. Check out the video below, and check out the DVD here.

As I have mentioned I manage this band the Gaskets. When they were in high school they got their start playing at an open mic night at a comedy bar called Matt’s Village Pub every Thursday for years. Keep in mind they are a dance band, playing at an open mic. All the other bands were alt country singer/songwriters and the like. Anyway, during that time we met a bunch of really cool people that we probably would have never met in our normal lives. Since the Gaskets stopped doing open mics, we have not seen a lot of our old friends, but for one night everyone got together and played. It was not the normal Gaskets crowd, but they were all old friends, and that was a ton of fun. Thanks to the Atkinsons for setting the show up. Also, this gallery has a few photos of my friend Caley who happens to look better naked than anyone I have, or will ever see. Unfortunately she is wearing clothes in these photos, but enjoy my friend Ryan’s tits below.

My website used to get a lot of fan signs.  Most of them were of half naked girls, as you can see here.  That being said, my favorite ones were not of boobs.  I had one from Mark McKinney from Kids in The Hall, Lloyd Kaufman of Troma and my favorite photographer Glen E. Friedman. I had someone scan their face and someones robot arm.  I had someone spell BORED out in weed and someone write Drivenbyboredom on their car window.  Anyway, I love these signs, and I hope I get more in the future.  If you want to make one for me, send it in and I will link whatever you want

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